Romeo and Juliet (Have Nothing On Us)
by Another Writer Who Loves
Summary: It didn't mean anything to them that Mary was raised a hunter or that John was a Man of Letters in training, they were more than okay with having a secret relationship together, away from prying eyes. But years of keeping the secret, including keeping Marys son Deans parentage a secret, the both of them are more than a little bit tired of being quiet.
1. Chapter 1

This drive always reminded him of Romeo and Juliet and John hated that with every last part of his being.

He had done everything he could to make sure that he wasn't followed. He had rented a car with the fake id he had and he took every other road that he knew of to make sure to stay away from the main roads.

As he got closer to his destination he brought his hands closer to one another so that he could pull his Men of Letters ring off of his finger, throwing it into the glove compartment without a care where it landed.

There was a child outside of the motel room, digging diligently into the dirt as a woman watched mindfully a few feet away. John felt a smile spread along his face as he drove closer and the tension left his body completely as the child looked up at the sound of his car.

The child jumped up to his feet and immediately ran towards him as fast as he could. The woman was smiling as well as she followed after him at a steady pace. John got out of the car and turned kneeling down, arms extended.

"Daddy!" Dean shouted in excitement, crashing into Johns chest and arms. John laughed as he stood up, holding Dean close, not caring one bit at the dirt that was staining his suit. "Daddy!"

"Hey bud." John said, kissing Deans forehead as he beamed at him, clinging to him. "What were you doing?"

"Digging." Dean told him importantly with a nod. "Cause I gotta practice! Grandpa said its so I can hide the bodies!"

"Grandpa doesn't know that a certain mister isn't going to be going to any hunt any time soon." Mary said as she joined them, smiling brightly at him. "He keeps talking about taking him on a hunt of some kind."

John kept his frown to himself, shifting Dean into one arm so that he could curl the other around Mary to bring her in close, kissing her softly on the lips. Both of Mary's hands came up to hold onto him as they kissed.

"Missed you." Mary whispered, leaning in to kiss him once more, lips sliding over each other.

"Missed you too." John murmured, hand coming up to cup her cheek and tenderly stroke at it with his thumb.

Dean gave a small whine and nuzzled at the both of them, small arms circling around Johns neck and holding onto him tightly. "Me too!" he insisted. "Missed you too daddy!"

John laughed and kissed Deans cheek once more, moving to rub at his back. "I missed you too Dean." he assured him. Satisfied Dean nodded and curled up against his chest once more, letting out a small pleased sigh.

John held him close and looked up at Mary who was watching both of them with a look of fondness, yet tinged with sadness. She reached out to take John's hand in hers and brought it to her stomach.

"Baby missed you too." she said softly, moving into his touch as he spread his hand over the slight bump on her stomach.

John moved his hand over her stomach, feeling the knot in his chest loosen and disappear with every moment that passed.

"I'm sorry." he said softly, looking up at her. "I wish that I could be with you guys all the time. I really do."

"I know." Mary said, playing with the fingers spread over her stomach. "I know, and I do too. And we will be." she smiled at him. "Just need a bit more time."

John nodded, leaning in to kiss her one more time, pressing their foreheads together as he just savored the moment of the three, technically four, of them together again.

"C'mon." Mary said, tugging him towards the motel room. "Let's give Deano a bath and then we can go out and have some fun."

"No bath!" Dean protested, wiggling in Johns arms.

John laughed and hoisted him up a bit more. "I think a dirty boy needs to have a bath." he said teasingly.

"No bath!" Dean repeated, his wiggling intensifying as he tried to break free, even as he started to laugh. "Not dirty!"

"So dirty." Mary added as they came into the motel room. John immediately noted the salt lines Mary had put around the room for protection and the two beds. Not that it mattered that much, they both knew that Dean would start in his own bed and then end up in theirs at some point during the night.

He also saw the clothes laid out for him to change into, a simple pair of jeans, a grey shirt, and flannel.

"Did you let him play in the dirt specifically so that I would be the one to give him a bath?" John couldn't help but ask, transferring him over to Mary so that he could shrug out of his suit, throwing it to the side uncaringly.

Mary's smile was mischievous as she took Dean from him, nuzzling at him. "Maybe." she dawdled. "I just figured that it's only fair that you get messy from trying to give him a bath too."

Johns smile faded for a moment and he nodded. "I'll give all the baths when we're together for good." he promised her.

Mary's smile faded as well. "I didn't mean it like that." she told him, holding Dean closer to her.

"I know, I know." John said reassuringly, smiling once more. He came to her side once more. "I'm just sorry that...you have to do this alone most of the time."

Mary gave a small shrug. "Not always alone. I still have my parents and they're more than happy to help." she told him. "Granted they are trying to pressure me into naming who Dean's father is."

"What are you telling them?" John asked as he took Dean from her and started towards the bathroom.

"I told them it's John Wayne." Mary said with a nod, a smile tugging at her lips. "I think dad kinda believed me at one point actually."

John laughed as Mary moved past him to start the water, slowly letting the bathtub fill up. Dean started to squirm once more at the sound of water running and John tightened his grip around him.

"Let's get this done with and we can finally have some good old family fun." Mary said with another smile, leaning in to kiss his cheek and hand him Deans wash.

**I do not own Supernatural. **

**312/365**

**I do take requests so if you have requests you can send them to me.**


	2. Chapter 2

Dean hadn't been planned.

When they had started this they were teenagers, hormones were at an all time high and quite honestly it had all been about sex and that was it. The thrill of the chase and the utter scandal of doing such a thing was the major driving force for them.

Mary was unlike any woman he had ever known, not that he had known many. She was direct, to the point, and assertive, not afraid to take control and go after what she had wanted.

And what she had wanted, was him.

Or more to the point the thing between his legs but he came along with it.

They didn't try to pretend that it was anything else. They didn't have dates, they didn't have secret notes being passed to one another, letters being sent in code, or any real communication other than where they were and if the other was down to meet up in a motel room for some fun.

Neither of them made any motion to make it anything else, they didn't want to or need to. John was busy studying for his initiation into the Men of Letters, something that took years for him to formally pass. Mary had been busy hunting everything that went bump in the night and if she ever had a problem she kept it to herself.

They never talked about anything really, if Mary had gotten hurt on a hunt and it would prevent them from some sort of sexual activity she told him but other than that she never said a word. He kept his studies to himself and like the other Letters, didn't tell her anything about what artifacts they had or any sort of supernatural information.

The only time they spent together was for sex, sometimes he ended up taking a shower as well, sometimes she'd join him in there for another round, but other than that once they were done he'd leave and go back to his own place to continue his studies and Mary would go off to do whatever it was she did.

They never did the cuddling thing, they never spoke about anything else, never hinted at anything else between them that would create anything other than the sexual relationship that they were both a part of.

He knew when it changed. It was after another time of sex and he had been putting his suit back on. He had gone to the mirror to properly make his tie when Mary had gotten up from the bed, the sheet wrapped around her naked body, and went to the radio to turn it on, the announcer of a football game narrating.

John paused, watching Mary sit down on the bed as she listened to the radio. His tongue felt like lead for a moment before he spoke. "Who's playing?"

Mary glanced at him, a bit surprised at the question, but answered. "Kansas Jayhawks vs. Washington State." she told him. "Right at home in Lawrence."

John slowly finished his tie and turned around. "You're from Lawrence?" he asked. It had been the longest conversation they've had since they started this.

"Born, raised, and trained." Mary confirmed with a nod, laying down on the bed and turning onto her side so that she could look at him. "You?"

John hesitated, but there was no harm in answering, not like she'd figure out where the bunker really was. "Lebanon."

Mary smiled at that, it relaxed her and it made her look that much softer, John felt a small pang and warmth in his chest at the sight of it. "We're basically neighbors." she said.

John absentmindedly tugged at his tie, it was suddenly a bit too tight on him, glancing at the radio. He did have some money riding on the game after all. "Mind if I stay and listen?"

Mary waved at the rest of the bed. "Feel free." she said. "I put down some bets earlier so I want to make sure that I know if I won or not."

John sat down on the edge of the bed, loosening his tie and leaning back against the headboard, all too aware of his shoes and clothes at the moment. "Who'd you bet for?"

Mary laughed. "You have to ask?" she teased. "Kansas State, all the way."

John laughed with her, smiling. "Me too."

"You're placing bets with the bookies?" Mary asked, raising an eyebrow, a mischievous smile on her face. "How naughty."

And that was the spark. They listened to the announcer, Mary pumped her fist into the air every time Kansas scored. At some point John ordered a pizza for them to share.

And they talked. They talked the entire time, learning new things about each other.

They had a lot more in common than they first thought, they had similar tastes in music, movies, and books. Mary could hold her drinks easily, she pulled out a couple six packs from the cooler she brought in to add to the pizza, and they would tap their beers together when the team scored as well.

Mary grinned widely when the final score was announced, 29-8, and she laughed in delight. "Looks like we won all around." she said, bringing her up to toast him before she downed it.

John laughed and did the same, feeling a pleasant buzz from the beer and the food. He placed the can on top of the empty box, unsure of what to do now. He didn't feel confident enough to drive back to his home and he couldn't leave the car here. He could go to the office and get his own room.

Mary answered it for him, she cleared the bed of its containers and fluffed it to get rid of any crumbs that were laying around. She raised an eyebrow at him. "You staying the night?" she asked.

John worked his jaw from side to side. "Am I allowed?" he asked.

Mary nodded, her gaze open and unguarded. There had been a shift, and he was sure that she had felt it too, but he was uncertain, he couldn't feel his footing anymore and had no idea how to react with this anymore.

He undressed again, folding everything and putting them to the side until he got to his boxers and laid down on the bed. Mary turned the light off and got into the bed as well, staying on her side. Even in the dark of the night he could feel her eyes on him.

"Night John." she told him softly.

"Good night." John said just as softly. "Mary."

Things changed between them after that night, they got more...intimate. Intimate in a way that they hadn't before. It started with talking more, opening up more to her and her to him. She'd have a motel room and he started to bring food as well. He stayed the night more and more and would buy them breakfast in the morning.

He never really had a friend, not growing up and not now. There were other Men of Letters children that he would attend lessons with but other than that he nothing else. He found out that Mary was the same, hunting prevented her from being able to connect with the other children around her and later on, the hunters in her life weren't the type she wanted to be more than acquaintances with.

They were semi dating, at least Mary teased him about it. They went out to bars at night, both of them were hustling for money. Mary played up the whole blonde, wide eyed innocent girl to a tee when she played pool and John played the cards the right way, enabling them to leave with their pockets heavier than when they came in.

He started to look forward to it more and more, and not just the having sex part. He enjoyed their conversations, he enjoyed spending time with her, he enjoyed being with her plain and simple.

But then everything changed. He came to the motel she called him and when he knocked on the door she answered, looking grave and distraught.

"What's wrong?" John asked, coming into the room and closing the door behind him. He reached out and wrapped his arms around her tightly, feeling the knot get worse in his chest when she leaned into his chest and embrace. Mary was a touchy feely kind of girl but she never really sought comfort from him like this. "What's wrong sweetheart?"

He felt Mary swallow hard, she was even shaking slightly. Taking a deep breath she pulled away from his embrace enough to grab something from the table, handing it to him.

He took the piece of plastic from her, feeling his stomach drop when he saw the small plus sign.

He tried to do the right thing. He proposed right then and there, damn everything else. Damn his studying, damn his initiation, damn the Letters. If Mary was carrying his child he was going to marry her and not have a bastard child.

Mary was the one that refused, getting that hard look in her voice and eyes that he had grown familiar with. She was the one to bring up the Letters and everything that he had worked for, refusing to budge no matter what he tried to argue with. She had no problem raising the child on her own, she had no problem being an unwed mother, she had always had a feeling that it was going to end up like that one way or another.

He tried to argue, he tried to compromise, he tried to use everything that he had to make her budge and change her mind to no avail. Mary was the most stubborn person he knew and he wasn't going to lie and say that it didn't turn him on in a way.

But she did compromise. She was planning on having the child and raising in on her own with her parents occasionally helping. He'd kept coming to her and the child in secret to try his best to help raise it to the best of his ability. It would be a ragtag team of parenting but to hell of it if John was going to be absent in his own child's life.

Dean wasn't a planned child. But he was damn well loved before he was even born.

**I do not own Supernatural. **

**318/365**

**I do take requests so if you have requests you can send them to me.**


	3. Chapter 3

He loved Dean unconditionally. He never knew he could love another person like this and be loved in return until he felt the love of a father and a son.

That being said.

Dean was also the reason they had to sneak around as they did to find the proper place to have sex and try their best not to wake him up.

Mary was stifling her laughter as she tugged him into the bathroom, hands tugging at his belt as they both shared a grin.

"C'mon, before he wakes up and realizes we're not in bed." she whispered to him as he carefully and quietly closed the door with his foot. Still grinning John reached for her to pull her closer, properly kissing her.

Mary hummed into the kiss, hands already moving to undo the belt and pull it free out of its loops enough for his jeans to fall down, muffled by the fabric, and step out of.

John reached for her clothes, pulling them off easily and kissing the skin that was revealed. Mary arched into his touch, tangling her fingers into his hair. Slowly he moved to his knees, hands cradling her stomach and the slight bump, kissing it softly.

He looked up at her, smiling back when he saw her smile, leaning into her skin and touch. "I missed you." he whispered.

Mary tugged him back up, kissing him and running her fingers down his chest, unbuttoning the shirt as she went.

"I've missed you too." she told him, sliding the shirt off of him and letting it fall. Her hands went to her pants as well and he helped her to shimmy her way out of them.

Mary turned away enough to reach into the bathtub and turn the water on. He wrapped his arms around her, pulling her back against him, nuzzling into her shoulder.

They've had to play around with the location more times than he could count. Dean was a light sleeper and he loved to join them in bed. Mary had said he does the same thing at their apartment when its just her and him so he just didn't like to be alone in bed.

So it led to them finding various and at times embarrassing ways to find places to have sex. They used to use the backseat of Mary's impala quite a bit in the beginning but that just lead to Dean freaking out when he couldn't find them and just crying for the entire night.

Even going out of the motel was risky in that the wrong people could see them outside and with the rise of cameras, neither of them wanted their images out there.

So it led to the only other place in the motel that they could use that was close to Dean, the shower.

Which also led to a few interesting positions, poses, and at times injuries and bruises but it helped to get the job done.

Once the water was hot enough Mary stepped into the shower followed by him. Immediately he got water into his eyes and he rubbed at them, grinning as he leaned in to kiss her once more.

His hand slid down to her stomach, stroking at the small bump that was there. He was never able to tear his attention away from it, the same with Dean. It was a promise of life, a promise that held the both of them.

Mary leaned against the wall, tilting her hips out towards him with a slightly mischievous look and smile. The moment was ruined slightly when her footing slipped and John quickly grabbed her around her waist, pulling her close.

Mary laughed, hands on his shoulder and pressing her forehead against his arm. "Let's do this. Before one of us gets a concussion." she teased.

"Sounds like a plan." John hummed, reaching down to pick her up, moving her legs around his waist.

Once they were done and toweled off Mary opened the door, peering into the other room before winking at John. "Still asleep." she whispered, walking out as quietly as she could. John finished toweling off his hair and followed her, reaching to wrap an arm around her waist.

He glanced at Dean who was sprawled out on the bed, limbs ashrew, mouth open, and a hint of drool escaping the corner of his lips as he slept. John felt himself soften as he watched Dean sleep for a moment, the kid shifting and wiggling slightly.

Mary moved away to prepare their bed properly so John took that moment to go to Deans side, kneeling next to him. Unable to help himself he reached out and stroked his fingers through Deans hair, it was getting a bit long now that they were getting snagged in the strands.

Dean murmured something in his sleep, nuzzling closer to John's hand and barely opening his eyes. "Daddy?" he mumbled, voice heavy with sleep.

"Its alright buddy, go to sleep." John said in a low, quiet voice.

Dean mumbled something else, he couldn't really make it out, but reached for him. John slid his hands under Dean and picked him up easily, holding him close as he turned to get into the bed where Mary had laid down.

Setting Dean between them John carefully joined her in the bed, reaching out to drape his arm over Dean and Mary. Mary pressed in close as well, curling around the both of them.

"I love you." John whispered to her, feeling her smile in the dark.

"I love you too." Mary whispered back, reaching down his arm until she could entwine their fingers together tightly.

He slept better that night than he had in a long time.

**I do not own Supernatural. **

**324/365**

**I do take requests so if you have requests you can send them to me.**


	4. Chapter 4

The day after was always a tense affair because they all knew exactly what was going to happen.

John was going to leave again and not come back a bit longer.

They procrastinated for as long as possible. They slept in late, curled around one another in the bed and talking about whatever they didn't manage to catch up on yesterday.

But then their stomachs would growl and they had to get up and get ready to go get breakfast. John was the one to get Dean ready, just wanting to have a few extra moments with him. Dean in turn clung hard to him, not wanting to let go.

They went down the street to get breakfast, the diner had chocolate chip pancakes that Dean was in love with and barely refrained from using his hands to eat.

"He's like this at home." Mary told him, passing along wet napkins to John so that he could wipe the sticky residue off of Deans fingers. "I swear I taught him his manners."

John would slip away to pay for the breakfast, knowing Mary wouldn't fight about it in front of Dean but she still stared at him in disapproval.

"You don't have to do that, you don't get that much money." she did whisper to him when they left the diner. He just smiled and kissed her cheek.

Going back to the motel room Mary cleaned the rest of the room, gathering all of their things and putting it into the trunk of her impala. At that time John took off the clothes she had given him and folded them to be put away as well, grabbing his suit from the corner of the room and putting it back on, not caring how rumpled and wrinkled it was.

Once she was busy with the trunk, and the hood hid him just a bit that he needed, he reached into his bag and took out an envelope, pretty much all the money he had made from his part time job and side hustling at bars that he had. He opened the glove compartment and put it there, for Mary to find.

He knew that she would try to fight him on this so he tried to keep it hidden until the point that he was gone. She forever claimed that she didn't need his money, she had her own, and it was his money.

Yes, it was his money and he wanted to put it towards Dean and Mary in every single way. It in no way made up for his absence and not being there but at the very least he knew that she would use it for Dean.

Mary was an incredibly proud person, she'd never use the money on her, even if she had no other choice.

But when it came to Dean he knew that she would be willing to swallow her pride completely and do whatever it took to make sure he was okay.

A curse of being a parent she had joked with him one time.

So he put the envelope in the glove compartment, right under her map that he knew she was going to pick up and look at later on, and closed the compartment, glancing as Mary closed the trunk and walked around the car to the driver's seat. She looked at him suspiciously but didn't say anything.

John turned around to Dean in the backseat who had been watching and winked at him, making him giggle.

"What are you two doing?" Mary asked in amusement, starting the car. The engine roared to life and Dean grinned at the sound.

"Nothing." John said simply, taking her hand in his and kissing the back of it. He rubbed his thumb against hers and took a deep breath.

They always hated this part and so did Dean, he unclicked himself from his carseat and moved up to the front, falling into Johns lap and curling tightly around him.

John held him close with one arm, holding onto Marys hand with his free one. Mary scooted over the rest of the way so that she could place her head on his shoulder as well.

This was the hardest part and he hated it deeply, he always came close to just say screw it, renouncing everything that the men of letters stood for, and just stay with Mary and Dean.

But he also knew that Mary would never let him do that. After what felt like too short a time John had to pull away, gently shifting Dean back into Marys arms. Dean clung to him for a moment but then let go, eyes wide and his upper lip shaking slightly.

John leaned in to kiss Deans forehead and then up to kiss Mary once more. "I'll call you as soon as I can get away again." he murmured. He felt Mary nod and he swallowed hard.

"I love you" he whispered, he reached for Dean as well. "I love you too Dean."

"I love you daddy." Dean told him, already sounding like he was close to crying. John felt his heart clench but he pushed past the pain.

With a great force he pulled away from the both of them, managing a small smile which Mary returned to him, despite how shaky it looked.

"Get home safe." he said. "Love you both." before he could change his own mind he got out of the car and walked to his that was parked a few feet away. It was hard to force his feet to walk the rest of the way until he was in his driver's seat.

He looked down at his ring that he had thrown to the side and reached down to pick it up. He stared at it, stared at the aquarian star that was the men of letters symbol, tradition stated he put it on his right hand on the ring finger, above even the wedding ring that he was going to wear once he was married.

He slid it onto his left hand and started the car, slowly inching out of the parking lot and watching Mary do the same. He waved at them, seeing her wave back and they got back onto the road; Mary going to the right and him going to the left.

He was already trying to figure out when the next time he could see them again.

**I do not own Supernatural. **

**329/365**

**I do take requests so if you have requests you can send them to me.**


	5. Chapter 5

Mary gave a groan as she straightened up, rubbing at her lower back as she tried to work out the knots.

"C'mon kiddo, you're the size of an apple right now." she sighed, looking down at the slight bump on her stomach. "You can't be doing this to me like that."

Sighing she shook her head, looking down at the mess of parts that were supposed to come together to be a crib. It was early for it but she wanted to get it down before she couldn't bend down anymore, or have to ask her dad for help.

She wished that she hadn't sold off Deans old crib but the truth was that she got good money for it and she hadn't expected to become pregnant so soon again.

Looking up at the sound of padded feet on the ground she smiled when Dean peered into the room and then came in, holding onto a juice box. "What's up kiddo?" she asked, she had left him in the other room, more than content to just color in his book.

In an answer Dean held the juice box up to her, straw already in it. "Snack time." he told her, holding out a handful of animal crackers in his other hand as well.

Mary laughed and felt her chest warm at that. "Alright, snack time." she agreed, sitting down on the ground. Dean climbed onto her lap and held everything out for her. Taking a cracker she snapped it in half and handed him a piece back, popping the other into her mouth. Dean chewed on his piece, holding the juice box to her incessantly.

She kissed his forehead and took the juice box, taking small sips before she offered him some as well. Together they slowly ate crackers and drank the juice until it was gone and Mary just wrapped both her arms around him, tucking him under her chin.

It was getting harder and harder every day and Mary wasn't sure if she was going to be able to do it anymore. She loved Dean unconditionally and she knew that she was going to love the next one just as much, but this was hard. It was almost impossibly hard.

Money was the biggest issue here. She had a nest egg that she could depend on but it wasn't going to hold forever. She wasn't able to go hustle at the bars anymore, doing so required her to be drinking and that was against the rules for multiples reasons now. She did have a part time job at the supermarket as a cashier but it wasn't really bringing that much money into her life.

Then she had to go into the money that John had been leaving her and oh she hated it, hated even having to use a dime of it, but in the end...she needed to keep Dean fed and a roof over his head. Before she became pregnant again she sometimes skipped over some meals to make sure that Dean had enough but she was no longer able to do that, little baby to be named needed her to eat too now.

Her parents helped out too and she couldn't say no to them. They didn't leave money, they knew she'd get mad at them for that, but once a week they broke into her apartment to restock her refrigerator and cabinets of food.

Her parents had also been edging her into coming back to live with them instead of on her own in the little apartment for her and Dean. She knew that the both of them, three of them soon, needed the space and needed to be away from her parents. They were always halfway demanding to know who the father was, just barely satisfied at the least that both kids had the same father.

They also were demanding that the father step in and do the right thing, it bothered them that their grandchildren were going to be bastards in the eyes of the law. They threatened, they pleaded, they even outright bribed her to find out who the father is but Mary refused to budge.

Dean was in on it, just enough. He thought that they were playing a game in which the rules are, not to talk about daddy in front of other people. He wasn't supposed to talk about him to anyone or even mention that he had seen him.

He was confused about it but listened, that was a better part of him, he was so obedient and it made her happy and just a little sad about it.

Looking around the room and at the crib on the floor, she wavered and not for the first time. A part of her wanted to move back into her parents' house, it would take so much pressure off of her financially and emotionally. Despite the circumstances her parents loved Dean, how could you not, and were ready to do anything they could to help.

Sighing Mary pulled Dean closer to her, he nuzzled back in return, more than happy to just cuddle for as long as they wanted to, one hand going down to her stomach.

They could do this, they could do it together, her and Dean. Yeah she'd need help from her parents and sometimes John but she could do it.

"Hey kiddo, want to help me put the crib together?" she asked, looking down at Dean who looked back up at her. "We can figure out how to bake a pie later too."

Dean brightened and nodded, getting off of her lap and to the pieces of furniture on the ground. "Kay!" he said with a grin. "Now?"

Mary nodded and stood, brushing her front off. "Now." she agreed, picking up the instructions. "Now we're smart, we can figure this out."

She could figure this out, she could make it work. She might have to cut some corners and do a few other things but they were going to be fine.

Smiling down at Dean as he handed her piece by piece, or at least dragged them over to her, and slowly they built the crib together. Hands on her hips she nodded and looked down at Dean, grinning at him.

"C'mon, pie time." she said, taking his hand in hers and going to the kitchen.

They were going to be fine.

**I do not own Supernatural. **

**330/365**

**I do take requests so if you have requests you can send them to me.**


	6. Chapter 6

"When I gave you guys the keys to my apartment, it was supposed to be for emergency use only." Mary said dryly, sitting at the kitchen table with Dean on her lap.

Neither of her parents looked chagrined in the least as they put things away.

"This was an emergency." her dad, Samuel, told her, holding up a bag of apples. "You had no more apples, how can you allow that to happen?"

"And you don't have anymore of those little tomatoes that you like to snack on." her mom, Deanna, added as she put cans of whatever kind of food into the cabinets. "And we can't let that happen."

She wasn't going to admit it, but it was a bit of a relief to see her fridge and cabinets filled and having her parents around made her feel just a bit more at ease.

"And besides." Deanna said, putting the bags away and coming over to pluck Dean off of her lap and nuzzle at him much to his delight. "We wanted to see our little grandchild."

Samuel was smiling as he joined him, reaching out to ruffle Deans short hair. "Looks a lot like you, more and more each day." he said and Mary had to smirk slightly. She knew that her dad was betting on Dean looking like his father which would hopefully give him a clue to whoever impregnated her.

But Dean looked too much like her and she was kinda hoping for the same with the next one. Though she had a feeling that that wasn't going to happen.

Her parents shared a look and before Mary could protest Deanna quickly scurried out of the room holding Dean, loudly exclaiming that she wanted to see what new things Dean had painted and colored.

"My baby." Mary said, a little bit alarmed and starting to get up. Samuel gently pulled her back into her seat and went to one of the bags. He handed her a smoothie that one of them made and with a sullen look Mary settled back and slowly drank it, smiling at the taste of strawberries and blueberries.

Samuel took a smoothie of his own and sat in the other chair, watching her as they slowly drank together. Once the glasses were empty he took them to the sink and sat down once more, reaching out to take her hand in his.

"Mary." he said softly and despite it, Mary tensed up, she already didn't like where this was going. "We need to talk."

"About what?" she asked, trying to relax, if not for her then for the baby. The kid didn't need this additional stress.

"About...everything." Samuel told her. "Your situation, the children, all of it."

"Dad I'm fine." Mary tried to assure him.

"You're fine now, but it's going to get harder." Samuel said, shrugging. "Dean is an angel, we adore him too, but he's still a child and now you're going to have an infant soon. Your mom and I, we just want to help."

"You're helping enough." Mary told him. "And I can take care of it, yeah it's a bit hard but I can do it."

"But there's no shame in getting a bit extra help." Samuel said. He gave a small sigh. "And since the father, you're sure that the father is the same for both of them?"

Mary just shot him a look, narrowing her eyes. "I know myself enough." she told him tensely. "I know who I'm sleeping around with."

"Okay, good." Samuel said, nodding. "Can I ask you a few things? Honestly?" he waited for her to nod as well. "Does the father know about them?"

"Yes." Mary said shortly.

"Has he offered to help you?"

"Yes."

"Has he offered to raise them or marry you?"

"Yes."

"And you're the one saying no."

"Yes."

Samuel didn't look pleased but he nodded, thinking to himself. "Is there a specific reason you said no to him?" he asked.

"Yes." Mary said, tapping her fingers against the side of the chair. "And I'm not getting into those reasons."

"Fine, that's up to you." Samuel said, entwining his fingers on his lap. "Mary, I want to give you some offers and I want you to really think about them."

"Depends on what you're going to offer me." Mary said simply, shrugging.

"Well first of, you move back home, the three of you." he nodded at her stomach. "That way your mom and I are always going to be at home and someone can always watch the kids. There'll be food in the kitchen and things will be taken care of."

"I don't want to move back in." Mary told him, fidgeting in her seat, wrapping an arm around her stomach.

"Okay, the next one is you tell me who the father is and I can go and beat him until he coughs up enough money, and I'll say how much is enough, that you can take care of yourself and the other two for a few years at least." Samuel said, his face stern but a smile tugging at his lips.

Mary couldn't help but laugh as well. "How about no?" she teased.

Samuel smiled at her and reached out to take her hand once more, squeezing it. "This one I really want you to think about," he told her. "There's a hunter I know, just three years older than you. Good hunter, good man, handy and reliable." she somehow saw where this was going but she didn't like it. "And most of all, he's looking to settle down a bit."

"I have a kid and I'm pregnant with someone else's kid." Mary reminded him. "Most men won't like that."

"Well gossip on the grapevine says that he can't have kids." Samuel told her. "I didn't try to go into the details but I don't think he'd mind."

"Dad." Mary started to say.

"Just...just think about it." Samuel told her. "I just want to know that you and the children are taken care of Mary. So just...think about it."

**I do not own Supernatural. **

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	7. Chapter 7

"Mama?"

Dean's voice broke through the trance that Mary had been, blinking and looking down at Dean at her side. "Yes baby?"

Dean was gripped at her pants and looking up at her worriedly. "Okay?" he asked.

Mary smiled once more and wiped her hand before she reached down and stroked at his hair. "I'm okay." she told him. "Want a snack?"

Dean didn't look convinced but nodded, still holding onto her as she moved to grab an apple and a new knife, cutting it into pieces and putting it on a plate before handing it Dean. Watching him carefully hold it he moved to sit at the table, sitting and slowly eating each piece.

Sighing Mary turned back to what she had been doing, picking up the potato again and looking at the cookbook she had propped up. She was a horrible cook, there was no doubting that, but she was trying and it was mostly edible things that Dean didn't complain about so that had to count for something.

Her mind kept going to what her dad had told her, about another hunter that was willing to be with her despite having two kids by someone else. They had even left his number with her attached to the refrigerator with a magnet and she kept glancing at it.

She loved John, she knew that she did, and she also knew that he loved them. Their relationship had changed from just a semi-friends-with-benefits to an actual...relationship more or less.

More on the less side than the more side.

Where was the relationship with her and John even going? She kept pushing him away and convincing him to focus on his studies and whatever else it entails to become a Man of Letters.

But what was going to happen once he was? He wouldn't be freer, in fact it would be the opposite. He'd have more responsibilities and more duties to take care of, he was barely able to get away now, what would happen once he was sworn in?

Putting everything down Mary gripped at the counter, her eyes unseeing at some point at her wall. What was going to happen to them once John became a man of letters?

They made no promises to one another, there was never talk about marriage or continuing the relationship, it was always goodbye until the next phone call that let her know to go out and get a motel room for them for the night.

She wouldn't mind if it was just her, she had no desire to settle down back then, had no desire to even stay in one place for too long. She had been too busy sowing her oats and killing anything that needed to be killed.

But it wasn't just her anymore, it was Dean, it was the baby that was coming in six months. It was the terrifying understanding that no, she wasn't going to be able to do this on her own for much longer.

The last month and a half she had been pregnant with Dean she had been in a lot of pain and had immediately been put on bedrest by a doctor, of course she had been with her parents, of course she had moved in with them immediately so that they could help.

Her body was scared and hurt from all the hunts over her life and as a result, pregnancy is a lot harder on her than the average woman. She had been stabbed in her stomach and sides enough that it did some sort of permanent damage and she was more than certain that it was going to be the same with this pregnancy too.

She wasn't even able to tell John, she didn't have a number to contact him. It was too risky, if the wrong person picked up, so all there was was that he had her number and when he'd leave town he'd call from a payphone or a diner to let her know.

She couldn't even let him know when she had gone into labor. She had birthed Dean with her mom in the room gripping her hand tightly and it was only two days later that John called that she was able to tell him.

He immediately came to the hospital, almost in tears and sobs that he had missed it, hugging her so tightly that it hurt.

She glanced at Dean who was staring out the window, just slowly eating his apple pieces, legs swinging.

John...as much as she loved him and as much as she knew he loved her...he was an uncertainty. He was an enigma that in all honesty, she couldn't depend on.

And that hurt, it hurt her to the core, more so than she could ever imagine something hurting. Even the pain of childbirth was minuscule compared to this.

Rubbing at her chest she brought her hand up and bit at her thumbnail, she was terrified about what to do, or what could she do? What were her options and quite frankly? Her time was running out to make a choice.

She couldn't help but look at the number on the refrigerator again, shifting in place.

It would just be a phone call...maybe not even five minutes long. It couldn't hurt, just to see her other options, just to figure out what she could and couldn't do.

She hasn't been this nervous in a very long time.

Taking a deep breath and rubbing at her stomach she picked the number and took the phone off of the wall. Making sure that Dean was still entranced by whatever was happening outside she quickly dialed the number, entangling her fingers into the phones wires as it rang.

"Hello?"

Her heart skipped a beat and she continued on before she could lose her nerves. "Hi, Bobby Singer? This is Mary Campbell, my dad told me about you."

**I do not own Supernatural. **

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	8. Chapter 8

Meeting for lunch at a diner didn't mean that it was a date.

She kept repeating that to herself, if she said it enough times she was sure that it would come true and she'd believe it.

Fighting the urge to pace outside of the diner Mary settled for fidgeting, putting at her fingers and picking at the skin around her nails.

It didn't make sense that she was nervous like this, it wasn't a date. It was just two grown adults meeting with one another and just...talking. Talking over lunch. Nothing had to happen and nothing had to come out of it.

It didn't help the pit in her stomach and it didn't help the tightness in her chest.

She knew that it was completely stupid but at the same time...it almost felt like cheating. Like she was cheating on John and that made no sense. They're weren't together like that, they weren't exclusive and neither had a claim to the other.

This wasn't cheating.

It wasn't.

Mary rubbed at her lower back, biting back a groan at the pain that was giving a dull throb and spreading. She wasn't sure if it was regular pain or pregnancy pain but either way, it meant she had to relax and stop panicking like she was now.

"Mary?" an almost hopeful voice called out to her, getting her attention immediately.

Mary turned, swallowing hard, at the sight of who could only be Bobby Singer. He was looking at her, a small smile tugging at his lips, holding a small bouquet of flowers in his hands.

"Hi, Bobby." Mary said, managing a smile of her own. She blinked when Bobby suddenly all but thrust the flowers into her hands. "Oh, thank you."

"You're welcome." Bobby said, nodding, smiling nervously. "I wasn't sure if you liked flowers but I figured, better safe than sorry."

They entered the diner and she slid into her seat, putting the flowers next to her, glancing at Bobby. A waitress came over and she ordered a tea, Bobby ordered a coffee, and she hesitated, not entirely sure where to start.

"Samuel told me that you have a son?" Bobby prodded.

Dean. She could talk about Dean. She could talk about Dean for hours. Going to her bag she pulled out her wallet and slid out the picture of Dean she had.

"Yeah, his name is Dean." she said, holding the picture out to him. Dean was grinning widely in the picture, a very photogenic child. "My pride and joy."

Bobby smiled at the picture, a fond look on his face. "Looks like a good child."

"He is, he's just amazing." Mary said with a smile of her own. "Very emphatic, very cuddly, and as you can see, very cute."

"Takes after his mama in that." Bobby said, before he colored slightly. "Sorry, I mean-"

"Its fine." Mary assured him. "Its fine, don't worry."

"Not that I don't think you're not pretty." Bobby said quickly. "You are and I just mean that-"

"Bobby. Stop." Mary said firmly, cutting him off. "Its fine. I promise."

Thankfully the waitress came over with their drinks at that moment, giving her a bit of a reprieve. Thanking her she curled her hands around the mug she wished, not for the first time, that she could have either a real drink or coffee at the least.

Bobby started to talk, what he was talking about she didn't really know, didn't really hear what he was saying. Her mind kept wandering in various directions, one direction did tell her that she should be listening to him, if only out of politeness, but she really and honestly couldn't make herself.

She kept thinking about Dean, he was with her parents who were all too eager to take him off her hands so that she could go out and meet Bobby. She hadn't told Dean, she wasn't sure if he'd understand or if he would say something to someone that she didn't want anyone to know.

And then of course her mind went to John.

Not for the first time, she wondered what he was doing at that moment, wondered what the studies for the men of letters were and how they differed. She knew sometimes they'd request a hunter so that the Letter could have some sort of field experience, more often than not they requested someone from her family, and she couldn't help but wonder if the same would apply to John.

What if John was partnered with a hunter from her family for field experience? It wouldn't be her, she was pregnant and officially out of the hunting game for a while because of that and due to her raising Dean.

Not that there hadn't been nudges and whispers for her to get back to hunting once she had given birth and a few months later. A part of her wanted to get back in the saddle but then she'd look at Dean, never more than a few feet away from her, and all that desire immediately left her. She knew that if something happened to her her parents would take Dean in, raise him, and love him unconditionally.

But they'd also push him into hunting, and the thought of her little baby, the baby boy who teared up when she wanted to squash spiders and plead for their lives so she'd release them outside instead. The thought of him going out with a gun in his hands determined to kill the monsters out there before they killed him...

It made her want to grab him and run away somewhere where there were no monsters, where'd he be in no danger whatsoever.

Mary blinked, realizing that Bobby wasn't saying anything and was actually looking at her, and that based on the look on his face he had been quiet for a while.

"Sorry, I'm sorry." she quickly said, putting a hand on her stomach. "Pregnancy brain, makes my mind just...stop so many times."

Bobby gave her a small hesitant smile and nodded, the waitress coming back with their orders. Mary hadn't even remembered ordering anything but she was staring down at a salad that she wasn't quite sure that she wanted.

She hated salads, just because she's been forcing herself to eat more of it, mainly because of the health benefits for the baby, Staring down at the mess of leaves and goop she looked down at her stomach once more, the bump almost sassing her, and breathed out through her nose, picking the fork up.

"You look like the salad personally offended you." Bobby remarked, picking up his burger. Mary zeroed in on it and debated to ask if she could just smell the meat. Meat, being one of the things she loved but apparently the baby didn't because she would throw up if she ate it.

"It kinda did." Mary told him, ignoring how the goop made her want to shudder as she ate it. "I'm not a fan of them."

"I'm sorry." Bobby said, laughing softly. "So to distract you from the horrendous salad, tell me a bit more about yourself?"

"Actually." Mary glanced at the clock hanging over the diner above the cooks window. "You mind if I make a call real quick? I just want to check on my son."

If Bobby wasn't a fan of it he didn't say anything, just nodded and leaned back in his seat, watching her get out of her seat and go towards the phone booth in the back.

She just...she did need to call Dean and make sure that he was okay.

But she also just needed a moment to herself and gather herself mentally.

**I do not own Supernatural.**

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	9. Chapter 9

Coming back to her apartment Mary closed the door behind her, leaned on it, and slowly slid down to the ground. Wrapping her arms around her legs she buried here face in her knees.

It was a disaster, it was a complete disaster, the whole thing. Bobby, bless him, had tried his best and he didn't deserve her barest attention. But her mind hadn't been there, nor was her heart. She kept thinking about Dean. She kept thinking about John.

Her lower back was killing her. More So than pregnancy with Dean. Thankfully she had an appointment with her doctor in three days.

Forcing herself to stand up her legs were shaking slightly as she went to the kitchen, one hand on the wall for support.

She was so tired and drained. Glancing at her phone her heart skipped a beat when she saw the answering machine light blinking at her.

Grabbing a water bottle she went to lay down on the couch, reaching out to press the play button.

"Hi Mary, its Stephanie, I was wondering if you could cover my shift on Saturday. I need to go to-"

Delete. Mary rolled her eyes, as much as she hated it most likely she was going to take it. She needed the extra money.

"Hello Ms. Campbell, this is Dr. Pilus's office. We need to reschedule your appointment. Please call us at your earliest convenience."

Delete. There went that appointment and she wasn't sure of when she'd be able to go next time.

"Mama it's me! Hi!" "Dean you don't need to shout, she'll hear it." "Meemaw and me-" "And I." "I are making cookies!"

Mary smiled, feeling the stress leave her body. She replayed the message, listening to Deans laughter once more, and then saved it.

As much as they didn't agree with her non-existing relationship they loved Dean to no end. Her dad was a bit miffed at her using her moms name but she promised that the next one would have his.

For that she hoped that this one was going to be a girl.

Rubbing the small bump Mary sipped her water, taking a deep breath and pressing next.

"Mary its me." Mary froze at the voice, her heart beating rapidly.

John.

"I just wanted to let you know that I'm being matched to a hunter. I don't know much but it'll be close enough. Closer to you than to me." he chuckled lowly. "I think this can work in our favor actually, I might be able to sneak away more, see you and Dean."

He let out a small sigh. "God I miss you." he murmured. "I miss you so much, I miss Dean. I wish I could be there with the both of you."

"I'll call you when I know omre. I love you. Please tell Dean I love him too."

Mary was barely aware that her nails were digging into her palms and forced herself to unclench, rubbing at the area. She replayed the message just to listen to his voice one more time and then deleted it.

Sighing Mary stretched out on the couch, staring at the ceiling.

If John was being matched with a hunter, that meant that he was getting close to being a full man of letters.

Meaning that he was getting father and farther away from her and Dean.

And truthfully, there was nothing she could do about it.

Her phone rang and she blinked, not really wanting to answer, but reached out to take the receiver. "Hello?"

"Hello sweetheart, it's me."

"Hi dad." Mary said, turning onto her side, taking care not to tangle herself in the phone cord. "Hows Dean?"

"He's good, asleep now." Samuel said fondly. "Made enough cookies to feed the neighborhood, saved you a small tub."

"Please tell me they're chocolate chip." Mary said with a smile.

"Half are chocolate chip, half are m&m's."

"Yes, he is my child." Mary cheered lightly.

Samuel laughed at that. "So tell me, how did your outing with Singer go?"

Mary sighed, good mood immediately leaving. "I don't think it's going anywhere dad." she told him.

"Maybe you just need to try again?" Samuel suggested, a bit hopeful. "I was a nervous wreck when I first went out with your mother, things got easier over time. Maybe you should try again?"

She just wanted to drop this entirely. "I'll think about it." she said. "Am I picking up Dean or are you dropping him off here?"

"I'll drop him, bring the cookies with me." Samuel said. "And guess what? I got a favor called in."

"A favor for you to get or to give?" Mary asked, entwining her fingers into the cord.

"I'm getting a favor because I'm helping someone out." Samuel said, sounding like he was moving around and gathering things. "One of those men of letters contacted me actually, guess it's time for their next initiation."

Mary felt her throat tighten and she sipped on her water to loosen it. "Uh huh."

"And as you know for some strange reason they want them to hunt so they usually call me up to have them partnered off." Samuel continued, that part wasn't new, they were semi infamous in the hunters circles, the longest known family there was. "But then I got a call directly from one of the fathers, a high ranking one, asking for a personal favor."

"Who?"

"Henry Winchester, he has a son named John, remember?" Samuel continued on before she could even make a sound. "He asked that I personally mentor the kid, something about legacies on both sides helping each other out. Said he'd owe me for it, not sure what to ask for but it'll be something good from that bunker of theirs."

To her amazement and credit, her composure didn't shake as she asked her dad, "So you're going to be mentoring...John Winchester?"

"John Winchester of the direct Winchester line." Samuel confirmed. "I think it'll be interesting to see the kid actually work."

**I do not own Supernatural. **

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**I do take requests so if you have requests you can send them to me.**


	10. Chapter 10

She was not going to freak out, she was going to remain calm, cool, and collected for the entire time. There was going to be no freaking out and no accidental telling of the truths or anything else similar to that so far into the endgame.

She was sure that if she kept repeating that then, eventually, it was going to come true.

Her hand went to the tub of cookies and took another one, no longer counting to make sure how many she already had. It didn't matter, it was all for the baby at this point, all the nutrients of cookies went straight to baby Campbell.

She was starting to feel a bit sick actually and she stared longingly at the cookie, they were really good, but set it to the side to be eaten later.

She wasn't sure what to think about her dad being the one that was going to be mentoring John, was it a giant coincidence that meant nothing? Or was it a message from the universe that something was to be done between the both of them?

The universe can stay out of their lives and business thank you very much, she had enough on her plate than needing to deal with this as well.

Sighing Mary moved until she could half lay on the table, just staring at nothing with her head on her arms.

This was going to be the hardest on Dean. She wasn't going to be able to keep him away from her parents, not when she still needed their help with a lot of things, and seeing John there? It was going to confuse the hell out of him.

To him it was a game, don't tell anyone about daddy. Don't let them know that you see him sometimes. Don't tell people his name or that mommy talks to him.

There's no end time of the game, no expiration date. They were going to do this for as long as they could and Dean, bless him, didn't ask questions. He enjoyed playing games and had no problem following the rules they set for him.

But things were going to get confusing for him really fast now. John was going to be there but the same rules were still in effect, he couldn't acknowledge him as daddy. He couldn't call him dad or anything else. Couldn't really talk to him or even be able to give a hint.

It was going to hurt him, she already knew that, and any pain he felt, she felt ten times more in her heart.

A pain went through her lower back and she grimaced, rubbing her knuckles into that area to try to lessen it. Her mind went to her cancelled appointment, trying to figure out when she'd be able to go the next time.

It would be too suspicious if she tried to stay away from her parents and John, so that meant getting up and leaving town for a few weeks with Dean was out of the question.

Being pregnant meant she couldn't use the excuse of a hunt, especially not with Dean.

Though some cousins might've been happy about that, some fanatical family members believed in exposing their children to the hunting life as soon as possible.

She had the opposite plan, keeping the hunting life as far away as possible from Dean for as long as she could.

She had no idea how to explain this to Dean, that John was going to be a slightly bigger part in their lives but he wasn't allowed to say or do anything about it.

But it would still be nice to see him, maybe she'd even be able to pretend that they were actually together and not quiet about it. That her family had accepted it and they were allowed to be together.

And it would be a lot easier for them to sneak around, she'd even be able to maybe convince her dad that she could teach him the books part and he could be in charge of actually taking him out onto the field.

Maybe he'd even be able to come to her apartment and then the three of them wouldn't have to pretend anything about not knowing each other and be a faux-family of sorts.

She smiled at that, lost in the dream of what could be before the reality made the smile fall once more.

John was going to become a full fledged man of letters soon, sooner rather than later. It might even be before their second child was born at this rate.

Which means that most likely he wasn't going to be able to be there when the baby is going to be born. He wasn't there when Dean was born and she had made her peace that the chance he wouldn't be there again.

It didn't matter, because at the end of the day, despite how much they wanted it, John wasn't here. He wasn't a part of their lives as much as the both of them would've liked him to be.

It was her. It was Dean. It was baby Campbell. And sometimes it was her parents. At the end of the day, that's who it was, that was her family.

The Campbells, the hunters of the community, the family.

They were going to be okay, no matter what.

They were going to be okay.

**I do not own Supernatural. **

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**I do take requests so if you have requests you can send them to me.**


	11. Chapter 11

Samuel sighed as he rubbed at his eyes, he was tired and it was well past midnight. Tomorrow morning he was going to meet with Henry Winchester and his son John to bring him to his home and teach him in less than a month how to properly be a hunter.

He never understood this part of the letters trainings, you either were a hunter or you weren't, there was no in between. They had their side, the letters had theirs, there wasn't really a point in crossing over between the two of them.

He knew that across the ocean the British division of the men of letters worked with hunters, in a weird almost mind controlling kind of way, but here in America, it just wasn't done.

But it was going to work in their favor, having the letters, and a high ranking one like Winchester, owe him a favor meant good things for them.

And he knew exactly what he wanted from that favor.

He just needed to figure out a way to bring it to his family's attention without one of the girls picking up a rifle and ensuring that Dean was the only last hope to continue the male Campbell line.

Or at the very least Mary would refuse to name the second child after him, she had promised him that and he wanted his little namesake to keep that name.

"You really should go to sleep." came Deanna's voice. She handed him a glass of water in one hand and a few pills in the other. He accepted both with a nod of thanks, throwing the pills in and swallowing them with a single sip of water.

The pills worried Mary at some point but now she had accepted them. He wasn't as young anymore, and hopefully he had more than a couple decades left, but hunting also didn't give a good lifestyle for his health, leading to the pills.

"Yeah I should." Samuel agreed, reaching up to take her hand in his. "And so should you."

Deanna shot him a slightly mischievous look that reminded him of Mary. "You know I can't sleep in the bed without you." she teased. "What's on your mind?"

"What's always on my mind, Mary." Samuel sighed, both of them slowly going towards their room. "I'm worried sick about her."

"Me too. But she's stubborn and she doesn't want help, she wants to do everything herself." Deanna said softly, looking at their nightstand where a picture of Mary and Dean were, softening slightly. "Even when we're more than willing to help her."

"Yeah." Samuel said softly, squeezing her hand before he let go so he could change into his sleeping clothes. "But...I have an idea." he narrowed his eyes when he saw his wife's face at that. "Oh stop that, I have a good ideas."

"Sometimes." Deanna agreed good naturedly. "But pray tell husband dearest, what is your grand idea now?"

Samuel resisted the urge to throw a pillow at her, they were too old for such shenanigans now but at the same time...it was slightly tempting. "It's...a bit roundabout of a way to help," he admitted. "But do you remember John Winchester?"

"Not that much, just that he's Henry's son and in training to be initiated." Deanna said with a shrug, sitting on the edge of the bed. "What about him?"

"Well, he's a handsome man and from what Henry has told me very bright." Samuel said, trying to choose his words carefully. "And despite what they think as teenagers anyone could see that Mary and John were flirting with one another."

"They both thought they were so discreet." Deanna mused fondly, a smile on her face.

"So that means that they liked each other enough to flirt." Samuel continued, nodding. "And from what I've heard, he's not seeing anyone at the moment."

Deanna suddenly looked guarded, staring at him. "Where are you going with this?"

Samuel took a deep breath and decided to just take the plunge. "I'm going to ask Henry to arrange for his son to try to court or whatever it is they do with Mary."

Deanna was silent for a few moments. "I'm sure that Henry just thought you were going to ask for entry into their bunker." she finally said.

"This does give us a roundabout way to get into the bunker, they allow spouses and of course children into there." Samuel agreed, laying down on the bed and turning onto his side to look at her. "But mainly, it gives Mary the possibility of a secure husband, help, and Dean a father figure in the slightest."

"I thought you were planning to be Dean's father figure." Deanna said raising an eyebrow at him, pressing into the pillow as she stared at him. "A marriage between our little girl and a man of letters."

"We both know that Mary doesn't want Dean to hunt." Samuel said with a sigh. "This way he'll be safe and protected but not out completely. Not our bloodline."

His wife rolled her eyes at that. "Now you just sound like the letters." she told him, contemplating a few things. "How do you think Marys going to react?"

"Probably the same way she reacted to when I was trying to get her to go with Bobby Singer." Samuel said. "Which I'm surprised she went on a date at all."

"Me too." Deanna sighed, shaking her head and turning onto her back. "Henry might say no."

"So he'll say no, it's the worst he can do." Samuel said with a shrug, turning his light off. "It's just something to consider, before I die, I want to know that my little girl and the little ones are taken care of. The letters are shoddy but they have money, protection, and safety."

Deanna hummed at that, moving closer to him in the dark. "When are you going to bring this up?"

"I want to see John first, get a reading on his character. He might be a piece of shit and then I'll ask for something else from Henry." Samuel said, reaching out to wrap his arms around her. "After that I'll wait until after he's gone back to the letters to call Henry."

"Mary's situation kinda...works against her here." Deanna said, choosing her words carefully. "She's an unmarried woman with a child and pregnant with a second child, "

"At the very least, it's something to possibly consider."

**I do not own Supernatural. **

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**I do take requests so if you have requests you can send them to me.**


	12. Chapter 12

The very thought that John was in her parents house at this exact moment was almost too much to bear.

She glanced at Dean who was fidgeting, he looked up and caught her eyes, giving her a wide smile. She couldn't help but smile back at him, reaching to take his hand in hers.

"You still remember the rules, right buddy?" Mary asked, her voice soft and heart twisting at Deans nod.

"Yep!" Dean said. "We're gonna see daddy but we can't let people know that it's daddy." his nose scrunched up slightly. "Mama? Why are we playing the game?"

"Cause for now...we just need to." Mary told him, feeling her chest tighten at the look at his face.

"So I can't...cuddle daddy?" Dean asked, looking up at her hopefully. "Or...even say daddy?"

"I'm sorry baby, you can't." Mary said, kneeling in front of him so that she could stroke back his hair. "I'm sorry, but not now."

"Cause o'the game." Dean mumbled, reaching up to grip at her hand. "I don't wanna play anymore."

"We have to." Mary told him, reaching out to hug him. He clung to her tightly and she savored it for a moment before pulling back. "You ready?"

Dean looked worried but nodded, holding onto his stuffed kitty tightly. "Kay." he whispered.

Mary nodded and picked him up, taking him to the car and carefully putting him into his car seat. She was procrastinating it as much as she could but eventually, they were on the road and even with obeying every single traffic light, sign, and letting every single pedestrian cross first, they were already there.

Mary stared up at her parents house and took one more deep breath, turning to look at Dean in the backseat. "Can you do this Dean?"

Dean nodded again, his hand coming up and his thumb sliding into his mouth. It was something she should break but at this time, she really couldn't give a damn about it. She picked Dean up and slowly went to the house, unlocking it with her key, and coming inside.

"Mary?" her dad called out, coming to greet her with a small smile. "Hey, there you are." he quickly kissed her cheek and ruffled Deans hair. "I was wondering when you'd come, so c'mon, John Winchester is here."

She felt Deans little intake of breath at that and held him closer to her, rubbing his back as she followed her dad into the living room.

And there he was, John Winchester sitting in her parents' house on the couch, looking up to meet her eyes. There was a quick flash of emotion and pain in his eyes that faded just as fast. He stood up, he was wearing a suit; all the letters wore suits, and he came to her.

Dean was shaking in her arms and she moved him, tucking him under her chin and letting him curl into her.

"Mr. Winchester." she managed to get out, nodding at him. She wasn't sure about the tone of her voice, she cleared it a few times. "Pleasure to meet you."

John nodded at her, he had started to hold his hand out but stopped when she didn't extend hers or move it away from Dean. "Pleasure to meet you Ms. Campbell." he said, his voice surprisingly even. "And this must be Dean," she felt Dean flinch at his name. "Samuel has told me quite a bit about the both of you."

"I'm proud and I'm a bragger, my two, almost three," Samuel nodded at her stomach. "Lights of my life."

John nodded, looking away and clearing his throat. Mary focused on her dad, watching John from the corner of her eyes, she couldn't help it. His hands were shaking too and he was just looking away from all of them, needing a moment, most likely to compose himself.

"Give Dean to me Mary, you shouldn't be carrying him around." Samuel said, sliding his hands along hers to take Dean. Dean tightened his grip, even giving a small whimper and Samuel became concerned. "Dean? What's wrong?"

"He's just shy dad. Being around new people makes him nervous." Mary said, the lie flowing effortlessly off of her tongue. "It's okay sweetie." she whispered to him. "Want to go to pawpaw?"

Dean brought his head up and looked at her, she managed a small smile at him, kissing his forehead. "Up to you sweetie."

Dean chewed on his lower lip but slowly let go of her, letting Samuel take him away from her, and moving to curl up against his chest instead, clinging hard to his kitty and staring at the ground.

She heard a sharp intake of breath behind her and turned to see her mom, staring at John and Dean, eyes going from one to the other.

Her stomach dropped to the ground and her hands were suddenly shaking. She really didn't like the look on her moms face at that moment.

Finally her mom looked at her, taking a moment to compose herself, and smiled at her. "Mary dear." she said, her voice slightly off. "You mind helping me in the other room for a moment?"

She couldn't say no, that was too suspicious, so she nodded stiffly and forced her legs to move, following her mother to the kitchen.

Deanna closed the door behind them, giving them some sort of privacy, and went to the counter, taking out a few bowls from the cabinets, not saying anything.

Mary felt like she was five years old again, in trouble and waiting for her parents to lecture and punish her. She fidgeted in place, fingers pulling at each other.

"Mom?" Mary asked, breaking the silence. She didn't want to talk about it but she needed to get this done with.

"I made enough vegetable soup for everyone and for you to be able to talk back." Deanna said, going to the stove and slowly pouring soup into the bowls one at a time. "I know you don't like vegetables but it's for the baby so I know you'll eat it."

Mary swallowed and nodded, shaking slightly as she stared up at her mom. She took a deep breath, trying to steady herself. "Mom?"

"I also made a couple other things for you to take, and let me know when you're going to the doctor again, I want to come with you." Deanna continued. "Are you still in pain?"

The pain had dulled slightly over the day but it made a pang went through her at the reminder. "Yeah, my lower back." Mary told her. "Mom?"

"I'll look through my old pregnancy books if there's anything about that in them. It's a bit worrying." Deanna continued, putting the bowls on a tray with spoons. "Mind grabbing the bread?"

Mary breathed out slowly and went to the other counter where Deanna had been baking the bread, grabbing at it and remembering to do it gently and not crush it. She brought it to the soups and set it down, turning towards her mom. "Mom, please."

She stopped when Deanna wrapped her arms around her, holding her daughter tightly and close. Mary froze, she wasn't sure what to expect but this wasn't it, but slowly relaxed into her mom's arms, bringing hers up to hug her as well.

Deanna rubbed at her back, holding onto her for another moment. Mary blinked back tears as she clung to her, burying her face in her shoulder, feeling very much like a child again.

All too soon Deanna pulled back enough to press a kiss to Mary's forehead before pressing hard against her as well.

"It's okay." Deanna said softly, the both of them just looking at one another. "It's okay sweetie, it's okay."

Swallowing hard Mary nodded, taking in a great shuddering breath. Deanna's hands came up to cup at her face, thumbs brushing against her cheeks with a kind smile.

"Mommy?" Mary whispered, voice breaking as she clung tight to her.

"It's okay." Deanna repeated, kissing her forehead once more. "It's okay Mary, it's all okay."

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	13. Chapter 13

Having someone else, an actual adult, know the truth and their secret was almost like a breath of fresh air and relief, that someone else in on it and she could confide in someone else. Get some advice, or just talk to the other person about it.

That being said.

The fact that it was her mother was something that made her a lot more nervous than she should be.

Dean came back to her side almost the moment she came back to the living room. He was overwhelmed and he couldn't really handle everything so she excused the both of them to eat in the kitchen instead of the living room, giving them some sort of privacy.

Rubbing at his back Mary slowly fed him the vegetable soup having a bite herself here and there, it was better than she expected, as he clung to her, not saying anything.

"You alright baby?" Mary asked, moving back enough that he could look up at her.

Dean rubbed the side of his head. "Head hurts." he mumbled. "I wanna...I wanna go to daddy."

"I know, I want to too." Mary said softly. "But we can't baby, remember? We're playing the game that says we can't."

"I don't wanna play anymore." Dean whispered, moving to curl into her chest again, his hand settling on top of the bump on her stomach. "I don't wanna play."

Mary closed her eyes and just held onto him. "I don't wanna play too." she whispered, her voice soft. "But we need to, for daddy."

Dean whimpered and curled more into her, just holding onto her. She could feel him shaking slightly and from how damp her shirt was getting he was crying too.

Mary felt her heart twist hard enough that she had to bite back a small gasp of pain at that. Swallowing hard she stood up, holding Dean close to her, and went back to the living room. Her parents and John looked up at her and she held Dean protectively.

"I'm going to take Dean home." she said softly. "I think he's just overwhelmed right now and we're going to go."

She didn't bother to say anything else or wait for them to say goodbye, quickly leaving her parents house and taking a deep breath once they were outside. Dean didn't want to let go of her and quite frankly, neither did she. Driving carefully she managed to get them home, driving with one hand and the other holding Dean.

Once they were home, Mary just went straight to the couch, laying down and curling around Dean as well, just holding onto him.

This wasn't fair, this wasn't fair to Dean and he didn't deserve this. It was painful for them too but that didn't matter, Dean didn't ask for any of this and he had no idea how to deal with it. He shouldn't have to go through this, he shouldn't have gotten caught up in their shit like this, not understanding anything and suffering for it.

She wasn't sure when but she was crying then, crying and just holding onto her son. Dimly she became aware of a small hand on her cheek and she looked down at him. There were dried tear tracks on his face as he looked up at her and leaned up, kissing her cheek.

"Love you mama." he whispered, curling into her once more.

A choked sound escaped her and she just held onto him. "I love you too baby." she whispered. Taking a deep breath the both of them held onto one another on the couch, she wasn't sure how long they stayed like that but it had to be long enough that eventually, their stomachs growled once more.

That and when she sat up her back arched and cracked, making her groan as her body worked out the kinks of staying in such a position for so long.

Dimly she tried to remember what else she had in the refrigerator that she could just throw together quickly and with no effort. Even though she had looked into it in the morning it already felt like days ago and she couldn't even remember what her kitchen looked like, let alone remember what food she had in it.

She gave a small groan when she heard someone knocking at her door, looking down at Dean who seemed to be caught between somewhere of being tired and almost asleep along with being hungry enough that he wanted to stay awake. He looked up at her and rubbed at his eyes, leaning against her.

Moving slowly she went to her door, no longer caring enough to look into the peephole to see who was there. Words on the tip of her tongue disappeared the moment she opened the door, eyes widening and a sudden shot of adrenaline going through her.

Because John was standing right there in front of her.

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	14. Chapter 14

Mary didn't even think about checking the hallway to make sure that they were alone, she just reached for him with one arm, wrapping it around him tightly.

John did the same, wrapping his arms around the both of them and holding them close, a choked sound escaping him. "I'm sorry, I'm sorry." he whispered to them, tightening his grip.

She felt Dean squirm a bit in her arm, a confused sound escaping him as he tried to figure out what to do. "Mama?" he whispered, tugging at her, rubbing at his eyes once more.

Mary turned to him and smiled. "It's okay now, we're not playing the game here." she told him. His relief was almost palpable as he turned back to John and immediately clung to him.

"Daddy." Dean got out, voice shaking as he started to cry again, clinging to him now. "Daddy."

"It's okay, it's okay buddy." John whispered, holding Dean close to him, reaching for Mary as well. She didn't try to resist it, she didn't want to.

She did tug them into her apartment however, just to give them some sort of privacy. John paused to grab a bag off of the ground that she hadn't noticed before, but then quickly followed them inside.

Closing the door tightly Mary quickly moved to join John and Dean once more, not wanting to let go. And based on how tightly Dean was holding onto him, he felt the same.

"What are you doing here?" Mary couldn't help but ask, pressing into him and just holding him. "How did you even…?"

John moved enough to lift the bag once more, setting it on the ground. "Your mother, she asked me to bring you a few things." he said. Mary immediately felt a warmth course through her chest at the thought. "She said you left so fast that she didn't have time and asked me to bring it to you."

Mary almost felt like laughing from the emotions coursing through her, the disbelief, the utter sheer incredibility of the whole thing.

But most of all, that John was here. Here in her apartment with her and Dean and in the end? Nothing else mattered, at least not for now.

The three of them curled up on the couch, both Mary and Dean were all but laying on top of Johns chest and legs to fit them all.

"I knew that it was going to be hard." Mary whispered, reaching out to entwin their fingers together on top of Deans back. The stress and emotions of the day had finally caught up with him and he had fallen asleep, laying on top of them. "I didn't think it would be this hard."

"Me too, I thought that we'd just be able to see each other a lot easier. Not have to deal with the secrecy as much." John whispered. "But today...it was torture. I just wanted to go to you, to Dean. I don't know how we managed."

"Barely. We managed barely." Mary said, curling more into him. "And Dean took it the hardest."

"He doesn't get it, it's not fair to him." John said. She felt him take a deep breath. "I want to leave the men of letters."

Mary's eyes widened and her heart stopped for a moment. "We've talked about this, you can't just leave your family." she reminded him.

"I'm tired of the secrecy Mary, I'm tired of putting the both of you through this." John said, looking down at her so that their eyes could meet. "I want to come home to you and Dean, I want to be a part of your lives."

"We want that too." Mary said softly. "But you can't just leave your family John, you're a legacy, like me. It's not so simple to just...leave."

"They'll have to understand." John said simply. "You two, three, are my family too. I want to be here with you, I need to be here with you."

"You're in the last stages of your initiation, you are not throwing away years worth of training and learning." Mary told him. "I'm not going to let you."

John looked like he wanted to continue arguing about it but sighed, pulling her and Dean closer to him. "Mary, I don't know what's going to happen once this is over."

"I don't either." Mary said, bringing her head and turning it to put it on his chest, just listening to his heartbeat. "So for now...let's just enjoy this. For as long as we can."

**I do not own Supernatural. **

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	15. Chapter 15

"You know, the more I think about it the more I'm sure that asking Henry for our children to court, date, whatever, is the best idea." Samuel said, smiling and nodding.

Deanna bit back a smile as she put the dishes away, taking them from Samuel as he dried them. "What makes you say that?"

"Well I remember them being teenagers, flirting like no tomorrow, not caring that their parents were literal inches away from them." Samuel said, shaking the cloth out slightly. "And now here we were! They could barely look at each other without blushing! They could barely maintain eye contact with one another!"

"So you think that that means they like each other?" Deanna asked, closing the cabinet and turning to look at him, leaning back against the counter.

"I think it means that those teenage hormonal instincts have faded into a possibility of real grown up feelings." Samuel confirmed, folding the cloth and putting it to the side. "They've both matured and moved on from simple romping in the hay and sowing of oats. They're both of age to find someone and settle down with."

"Marys already got two kids." Deanna reminded him. "One on the way at least. The Letters like to have their legacy and bloodline continued."

"If you don't think they have a spell in there to make Dean or baby Samuel a Winchester by blood then you don't know the Letters." Samuel said, wagging his finger at her. Deanna raised an eyebrow at the motion and he quickly brought it down. "Or Mary will have to have a third child."

"That's a lot of stress to put on a woman's body." Deanna told him, rolling her eyes as she went into the living room, Samuel following her. "And stop calling the baby Samuel, it sounds weird."

"Mary promised me that she'd name the next one after me." Samuel said with a small sniff. "I'm her father, it's only right."

"Keep telling yourself that." Deanna comforted him, patting his arm. She turned the television on and sat down, watching the news. "And besides, for all we know, they're at her apartment right now and Deans helping her dig a hole to bury him in."

"No, no. I don't think so." Samuel said, sitting next to her and taking her hand in his as the news anchor spoke. "Didn't you see his face when you asked him to take some food to her? He ran out of here so fast he almost forgot the food."

"He also forgot to ask how to get to her apartment." Deanna said with a smile. "You had to call him back."

Samuel nodded, smiling at the thought. "If anything I do believe that he likes her." he said confidently. "Now we just need to get Mary on board and I'll make the call to Henry."

"Not just Mary, Dean." Deanna reminded him. "The poor boy was so shy, he could barely look at John. He needs to like him too."

"He's a shy boy, he just needs to have a chance to get to know John." Samuel said. "Which makes me think, maybe we should be sending John over to her place more."

Deanna raised an eyebrow at that. "Oh?"

Samuel nodded, another idea coming to him with a smile. "Right now what John and I are doing is simple knowledge, make sure he actually knows his stuff before I take him on a few hunts. Mary can't do the hunting right now but...she can do the knowledge based part." his smile widened and he turned to look at her.

"So this way, he can go to her place when she has the time off from work and they'll work together. Dean will be there as well so they'll be able to be in the same location and figure out if they complement one another." he continued. "Dean will get used to him, Mary can speak with him, he'll speak with Mary."

"Lots of speaking happening." Deanna said dryly. "What exactly are they 'speaking' about at this point?"

"I don't know, I can't be the mastermind behind all of this in every step. As much as I would like to be." Samuel said. "Look, I want this to work, do you want this to work?" he waited for Deanna to nod before he continued. "So we just need to help them get into situations alone where they can just be themselves and we'll see what happens. Agreed?"

Deanna bit back another knowing smile, just humming slightly in agreement. Leaning back against the couch she moved to put her head on Samuels shoulder, the two of them watching the news together.

**I do not own Supernatural. **

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**I do take requests so if you have requests you can send them to me.**


	16. Chapter 16

Mary gave a groan as John dug his thumbs into her lower back, carefully massaging the pain and knots out. "You have no idea how good that feels right now." she said, barely biting back a whimper.

She heard and felt John chuckle and he kept massaging around the area, his hands easily wrapping around her hip even with the growing bump. "I can bet, you feel like you're about to explode from here."

"Actually I feel like I was two days away from cracking." Mary told him, looking over shoulder at him with a smile. "it's a lot harder than it was with Dean, I'll say that."

Johns face softened at that and he reached up to cup her cheek, leaning in to kiss her gently. Mary smiled into the kiss and turned towards him to kiss him properly, wrapping her arms around him. Moving closer to him she climbed halfway onto his lap, tilting her head to deepen the kiss and-

"Daddy, daddy!" Deans excited voice broke through and made them break apart. They looked as Dean came into the room, half dragging half carrying his box of cookies that he had made the other day. "I made cookies with meemaw!"

The both of them shared an amused look, Mary biting back a laugh as she carefully climbed off of his lap, reaching for Dean and helping him bring the cookies. "Alright Baker Dean, lets share the cookies with daddy."

John smiled at the both of them and reached into the box for a cookie, taking one out and taking a bite, giving a small appreciative sound. "They're really good buddy." he said, reaching out to ruffle Deans hair.

Dean brightened and he moved across the bed so that he could curl up in Johns lap and against his chest. "We really missed you daddy." he said, clinging to him. "Are we done playing the game now?"

Mary and John shared a look at that and the bite that Mary had taken got stuck in her throat for a moment. "Not yet baby." she said, swallowing hard, coughing once to get it freed. "Games not over yet."

Dean gave a small distressed noise. "But I don't wanna play anymore." he whispered, voice breaking already.

"I know, I know buddy." John said, holding Dean close to him. "And you're doing really good, we're proud of you."

"We're so proud, you're doing really good." Mary told him, taking his small hand in hers. "We love you Dean, we love you so much."

Dean whimpered and closed his eyes tightly, holding onto Johns shirt and Mary's hand. "I want daddy to stay." he mumbled.

Mary thought back to the phone call her mom had given her a half hour ago. "Well daddy is going to be coming over here every day and when it's just you, me, and daddy, we don't have to play the game."

Dean opened one eye to look at her, still clinging to the both of them. "Really?"

"Yeah really." John said with another smile, leaning down to kiss the top of Dean's head. "So I'll be here a lot, I'll be here when you wake up until you go to sleep."

"That's all the time!" Dean said, slowly moving to sit up but not letting go. "That's forever!"

"Pretty close to it." Mary agreed. Her back twitched in pain again and she bit back a grimace. She moved the box of cookies away a bit so that she could lay down on the bed, not letting go of Dean. "So we'll be together."

John looked at her worriedly but then did the same, moving Dean with him so that they could all lay down on her bed. "And when mom is working I'll be picking you up from...meemaws." he glanced at Mary to make sure that he was using the right word and relaxed when she nodded. "So I'm gonna be here a lot buddy."

"Forever and ever?" Dean asked, looking up at him hopefully.

Mary and John shared another look, this was just temporary, they both knew that. They got lucky with this much, that he's coming over this much, that they're getting this opportunity.

But it wasn't going to last, he was going to have to go back to the other Letters eventually.

"For now buddy." John said, moving his arm to wrap around her and Dean. "For now."

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	17. Chapter 17

Having John practically living with her was both a dream come true and a nightmare that she needed to face every single day. She loved waking up to finding John in the kitchen having bought them breakfast, either bagels or donuts or breakfast sandwiches. They would eat together and then spend the rest of the day together unless Mary had to go to work. Then it would just be him and Dean spending the day together.

Then she'd come home and John had heated up some of the food that her mom had sent over, they'd talk about the monsters he was supposed to be studying and Dean would talk about their day as well, Mary would talk about the old ladies that clicked their tongues at her when they saw her stomach and ringless finger.

It was everything she'd ever wanted. It was domestic and very family and normal like. It was her, John, Dean, and the bun in her oven. Even the pain in her back lessened every day, mainly due to John massaging it every night before he'd leave to go back to her parents house.

Because he didn't sleep over, they put Dean to bed, sometimes they had sex, sometimes they cuddled, sometimes they just talked. But he always, always, always went back to her parents house to sleep there. He left late at night and came back early in the morning.

And that was the nightmare part. That he was so close and yet still so far away from her. That she couldn't go to sleep with his arms around her and wake up to him sleeping right there. It was a strict reminder of the fact that they weren't really together and they wouldn't be together.

It was a reminder that all too soon this was going to come to an end and then she wasn't sure when she'd see him again.

Mary sighed, hand automatically rubbing at her lower back as she stared at the crib, blanket in hand. She carefully tucked the blanket into the mattress, smoothing it out slowly.

They couldn't avoid this forever, they had to talk about it. She needed to know what was going to happen and she needed to know what to prepare for. Taking a deep breath she cracked her neck from side to side and fluffed the pillow in the crib one more time before she left her room where the crib was for now, going to Deans room where he was with John.

Mary stayed in the doorway, just watching the two of them with a smile. Dean all tucked into bed with his stuffed cat and John on the edge of the bed, reading a story to him in his low voice. Mary closed her eyes to listen to him read, wishing that she had something to record his voice so that they could listen to it when he won't be here.

Her eyes opened as the story ended and Dean had fallen asleep somewhere during the story. John carefully moved off of the bed, stroking over Deans head and leaning down to kiss it, catching her gaze with a smile of his own. Moving as gracefully as he could, he left the room, closing the door behind him.

"Hey." John said softly, hand coming up to cup her cheek and kiss her. She leaned into the touch and kiss. "You alright?"

Mary took a deep breath. "We need to talk." she said. The words automatically made her tense up and John freeze for a moment but then he nodded.

"Okay." he said, nodding once more. He placed his hand on the small of her back and together they went to the kitchen. Mary went to the cabinet to pour him a drink, staring at it longingly before she handed it to him and poured herself some water to drink instead.

"Hate being good about this." she grumbled, looking down at her stomach. "You better be worth it."

"I'm sure they will be." John said, reaching out to touch her stomach before he sipped at his drink. "Okay, what are we talking about?"

"Us." Mary said looking at him. "We need to talk about us and...where we're going."

"How far ahead are we planning to go?" John asked, bringing a chair out for her to sit down on and sitting down at the table.

"As far as we can." Mary said, sitting and rolling the water bottle between her hands. "Specifically, we need to talk about when you become a full fledged Man of Letters...and what that means to us, and especially to Dean."

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	18. Chapter 18

Despite being the one to start the conversation Mary wasn't sure how to continue it. She reached out for John's hand and he took hers, holding onto one another tightly in silence.

"John." Mary finally started, searching for the right words to say. "We started this...all about sex and only sex. We didn't expect...all of this to happen."

"And I'm happy that it did." John said, squeezing her hand. "I'm really happy, I love you Mary. I love Dean."

"And we love you." Mary said, rubbing her thumb against his hand. "The point of what I'm saying is that...we never expected this relationship to progress like it has."

"No, we didn't." John agreed quietly.

"Well...what do the Men of Letters say about one of you guys and a Hunter being together?" Mary asked, looking up at him.

"Honestly...nothing." John said truthfully. "But I think that's mainly because when the rules were being set the Letters were all men and...Hunters were all considered to be men so I don't think they believed that there would be any kind of relationship."

"Sounds sexist as hell." Mary said bluntly, sipping her water. "And rude, definitely rude."

John shrugged, a smile tugging at his lips. "The Letters back in the day weren't the most progressive of sorts." he said. "They're better now. Marginally."

"Marginally." Mary agreed. "There's currently, what, two whole females being initiated right now?"

John looked away, rubbing the back of his neck with his free hand. "One." he said quietly. "The other one was...encouraged to leave."

Mary breathed out and shook her head. "Moving on from that." she said, moving her jaw from side to side. "Cause the Men of Letters are still sexist douchebags but that's not important right now."

Taking a deep breath she continued. "I want to know...where exactly we, this is going." she said, motioning between the both of them. "I want to know so I can prepare. And most of all, so that I can prepare Dean."

John looked pained at that, nodding as he tried to think. "Mary I'm going to be honest, I have no idea." he said truthfully. "I want to say that we're still going to be together but I can't guarantee that. For all I know once I'm initiated I'll be sent to a completely different location."

Mary wrinkled her nose at that. "How many other locations are there?" she couldn't help but ask.

"There's bunkers all over the country, at least fifteen that I know of." John said. "And I could be sent to any off them."

Mary swallowed hard at the thought of John being sent somewhere else, trying to push it out of her head and failing. "How do we explain any of this to Dean?" she asked. "He was already freaking out about you being at my parents and not being able to say anything when they're around. And if you're sent somewhere else." a sharp pain shot through her lower stomach and back and she bit back a wince as best as she could.

"I don't know." John said once more. "I wish I had answers, I wish I knew what to do, but I don't. You're not letting me quit the Letters."

"Because that's your legacy and I'm not letting you leave what you love." Mary reminded him. ""Not even for me."

"But not even for Dean?" John asked her, immediately knowing where to hit. "Not even for the little one?" he nodded at her stomach.

"Low blow, really low blow." Mary told him. "But yes, even then."

John moved to hold onto her hand with both of his, clasping her hand between them. "Tell me what to do." he said. "And I'll do it."

Mary stared at him and moved both of her hands so that she could hold onto his, entwining their fingers together.

"You're going to spend the remainder of your time here." Mary told him. "You're going to be a good dad for Dean. A good boyfriend for me. Then my dad is going to take you on a few hunts as the Letters want and then..." she took a deep breath. "Then you're going to leave back to the bunker where you'll be initiated completely and...most likely...we're not going to see each other for a very, very long time."

"So does that mean once I leave, we're breaking up?" John asked, his voice shaking slightly.

Mary closed her eyes and nodded. "It means we're going to break up." she confirmed.

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	19. Chapter 19

Mary couldn't sleep, she glanced at the clock on her nightstand for what seemed like the millionth time. It was close to four in the morning and she was going to have to get up in three hours to get ready for work and Dean ready for the day.

John was most likely going to be there too, she had given him a key to her apartment to make it easier for the both of them. Grimacing when a sharp pain went through her her hand went to her lower back to try to massage it away, biting hard on her lower lip to stifle any noise that might escape.

She couldn't do this, this was all happening too fast, she can't deal with it. She was going to be twenty four when December comes rolling around in a few months and she couldn't deal with this. Even her mom hadn't been this young when she had her.

And besides that when her mom did have her she had her dad with her, she wasn't doing it alone.

Like she was.

Curling up on her side she wrapped her arms around her stomach, turning her head to bury it into her pillow.

She didn't want to break up with him. She didn't want to leave him. She didn't want to not have a life without him.

But she also had no idea what to do.

Her ears picked up the sound of a key being inserted into a lock and she immediately sat up, hand going to her nightstand to grab her gun. Sliding out of the bed she carefully and quietly padded to her living room, breathing out a sigh of relief when she saw the door open to reveal John.

John paused when he saw her standing there, gun almost aimed at him. He held his hands up, a bag hanging from his wrist. "Just me."

"John, you're early." she said softly, bringing the gun down. She walked the rest of the way to him. "What are you doing here at this time?"

"I couldn't stay away, not when we don't have that much time left together." John told her, putting the bag on the table and hugging her, after she hid the gun into a different place again. "I just...I don't want to be without you."

Mary swallowed the lump in her throat and held onto him tightly, gripping the back of his shirt. "John." she whispered his name, her voice breaking.

"Mary I want to fight, I want to fight for us, I want to stay together. And I know that I can't leave the Men of Letters, but I don't care." John told her, holding her close. "I don't give a damn about anyone but you and our children. I don't care if I get excommunicated from the Letters, I'm going to be with you."

"John you don't know what the Letters will do." Mary told him, moving back to look up at him. "You don't know what kind of spells they have, they can erase your memories of me and Dean completely."

"Let them try, I don't give a damn."John said. "Because even if I get my memories erased, I'll still remember you and I will always find you guys."

"John-" Mary started to say only for John to interrupt her.

"Just tell me the truth, do you think that you and me, whatever we have and everything else is worth fighting for?" John asked, looking her in the eyes. "If you say no then I'm not going to do anything. But if you say yes, then I'm going to fight for it with everything that I have."

She should say no, she should. She shouldn't be playing around like this. None of them knew what the Letters could do to them. Neither of them really knew what secrets they had and according to the whispers they even had ways of brainwashing people to do their bidding.

She should tell John no and end this right here, right now.

She should say no. She has to say no.

"Yes." she whispered. "Yes. It is."

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	20. Chapter 20

Samuel put the phone down, unable to keep his smile on his face as he turned to Deanna who was sitting on the couch, book in hand watching him.

"I'm guessing you got good news?" she asked him, raising an eyebrow.

"The Winchesters have invited us to dinner." Samuel told her, sitting down next to her. "The entire family, as a small thank you for hosting John here."

"Not like we're actually hosting him considering how much time he spends at Marys." Deanna hummed, sipping her tea and putting it back to the side. "When was the last time you actually saw him?"

"I think three days ago when he took the rest of his belongings and went to Marys." Samuel said, shaking his head. "Do they actually think they're being slick or have they given up on trying to hide anything?"

Deanna shrugged, marking her place in the book and setting it next to the tea. "What do you think they're doing over there?"

"Well taking everything into consideration, I don't think anything improper is happening, they were both raised better than that." Samuel mused. "But if he's staying there for so long and in such a way, that means that Dean likes him as well as Mary."

"Which makes your convoluted plan a lot easier." Deanna pointed out. "It all rests on not just John and Mary but John and Dean."

Samuel nodded in agreement. "So everything is going to ride on the dinner, its formal and in two days." he added. "We'll need to make sure that Dean has a little suit and Mary has an appropriate dress."

"Deans going to be overwhelmed." Deanna said, already lost in the thought of her little grandson all dressed up. "And as much as I don't like putting him in a stressful situation, it will be nice to see how John and Mary would work together for that."

"So then here we go, Campbells and Winchesters coming together for dinner. Hunters and Letters, together under the same roof." Smauel said, a touch dramatic. "Deanna, we're going to bring the two parts together."

"They might say no." Deanna pointed out. "Or John and Mary will just want to remain as friends."

Samuel paused at that, considering and letting that thought roll over in his head. "Do you think they are only friends?"

"It's a possibility, the intricate friendship between men and women are something that could happen. Men and women don't need to be dating in order to be together." Deanna said, reaching for her tea and drinking it, wrapping her hands around it on her lap.

Samuel considered that and then shook his head. "No, I've seen them look at one another, I don't think it's friendship brewing there."

Deanna shrugged, drinking her tea and watching him over the rim of her cup. "Whatever you say dear."

"So tomorrow night, after dinner and possibly during dessert, I'll bring up the fact that Henry owes me for personally working with John." Samuel said. "And the favor I'm calling in is for the both of them being able to court with one another, give them a possibility of actually dating one another."

"And if Henry says no?"

"I'll hold John hostage, he lives with Mary at the moment and I just won't let him leave." Samuel said, smiling after a moment. "No, we'll talk with them, find a way to convince them. I think this would be for the better."

"Maybe you should bring this up with Mary before anything?" Deanna suggested. "Before you do anything else?"

Samuel paused at that, realizing that perhaps yes, he should talk to his daughter before pushing her into another relationship. Again.

"I'll call her later tonight." Samuel said. "She's probably busy right now."

**I do not own Supernatural.**

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**Short chapter but the next one things are going to be picked up.**


	21. Chapter 21

"I'm so sorry Mary dear, we didn't know that you had a little boy." Millie apologized for what seemed to be the twentieth time. "If we knew we would've brought you guys somewhere else."

Mary gave them a small smile. "Its fine, don't worry about it. Dean loves trying new things like," she glanced down at the menu. "Broccoli rabe." she barely managed to not make a face, even she didn't want any of that.

She could hear her mom stifling a laugh at that and she glared at her. "Mom." she pressed. "Please."

Deanna winked at her as she sipped her wine. "I think it's a good thing for Dean to experience something new." she said.

If anything else Dean looked downright adorable in a little suit that her parents had gotten him and she smiled at him. He was looking around in wonder with wide eyes, half chewing on his sleeve. He met her eyes and she faded slightly when she saw the panic in his eyes.

Reaching out she wrapped her arms around him and held him on her lap, letting him curl close to her. "He's just not used to being out like this, around so many people." she said, rubbing his back and turning to half glare at her parents. "Maybe if we had a bit more time to prepare it would've been easier."

"I told your dad to let you know before we went." Deanna said, reaching out to stroke at Deans hair. "And before we go doesn't mean an hour before we have to be there."

"I got tied up sending hunts to other hunters and Men of Letter pairings, and as a result I didn't have the time." Samuel told her. "I already apologized."

"When my son needs therapy in the future, I expect you to pay for it." Mary told him, holding Dean closer to her.

"I'm sure he'll be fine." Henry said reassuringly, taking some bread and putting butter on it, handing it to Millie before making one for himself as well. "Kids are a lot stronger than we give them credit for. John for example enjoyed to climb trees and more than once would fall out of them, landing directly on his head."

"We don't need to talk about that." John protested. "C'mon guys, this is supposed to be a nice fancy dinner, we don't need to talk about me busting my head open."

"No this is exactly the time to talk about you busting your head open." Millie denied. "And thank goodness Henry had healing spells up his sleeve, otherwise we'd have a lot to talk about to doctors."

Mary bit back a laugh, glancing at John who tried to keep from smiling but failed when he caught her gaze. Both of them grinned at each other before looking away.

They had talked about this, about needing to let their parents know about them and what it would end up meaning. They just needed to find a way to properly find a way to put it into the conversation and, she glanced around once more, she knew where the closest two exits were and grabbing Dean would mean that it would take them about 2.3 seconds to get out into the parking lot.

She shifted in her seat, holding Dean close to her, when she felt a sharp pain go up her back once more, the pain almost throbbing through her. She gritted her teeth at the pain, reaching for her water and firmly wishing that it was something else.

But not for another sixish months.

She felt something nudge against her foot and she looked up, seeing John look at her in concern. She just smiled reassuringly at him, holding Dean closer to her. She looked at Dean who looked back at her, his lower lip wobbling.

"You okay baby?" Mary whispered to him. In response he just curled more into her again, burying his face in her chest. She rubbed at his back and just held him close.

"So Ms. Campbell, please tell us, I'm curious about Dean." Henry said, smiling at her. He and John had the same smile she noted and it made her both relaxed and tense up. "And is the father in the picture?"

It took everything she had not to look at John and from the corner of her eye she could see him tense up. "He's...it's complicated."

"Well I think it's a very modern and independent act you're doing." Millie assured her. "Not that many people can do it."

"And not to mention that you have a very cute child." Henry added, nodding at Dean. "Makes me think about when John is going to have children of his own. Nothing better than when your children have children of their own."

"I am more than ready to spoil my grandchild." Millie laughed, reaching out to place her hand on John's arm. "Little hint John, we're not getting any younger."

"I can already feel the grey setting into my hair." Henry added, running his fingers through his thick brown hair. "We need grandchildren John."

"And you'll get them eventually." John told them, not looking at anyone. "Can we please talk about something else?"

Mary was about to speak when another shot of pain went through her and she breathed out hard, clearing her throat slightly. "Okay so," she started to say only to wince when another one hit her. "Okay."

"Mary what's wrong?" John asked, halfway out of his seat. Samuel and Deanna already moved to be on either of her.

"Mary is it the pain again?" Deanna asked, reaching out to touch her. Dean mad a soft sound and looked up at her, hands gripping at the fabric of her dress.

"Yeah I don't think...I don't feel good." Mary said, shaking her head and bringing a hand up to her face to wipe away the sudden sweat that erupted. "I'm sorry...I think I need to go home."

"I'll take you." John quickly said, standing up. He grabbed her coat and bag before reached for her. Mary stood up, holding Dean to her as John wrapped his arms around her waist to keep her standing. Winching she had to transfer Dean into Johns arms instead, wrapping her arms around her stomach and the small bump.

Henry stood as well, reached for her hands. "Mary dear, if there's anything we can do, we have a large array of healing spells, please let us know."

Mary smiled at him, certain that it looked as strained as she felt. "Thanks, I just want to get home and lie down. Maybe for a week."

"Mary I had a hard pregnancy with John and I found that tea with honey and a little pinch of lemon juice helped to soothe a lot of aches." Millie told her. "And a heating pad wherever it hurts."

Mary nodded, half leaning against John. "Sounds great, I just want to go. I'm sorry about this."

"Don't worry about it, dinner is something that can be rescheduled." Henry assured her, kissing the back of her hand. "Please take care."

Mary nodded once more and John nodded at his parents as he carefully took her out of the restaurant, leading them towards her car that they had taken. Dimly they could hear him talking to both her and Dean in a reassuring tone.

"They seem close." Millie commented as Henry sat back down, taking her hand in his. "Really close."

"Yes they are, and it's something I'd like to talk to you two about." Samuel said, not seeing Deanna roll her eyes. "And especially the part about being owed a favor."

"Well not like I didn't see this coming, so let's go into it." Henry said. "What do you want Samuel? Some sort of artifact? A twenty four hour allowance into the bunker itself? A better partnership?"

"I want Mary and John to be able to date one another." Samuel said. Deanna nudged at him with her elbow. "So long as they want to."

Henry blinked at that, turning to look at Millie for a moment as they spoke wordlessly.

"You want our children to date?" Henry repeated. "What about the father of Mary's child?"

"Well according to her he's not in the picture." Deanna said. "And even you guys noticed that...there's something between them."

"Have you talked about this with your daughter?" Millie asked. "Is it even something that she would want?"

"We, I-" Samuel corrected himself when Deanna hit him with her elbow again. "I wanted to know if it's something that could be possible before we ask and possibly get her hopes up."

Henry looked at Millie again, rubbing the back of his neck. "Considering everything, considering the two sides. And especially the fact that for what may be the first time direct lines have different gendered children at the same age, this does...create a possibility." he said slowly. "I can't give you an answer right now but...let us talk about it," he gestured to Millie, "and we'll let you know."

"Thank you, and if they decide not to then...I'll take that twenty four hour entry into the bunker for two." Samuel said, laughing softly as the others smiled.

"I'm sorry, are you Mr. Samuel Campbell?" the waiter asked, coming to their table and lightly touching Samuels arm.

Samuel blinked and nodded. "Yes I am." he said. "Is everything alright?"

"You have an important phone call waiting for you and your wife." the waiter told them, giving them a moment to stand up and follow him to the side of the restaurant where the phones were.

Deanna and Samuel looked at one another and hurried, reaching the phone quickly. Samuel grabbed the receiver, bringing it up. "Hello?" he demanded.

"Mr. Campbell? My name is Dr. Feldman, you're listed as an emergency contact for Mary Campbell. She's been admitting into the hospital for a possible miscarriage."

**I do not own Supernatural. **

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	22. Chapter 22

Mary stared up at the ceiling, breathing heavily as she tried to calm down. There was an iv in her arm and more machines than she felt comfortable were attached to her. Some were for her, some were for her stomach listening intensely to the baby in her.

It had all happened so fast, too fast. They had just left the restaurant and the pain had gotten worse, more so than it had in the past. It felt like her entire body was being crushed and she couldn't breathe, Dean was panicking in the backseat and John had pulled them to the side of the road to look her over.

And that's when they saw the blood. Coming from between her legs and pulsating, staining the seat, her clothes, and the floor.

After that everything else became a blur, John had gotten back onto the road, driving as fast as he could to the hospital as Dean cried in the backseat and Mary was lost in the pain. She couldn't really remember what happened after that, it was all a mess of doctors and different rooms until finally she just lost consciousness.

Waking up was horrifying, the panic, the pain she was still in her hands moving fast to grope at her stomach and almost sobbing in relief when she still felt the bump was a bigger relief than whatever medications they were pumping into her.

Which apparently they weren't pumping any kind of medications into her other than a steady drip of folic acid. She was in a delicate situation, what with her body going through a possible miscarriage, and as a result anything could push her over the edge and cause her body to complete the miscarriage.

Her hands kept going to her stomach, stroking reassuringly at the small bump that was there.

There was no answer as to why she almost had a miscarriage, the doctors have said multiple times that there is no one answer. It could've been stress, it could've been her body's reaction to something that had happened in the past, it could've been nothing at all. Miscarriages just happen sometimes and there is no real way of stopping it.

It either happened or it didn't and it was up to her body to decide which way to take.

And that was a terrifying thought.

Swallowing hard Mary turned her head to see John coming into her room, holding onto Dean. Dean was asleep, eyes puffy and red, clinging hard to John.

She didn't even dare to sit up, she had no idea what to do to deal with this, but she did lift her hand towards them. John immediately crossed the room, taking her hand in his tightly. He blinked rapidly and cleared his throat, a hint of tears in his eyes.

"Hey." he whispered, his voice rough. "How are you feeling?"

"Tired." Mary said quietly, and it was the truth, she was downright exhausted but at the same time, she didn't want to go to sleep. "How's Dean?"

"Drained, scared crapless." John said, carefully putting Dean on the bed with her in the crook of her arm. They moved together to not disrupt the wires and ivs in her so that she could wrap her arms around him and held him close. "He just kept crying, I think he cried himself out and just...fell asleep."

Mary nodded, holding him as close as she could. "My parents?"

"Not here yet, I think the doctor just called them a few minutes ago." John said, holding her hand in between both of his. "They wanted to stabilize you first." he breathed out and bowed slightly, pressing his forehead against their hands. "Did they say anything about what to do?"

"Just wait and see for now." Mary said, closing her eyes and taking a deep breath. "They said that it either happens or it doesn't. If we make it through then they'll tell me what else to do."

She felt John nod and he let one hand go, she heard him dragging something to them, and when she opened her eyes he was sitting by her bed, taking her hand again.

"My parents know healing spells, maybe they'll know something that could help," he said. "And I'm here Mary, I'm not going anywhere."

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	23. Chapter 23

There was some sort of commotion happening outside in the hallway and Mary had the feeling that it was her parents. She shot a pleading look at John who immediately stood up and left the room, closing the door behind him.

Through the door she could hear him talking to someone but she couldn't make out what was being said. She shifted slightly in the bed and held Dean closer to her, focusing on her breathing and remaining calm. She had to remain calm, she couldn't let the stress get to her again and as a result, hurt her baby.

After what felt like an eternity the door opened and she tiredly looked over, feeling like crying when she saw her parents coming in and staring at her. A choked sound escaped her and she felt like a child again, she was hurt and in pain and all she wanted was her parents with her to comfort her.

Deanna actively shoved Samuel out of the way with her elbow as she quickly moved to her, leaning over to wrap her arms around Mary as best as she could. If Samuel was annoyed he didn't let it show, going to her other side to hug her as well. She couldn't really hug them back, she didn't dare move that much to disrupt the machines or Dean but she pressed up into them, tears starting to roll down her face.

"It's okay sweetheart, its okay." Deanna said, stroking her hair, her own voice cracking as well. "We're here, we're going to take care of you and make sure that you're okay."

"What happened?" Samuel half demanded half pleaded. "How did this happen? We saw you twenty minutes ago and you were fine." he just barely remembered to keep his voice down, glancing at the sleeping Dean a few times.

"She's also been in pain for days now." Deanna shot back, her voice fell to a whisper. "It doesn't matter, what matters now is preventing it from happening and ensuring that it doesn't happen again."

"And how exactly do we do that?" Samuel demanded. "What's the protocol here?"

"First things first, we don't stress her out." Deanna said through almost gritted teeth. "And this is going to stress her out."

"Yes, this is stressing me out." Mary said from between them. "Guys please, stop arguing, please."

Her parents nodded and didn't move away just yet, Mary looked around the room feeling her chest tighten when she saw John in the hallway talking to his parents. "Did you guys talk to the doctor yet?"

"Not yet, but don't you worry about anything, we'll take care of everything." Deanna assured her. "You just focus on keeping that baby in your belly."

"Trying." Mary said tiredly, she felt too drained and too tired to talk about anything else for now. She just wanted to sleep but at the same time...she wanted John with her too, not just her parents.

"I think someone should take Dean home and put him to bed there, he shouldn't be around all of this." Samuel said, face softening when he looked at his grandson.

Mary felt a bit of panic go through her, as well as another bit of pain. A whimper escaped her and immediately her parents attentions were back on her.

"I want Dean here, I need him here." she said, a tear rolling down her cheek. "He's staying."

"Okay, okay, he's staying, someone will go get some clothes for the both of you." Samuel quickly agreed. "Deanna I think you should, you're going to have to go through Mary's clothes and between the both of us, you're the better candidate."

Deanna rolled her eyes at that but nodded. She hesitated for a moment, not yet moving. "Mary...once you get through this," there was no other option for any of them, she was going to get through this with the baby, "you're going to have to change a lot of things."

"I know mom." Mary said softly. "Just...I want to get through this first and deal with everything else later."

"I understand but...one of the things you need to do immediately is get rid of anything stressful." Deanna said, sighing. "Honey, you're going to have to move back with us, no more excuses."

The idea of moving back with her parents, as much as she loved and adored them, the idea of giving up her independence, whatever little she had made her throat close up. She knew that she didn't have any other choice, she needed to put everything she wanted to the side and think about the baby right now. Everything she did now was for the baby.

Even if she didn't want to do it.

"She doesn't have to do that, I'll take care of her."

The Campbells looked to John who came into the room then, followed by his parents. He looked grave but determined.

"I'll take care of her." he repeated. "But if she needs to then she'll move back but for now, I think it would be alright."

**I do not own Supernatural. **

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**I had some issues with so this chapter was already posted on the other places. My ao3 is AnotherWriterWhoWrites and everything I post here will be there too.**


	24. Chapter 24

Samuel didn't say anything as he moved around Marys bed, grabbing John's arm, and pulling him into the hallway. He could see the Winchesters glance at one another and Henry followed, Millie staying with Deanna and Mary.

"Mind not grabbing my son like that Samuel?" Henry asked, his voice tight. "Especially considering what you wanted to ask of me."

"Well excuse me but I want to know exactly why he thinks he has the right to just barge in and think that he has a right to be anywhere near my daughter like that." Samuel said, letting go of John's arm. "I understand that you two have gotten close but where did this come from?"

John breathed out slowly, rubbing at his arm. "We just got close, that's it." he said, not wanting to get into the truth without Mary, it wasn't fair to either of them. "I care about her and I want to make sure that she'll be okay."

"Son, as kind and nice as that is, your time here is coming to an end soon." Henry reminded him. "And you'll be returning home. I think this is something you should leave to her parents."

Johns jaw tightened and moved side to side. "Not if I decide to stay here." he said tensely, not looking at his father as he sputtered.

"You can't stay here! You have responsibilities! You have an obligation to the Men of Letters!" Henry exclaimed. "You've been here less than three weeks and you have decided to stay here?"

"Dad this is something personal that I can't get into right now." John said, staring firmly at the wall. "I'm sorry but I've made up my mind."

"John this is not something that you can decide lightly." Henry stressed. "You are in the midst of your initiation. You can't just leave the Men of Letters."

"Didn't you say that you were going to consider what I asked?" Samuel injected, his voice frosting over. "Or was that just something you told me to placate me?"

"No, I intended to talk to my wife and the others on the Men of Letters council to figure out if this is something we should even be debating about." Henry told him. "I told you that I would let you know, this isn't something I can decide on my own."

John finally glanced between both of them. "What are you talking about?"

"Just something that Samuel has requested of me." Henry said. "And that was before you lost your mind and want to throw everything you've worked for away."

"Just because I want to stay here doesn't mean that I don't want to be a part of the Letters." John argued. "Just that I want to stay here to help Mary. She almost had a miscarriage dad."

"I know, and I do feel for her, I do." Henry said, glancing back towards the room where Mary and their wives were. "But with all due respect she is not my child, you are."

"I'm also a grown man, I don't need your help to make my decisions." John said. He looked at Samuel once more. "And what exactly are you two talking about?"

Henry sighed. "Samuel has asked me to consider allowing you and his daughter to perhaps...court one another." he said, making a face. "The terminology is a bit outdated but the intent is there."

For a moment, John couldn't speak. "You mean for the two of us to date?" he asked, his voice cracking for a moment. "Officially?"

"Yes, with the two of you being together it would bridge the gap and possibly ensure that we would all work together." Henry agreed. "And unlike how they do it in Britain we could have an actual mutualistic relationship in which all parties benefit."

"But it's not a decision I can make alone, I need to bring this to the council and it needs to be discussed, it's not as easy as just allowing the both of you to date." Henry sighed, running his fingers through his hair. "But seeing as...you want to stay here it might work in our favor."

Samuel opened his mouth to speak but whatever he was going to say he stopped, looking over their shoulders. John turned as well, feeling his heart clench when he saw Dean there, his suit wrinkled, eyes puffy that he was rubbing at with a small fist. He looked at them but his gaze stopped at John.

Before any of them could move towards his, or at least Samuel could go to take his grandson, Dean ran forward towards John, wrapping his arms around Johns legs. John started to bend down to lift him but froze when Dean spoke.

"Daddy, is mommy gonna be okay?" Dean asked, looking up at him with wide eyes that were filling with tears again.

**I do not own Supernatural. **

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	25. Chapter 25

John froze, he didn't know what else to say or do. Dean whimpered again and he immediately leaned down to pick him up, holding him close. Holding Dean to his chest Dean curled up close, hands grabbing at his shirt.

Rubbing Deans back John was very, very aware of how quiet his father and Samuel had gotten and firmly didn't look at either of them. "I'm sure that mommy is gonna be alright." he murmured to him. "She's going to be just fine."

Dean whimpered again, burying his face in Johns chest and just holding onto him. "Blood." he mumbled. "Lots of blood."

"I know that there was a lot of blood but its fine, it's all going to be fine." John told him. "Mommy and baby are gonna be fine."

Dean hiccuped slightly, pressing closer to him. He was shaking slightly and John just held him close, not knowing what else to do.

He counted to ten in his head, held Dean closer to him, and finally turned back to the other two men.

He could almost laugh at the look on their faces, it was identical looks of shock, disbelief, and slight dissociation. Neither looked like they were actually in the room anymore, both of them looked as if their souls had been taken from them.

John tried to glance around without moving too much, trying to find either the exit or a way to get back into Marys room without drawing attention. He started to inch towards Mary's room, not the safest but he didn't think that anyone would start to scream when Mary needed to remain calm.

John had barely gotten any distance in when he froze, hearing Samuel whisper under his breath.

"You're the son of a bitch." Samuel breathed out. "You're the son of a bitch that knocked up my little girl. You're the son of a bitch that left my sweet little flower with a child and another child in her stomach."

"It's a lot more complicated than that." John said. "And it's something I'd rather talk about with Mary as well."

"How did this even happen?" Henry demanded. "When did you two even have the time to...do this! How did this even happen?"

"You asked that twice." John couldn't help but point out. He shifted Dean closer to him, glancing at the door to Mary's room once more. "And again, I don't want to talk about this without Mary."

"Well that's mighty convenient!" Samuel exclaimed. "And don't bring my little girl into this she needs her rest."

John debated quite a few things at that moment, eyeing just how angry and puffed up Samuel, and his father, was getting. He looked down at Dean who seemed to be halfway between the point of sleeping and awareness.

Mind made up, and not caring one bit about the fact that he was technically running away, John all but ran back into Marys room, ignoring how the other men squawked for him to get back.

John let out a deep breath, looking up to see his mother looking at him. "Honey, you alright?" she asked him, putting down the knitting she had been working on.

"Fine, just fine." John told her, looking at the empty bed. "Where's Mary?"

"She's in the bathroom and no matter how many times she tried to argue, her mom insisted on coming in with her." Millie said as Henry and Samuel came into the room.

"We are not done discussing this John Eric Winchester!" Henry said. "We are going to get to the bottom of this right now!"

"What are we discussing exactly?" Millie asked, looking between him and John who was staring at the wall again.

"We are talking about the fact that apparently John is the father of both of Mary's children!" Henry exclaimed, halfway to throwing his hands into the air.

"Oh are we allowed to talk about that now?" Millie asked, brightening.

John slowly turned towards his mother. "What?" he asked his voice cracking at the same time that his father and Samuel did.

Millie blinked and looked around. "Its kinda obvious." she said with a shrug, she waved her hand at John and Dean. "First off they look incredibly alike and second, John sweetie, you're not as inconspicuous as you think you are. All that sneaking off and running around for the past few years, you really thought no one noticed?"

Henry was silent for a few moments before his eyes widened. "Oh my god, that's what it all was?" he asked in horror. "That's what it meant when he was gone?"

The door to the bathroom opened and Mary slowly limped back into the room with her mom holding her up and close. She looked at everyone in the room. "What did I miss?" she asked.

"Mary Bethany Campbell." Samuel said, coming forward and reaching to place his hands on her shoulders. "Look me in the eyes and tell me that John is not the father of both of your children."

Mary froze, eyes widening slightly. "The doctor said I'm not supposed to be stressing about anything right now." she quickly said.

"Oh my god he is." Samuel said, letting go of her shoulders and doubling over. "Deanna! Assistance!"

Deanna blinked, rubbing at Marys back. "Mary dear, are we allowed to actually talk about this now?"

"You knew?" Samuel exclaimed, straightening up and looking at his wife in horror. "Deanna you knew?"

"Its obvious." Deanna said, leading Mary back to the bed so that she could lay down again. John hesitated but then moved to her side, shifting Dean enough to take her hand in his.

"Again, no stress." Mary reminded them, entwining their fingers together. "I can't stress, baby can't handle stress right now."

"Just..." Samuel took a deep breath, clasping his hands together in front of him. "Just...tell us how this happened."

**I do not own Supernatural. **

**15/366**

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	26. Chapter 26

Mary didn't speak for a few moments.

"When you say, how did this happen..." she finally said hesitantly. "Do you mean...the how it happened or How It Happened?"

"Spare us the details of your sex life." Deanna said, sitting on her other side and patting her arm. "Just tell us about how the...other parts of the relationship happened."

Mary sighed and looked at John. He smiled at her and squeezed her hand, moving Dean so that he could curl up to her side once more in his mostly asleep state.

"It started...with sex." Mary said simply, shrugging as best as she could. "That's exactly how it started. Just...that."

Samuel took a deep breath, eyes closed as he tried to steady himself. "And you weren't using...protection?" he said, the words almost being choked out of him.

"Yes dad, we were using protection." Mary said, her cheeks reddened over. "We're not stupid, we knew what to do."

"This wasn't something that...just happened." John said quietly. "Before Dean we were together for a few years. We started…having relations when we were sixteen."

"Who made the first move?" Samuel demanded, opening his eyes and glaring at him, his gaze softening when he looked at Mary. "Who moved first?"

Mary and John looked at one another and spoke in unison, "I did."

Mary breathed out slowly. "John stop that, I made the first move."

"You like to think that you made the first move but I did." John told her. "It's me, I made the first move."

"I'm pretty sure me yanking you down by your tie to kiss you counts as the first move." Mary shot at him.

"And I'm sure that running down the hallway to find a closet we can use counts as the first move too." John countered.

"I pulled you into the closet!" Mary exclaimed, barely remembering to keep her voice down for Dean.

"I pulled the condom out of my wallet." John retorted.

"I'm the one that said-" Mary cut herself off when she remembered that their parents were all in the room. She peeked at them, biting her lower lip when she saw how green their dads were and how their moms were hiding laughter.

"Young love." Deanna said with a smile. "Brings back so many memories."

Mary sighed and leaned back into the bed, smiling herself despite it. "Okay, no matter who started it. We continued it. For a long time. And things just..."

"Just happened." John finished for her. "We never thought we'd be together in anyway, at least other than...sex. But it kinda just...brought down the line and we got closer and..."

"All of a sudden it was a lot more than just sex." Mary continued quietly. "And then...I got pregnant with Dean."

"Did you ever think about marrying my daughter?" Samuel asked lowly.

"Of course I did, I even said I'd leave the Men of Letters to help her and the baby." John shot back, ignoring how his father gave a noise of protest at that. "Mary was the one that said no."

"We never intended it for things to go this far." Mary said, shifting in the bed. "Especially not when it came to kids, and two of them. But it happened, and we're dealing with it."

"We want to be together, known by both sides." John told them. "I'm done hiding this and so is Mary, for our sakes, for Deans and the baby's sakes, we deserve the right to be a real family and no longer having to be worried about what our sides are going to do about it."

"The main problem is whether or not the council will allow this." Henry said quietly. "Having Dean and the other child is a push in the acceptance but...the older generation truly does not like hunters."

"They can't keep us apart, I'll leave if they try to." John said firmly. Mary was shaking slightly but held onto his hand tightly.

Henry rubbed his face with his hand, taking a deep breath. "Samuel just wanted the right for you two to date, I thought that that would be hard enough to convince them but this...this is even bigger." he said reluctantly. "And as much as I hate to admit it, they're more like our British counterparts than we admit them to be."

"What do you mean?" Deanna asked.

"I mean that they are not above using spellwork and anything else at their disposal to get what they want." Henry said. "Including brainwashing."

"It's been done in the past when a certain person has no desire to complete the initiation and want out." Millie said, shaking her head. "And after a meeting with the council they always come out miraculously having changed their minds and a completely different person than when they went in."

"So you think that it's a possibility that they would do that to John?" Samuel asked.

"Not just John but everyone in this room, including the children." Henry said nodding at Dean. "I would not put it past them to use their spells on him to make him completely forget about Mary and everyone else other than John."

Mary moved Dean closer to her, the shaking intensifying. "They can't do that." she said lowly. "They come near my son I'll kill them all." she said, about to say more when a sharp pain went through her and she flinched.

All the attention was on her then, trying to calm her down. "Nothings going to happen to Dean, no one is going to let anything happen." Deanna assured her. "Its okay Mary, it's all okay."

Mary whimpered, curled up slightly as she pressed her legs together. No stress, she wasn't supposed to be stressing about anything. The baby couldn't handle it.

But how the hell was she supposed to not be stressed about this?

**I do not own Supernatural. **

**19/366**

**I do take requests so if you have requests you can send them to me.**


	27. Chapter 27

"I didn't mean to break the rules." Dean mumbled, staring at the bed, hand gripping at the sheets. "I'm sorry."

"You're not in trouble Dean, I promise that you're not." Mary repeated for what felt like the hundredth time. She leaned back in the bed and glanced at John who just smiled at her.

Once Dean had woken up and realized that he had called John 'daddy' in front of everyone, he freaked out about it. For all he knew, they were playing a game and he had broken the rules of said game. Something that the both of them had always told him not to do.

It's not like they could really blame him. He's a kid and the whole experience was going to be extremely stressful on him. Seeing but not being able to touch John, and then with her almost miscarriage, he hadn't been able to think about anything other than the fact that his mom had suddenly been gushing blood.

Mary sighed and moved to sit up, grimacing slightly at the discomfort. She waited for a moment to make sure that there was no pain before she pulled Dean more to her, tucking him against her side.

"Dean we're not mad." Mary told him, feeling him shaking slightly. "Honesty, we're not mad."

"It just means that the game is over, that's it." John told him, sitting on the edge of the bed. He reached out and ruffled Deans hair. "So that means you don't need to listen to those rules anymore."

Dean looked up, blinking. "No more game?" he asked, relief in his voice.

"No more game." John confirmed with a nod.

Dean slumped against her side, wiping at his eyes. "Good, stupid game." he mumbled, letting go of the sheets to grip at her hospital gown instead.

Mary just held him close, rubbing his back as she shared a glance with John.

Their parents had left them alone for the time being, hers had gone to her apartment to get her and Dean some new clothes to change into. John's parents had gone back to their town, Lebanon John had told her, to try to figure out how to talk to the council about this.

Mary was also on strict doctor's orders to not stress out, to try to keep the excitement to a minimum. She was basically ordered to be on bedrest for the time being, not allowed to lift heavy objects or any sort of strenuous activity.

It took everything she had not to ask about having sex in front of her parents, she was half serious and half just wanting to see their dads squirm.

"So your mom knew." Mary said softly, stroking at Deans hair.

"Apparently, she knew that I was hiding something." John said, shaking his head. "I really thought I was being careful about the whole thing. She didn't realize it until she saw Dean."

"Same with my mom, she saw you and Dean together and it just clicked for her." Mary said with a shrug. "Mothers intuition I guess."

"I thought your dad was going to kill me, I was using Dean as a my shield." John told her with a laugh. "Think he's calmed down yet?"

"No." Mary said immediately. "He's been trying to get the secret out of me since I got pregnant with Dean, he's not going to let this go for a long time."

"Well, guess I won't be letting go of my little shield anytime soon." John said. He looked at her and Dean over for a moment before he scooted forward, trying to find a way to sit more comfortably next to them.

Mary moved as best as she could, looking down at Dean who half crawled on top of her and was just patting the small bump on her stomach. "Feel anything baby?"

"Baby brother." Dean mumbled, absentmindedly patting her stomach. "Is brother gonna be okay?"

"Baby brother is gonna be fine." Mary assured him, placing her hand over his. "I know it was scary but he's going to be fine."

Not that they knew if it was a brother or sister yet, it was still too early for that.

But it was a nice thought, another little boy, a little brother for Dean.

Not to mention that her father would be placated about having his namesake.

"I know that we're not supposed to talk about it right now, but I'm not going to go anywhere." John told her, making her look up at him. "I don't care, they can try whatever they want, I'm staying with you two."

Mary swallowed hard and nodded, reaching for his hand. "We can do this." she said softly. "We're going to be fine."

**I do not own Supernatural. **

**20/366**

**I do take requests so if you have requests you can send them to me.**


	28. Chapter 28

"Okay so I know that the doctor told me to take it easy, but I'm sure that he didn't mean this." Mary said a bit dryly.

John just smiled at her, holding her closer as he carried her over the threshold into her apartment. He was also carrying her bags on his back, having delegated Dean to hold a small bag that contained her medicine. Despite the medications, she had to laugh at the serious look on Dean's face as he held the bag closely and protectively.

Moving carefully John placed her on the couch, moving back a bit so that Dean could hand him the back of medications and crawl up by her side, curling into her as best as he could. Mary wrapped her arms around him, rubbing his back as she looked up at John.

"So you got me home, what are we going to do now?" Mary asked, watching John sit on the end of the couch.

"Now, I'm going to take care of you and make sure that you and baby are okay." John said, reaching to take her hand in his.

Mary entwined their fingers together to try to steady herself. "You know what I mean." she said. "You're due to go back to the other Men of Letters and your dad said that they can-"

"I don't care what they can do. I don't care what they want." John told her softly yet firmly. "I love you, I don't want to leave you or the baby or Dean. And they can use all the spells they want, they're not going to be able to change my mind."

Mary swallowed heavily. "And what if they try to erase your memories?" she whispered, holding onto his hand and Dean tightly. "What about then?"

"Then I'll make sure to remember you." John said simply. "They can't do a single thing to make me forget you forever, I'll always remember you. Okay?"

Mary felt her chest warm at that and she managed a smile. Nodding she took a deep breath. "Okay." she said simply. "Okay."

John smiled and leaned over to brush their lips together, free hand coming up to cup her face tenderly. Mary pressed up into him as best as she could, rubbing her thumb against his hand as they kissed. When Dean squirmed after a moment, tugging at her they broke away laughing.

"What's up baby?" Mary asked, looking down at him.

"Mama I'm hungry." he told her, sitting back now that he had her attention again. "Like really hungry."

"Alright kiddo, lets get some food." John said, reaching out to ruffle his hair before he got up off of the couch and going to the kitchen.

Mary leaned back on the couch, holding Dean to her and listening to John in the kitchen. Most likely he was heating up something that her mom had made her. Neither of them were good cooks but they were getting by.

She couldn't think about what the Letters could do, couldn't think about them doing something to make sure that John was kept from her. The worst part is that if they did do something and John never came back she had no idea what she could do to get him back. She'd have the kids to look after, even if her parents would be willing to take them in full time she refused to just leave them.

But she couldn't think about that, she can't stress out right now, she had to relax and she had to remain calm no matter what.

The baby was counting on her to keep calm.

Mary let out a deep breath, her hand going to her stomach to rub at the bump. Six months, six more months and the baby was going to be okay. She could do this, she could carry and hold this baby for another six months. She'd eat all the salads the baby wanted. She'll drink every smoothie and eat every vegetable her mother made her. She won't even think about drinking or burgers or anything else that she couldn't have at all.

She looked down at the small bump, maybe it was her imagination and it was the fact that she was only three months but the bump did look smaller than when she had been three months pregnant with Dean.

She pushed that thought away as hard as she could despite her quivering.

Whatever she needed to do to make sure that her baby was going to be okay, she was going to do it and not complain one bit.

So long that in six months she has her baby in her arms alive and healthy.

She was going to do this. She could do this.

She could do this.

**I do not own Supernatural. **

**40/366**

**I do take requests so if you have requests you can send them to me.**


	29. Chapter 29

_You love her. _

_You never thought you could love someone like this. Like how you love her. _

_It didn't start out like that, it had just been sex in the beginning. She was pretty and she wanted it, that was enough to make it, whatever it was, work. At the time. _

_At the time. _

_But then things changed. She stopped being a hunter, she stopped being someone you hooked up with, all that was meaningless. _

_You love her. You love her unconditionally. You love her completely. There is no part of you that doesn't love her. _

_If you're reading this, that means you've forgotten about it. That the Men of Letters have done something to you to make you forget. But you can't, even if they take it from you, you're going to know. That something is missing, you're going to feel that hole. You're going to know that something isn't right. _

_You're going to know that she's not there. You know you're missing a part of yourself. It's her, she's what you're missing. _

_It's Dean that's missing. Your son with her, the true realization that you can create something, someone, amazing like he is. You never thought you could love someone like you love Mary. _

_But you also never realized you could love someone like you love Dean. Like you love the second child that's not even born yet but still so loved. _

_You love her. _

_And you need to remember that. _

John reread his letter, making sure that everything important was in it. There was a second letter involved, instructing him to talk to his parents and if that failed, the ways to contact Mary's parents and Mary herself.

He looked over the picture of Mary and Dean that he had, smiling at it. He placed it carefully into the envelope as well and sealed it. Getting up he went to his bag and placed it inside, wanting it to be close to him so that once he saw his parents he could give it to them for safe keeping.

He wasn't going to lie, he wasn't going to pretend that the Men of Letters didn't have trick after trick up their sleeves. He wasn't going to think that this was going to be all that easy and they'd accept him and Mary being together and having children.

So, he'll be prepared for whatever comes his way.

They'd never kill him or do anything to outright endanger him. He's a legacy of a dying kind, despite the Men of Letters best attempts, some people refused to have children to bring in the next generation. Some of them were tired of the whole aspect of keeping a secret from half of their family and in response refused to marry.

His mother and father were a bit of a rare example. The Man of Letters is supposed to lead a double life when it comes to his wife, as far as she knew he was a businessman that sometimes had to leave on days on end for meetings and the such and to never speak about their job.

The day that Henry Winchester came back home, blood soaked from his old partner Josie Sands sacrifice to destroy a Knight of Hell and keep the Men of Letters secrets to them, he broke and told Millie everything, he told her the entire truth about who he was and what it was they did.

The council was furious but in the end there wasn't much that they could do. The end result was a tightening of the rules and punishments if other couples tried to follow suit.

But Mary wasn't just someone else, she was a hunter, a legacy of her own right. She was firmly in the supernatural world and prepared that…he just didn't see the point. The both of them being together could only strengthen the ties between the two conflicting parts and he just couldn't understand why they didn't see that.

The council was made up of the mostly older generation, men that had fought when World War I was known as the Great War. They were firmly in their old beliefs and refused to budge in the slightest, making any kind of change impossible.

Meaning that they'd never allow him and Mary to be together and when they found out that not only were they together but two children were involved?

He wasn't in any rush to see what they were going to do.

But blood meant everything to them and at the very least they had that on their side. The children weren't going to be harmed in anyway, not so long as they had Winchester blood in them.

But it didn't mean that any other option was a good one.

Letting out a deep breath he closed his bag and turned the lights off, going back to the bedroom where Mary was sleeping. He stopped in the doorway for a moment, just taking the sight in.

Mary and Dean were on the bed together, curled up close to one another. Dean had taken to sleeping with them, clinging hard to Mary and the baby. She told him that he used to do that before too, it's only gotten more intense after the almost miscarriage.

He smiled at the sight of them and carefully got into the other side of the bed, making sure not to move too quickly so that he didn't wake her up. Even when she was dead asleep Mary still had the instincts of a hunter and he didn't want to have a knife pressed to his throat.

Again.

He kept his touch gentle as he wrapped his arm around her, moving closer to her so that he could easily just curl around her and go to sleep. Mary shifted slightly but then pressed back into him, remaining asleep.

John stroked over Deans back as he slept as well, holding him as best as he could. He laid down completely and closed his eyes, breathing in deeply as he held his family to him and fell asleep.

**I do not own Supernatural. **

**44/366**

**I do take requests so if you have requests you can send them to me.**

**This chapter was inspired by Secretwrittenword who gave me the idea of John leaving himself a letter.**


	30. Chapter 30

Henry was sitting on the edge of the bed, staring at some spot on the wall as he turned the ring on his finger, lost in thought.

He kept his ring dictating his ranking in the Man of Letters on his left hand, despite tradition dictating that it should be on the right and primary hand. On his right hand he had his wedding ring instead, stroking over the metal of that ring.

Millie was already on the bed, book in hand. She wasn't reading it, just watching him as his mind worked out what he was going to try to say and do.

"If it hasn't come to you yet, it's not going to in the next five minutes." she told him, finally breaking the silence. "Come to bed."

She heard him sigh as he stood up, he pulled his Men of Letters ring off almost with a yank, tossing it onto his nightstand hazardly. He pulled the blanket up enough on his side to get into the bed, laying on his back and staring at the ceiling.

Millie closed her book and put it to the side, turning to face him. "Still don't know what to tell them?"

Henry shook his head, hand coming up to rub at his eyes. "I have no clue." he said. "I don't even know where to start, I'm already pushing at it by requesting a meeting with them."

Millie bit back a sigh at that, she wasn't a Letter, she was just a spouse; in fact she wasn't even supposed to know about the Letters but Henry had told her, and as such she had quite an outside look into the whole secretive world.

It made no sense to her whatsoever, the whole thing with its hierarchy and ranking and all that nonsense. There was no point to arguing about it tonight, tonight it was about Henry going to the council in regards to his relationship with Mary Campbell.

She thought back to that small envelope that John had given her just in case, she hadn't told Henry about it, but John had told her to give it to him if something did in fact happen to erase his memories or misguide him in anyway.

She never liked the Letters mainly because of that, an organization such as them meant that things were hidden and more than one person could understand. Too much power for a small group of people with no one really being able to oversee them to ensure that that power wasn't being abused in any way.

Nothing could stop them if they chose to just...push their will onto others. No one would be able to lift a finger to stop them.

And that was more terrifying than anything else.

"Do you think if they don't allow it they'll do something with the children?" Millie asked him, hoping that her voice wasn't shaking to betray her worries.

And that was another part of this whole mess that was John and Mary, that children were involved. One born and one in danger of possibly not being born.

She recalled Dean with a fond smile, the few minutes that she had spent in company with the child. Adorable and shy, but very loving and close to his parents.

And the reason that they all knew the truth, a child just searching for comfort from his parents letting everyone else know just what was going on in his innocence.

"They won't hurt them." Henry said certainly, unwavering in the idea. "They're half ours, Winchesters, so if it came to it they would probably just end up taking the children and trying to pass them off as orphans being initiated into the Letters."

"I thought that the Letters were all about blood, they bring orphans into the ranks now?" Millie asked.

"It's something they've started to do in the London division, the bloodlines aren't as strong as they once were." Henry told her. "At best it brings new bloodlines into the division. At worst the kids were used as practice for the others."

She didn't want to know what sort of practices the poor children were used as.

"But because they are Winchesters, if they are taken and passed off as orphans, I don't think anything would happen to them." Henry continued. "But...at the same time, they won't be Winchesters and they won't be Campbells. They'll be...something else."

Millie swallowed heavily at that, taking a deep breath. "Well...we're not going to let that happen." she said. "Do you plan on bringing the children up?"

"If I have to." Henry said simply. "If they're not willing to accept the possibility of John and Mary being together then I'll just have to say that it has already happened and there are children as a result."

"I don't want to bring the children into this." he said quietly. "But if I think it'll help then I will."

Millie nodded, wishing that she could give some sort of advice to him. Ultimately she just moved across the bed to curl around him, offering her comfort as best as she could.

"I have faith in you, regardless of what you're going to have to say." she told him, feeling him relax. "I know you can do it."

**I do not own Supernatural. **

**45/366**

**I do take requests so if you have requests you can send them to me.**


	31. Chapter 31

John felt like he was wearing someone else's clothes and skin, shifting in his seat and making his suit wrinkle slightly. To try to keep himself calm he smoothed out the wrinkles, staring at the ring on his finger.

His father had gone to the council yesterday morning and that evening, he had been summoned to join them. He still hadn't seen his father, although he was told that he was still inside with the others, and he wasn't sure if that was a good thing or a bad thing.

He tried to tell himself that it was a good thing, it had to be a good thing.

After what seemed like an eternity the door opened, his attention immediately snapped to it, and a man appeared. He dimly recognized him, he was another Letter, just a few levels above his own, stared at him for a long moment before speaking.

"They're waiting for you." was all he said as he opened the door the rest of the way and stepped aside to give John the room to enter.

John allowed himself one more moment to look himself over to make sure that he was presentable and to steady himself with a deep breath, before he continued forward, entering the room.

There was a single chair in the middle of the room and to the back was a row that sat the council, all men, all wearing the same disapproving looks on their face as John entered and took his seat in front of them. He had no idea of any of their names, it was done like that on purpose to ensure that no one really knew who they were or which family they were aligned with. They all had different numbers pinned to the fronts of their jackets, that's how they differentiate between them.

He sat straight up in his seat, letting his eyes go from one to the other council member, but didn't say anything just yet, waiting for them to make the first move.

His father wasn't in the room.

"John Eric Winchester." One of the men finally spoke, the one wearing a number Fifteen, breaking the silence. He had a folder in his hand and was looking through it. "Only son of the Winchester bloodline. Top of his class among all his lessons, including weaponry. Considering for legacy status pending his formal initiation into the ranks."

The folder was closed and tossed to the side. "And willing to throw it all away for a hunter's daughter."

"That's not what this is about-" John started to say, only to be interrupted.

"Yes, yes, we've heard." the member that had Twenty-three on his jacket injected. "Your father attempted to explain everything, quite a Romeo and Juliet situation."

"He tried to paint it with love and affection and every other word that he could use that held the same meaning." number Twenty-nine said. "He tried to prattle on and on about it, ultimately not realizing that his words meant nothing."

"What Mary and I have-"

"Regardless of whatever feelings you think you may have to this hunter's daughter, it's irrelevant and unimportant." number Forty-eight said. "You have your duties to think about, which should have remained your top priority and nothing else."

"Her only saving grace is her own bloodline." number Twenty-four said. "And even then, it's not a pure bloodline. Regardless of what they say, a hunter's blood is...'' he searched for the right word. "Unclean."

"You are going too far." John said, not letting any of them interrupt him again, speaking over their voices instead. "What Mary and I have is none of your business and none of your concern. What right do you have to tell me what I can and can't do?"

"And what right, boy, do you think you have to try to destroy generations and generations of traditions?" number Fifteen demanded. "What makes you believe that you are deserving to break our rules, set forth by our ancestors?"

"Those rules were set by people that didn't believe we'd even survive two generations." John reminded them. "It is a different time and everything is changing, we would be foolish not to change with it."

"Twenty-four." number Thirty-five said, stopping the both of them from speaking. "You spoke of this girl's bloodline, what of it?"

Twenty-four snorted at that. "She's a Campbell." he said, upper lip curling in disgust at the name. "A direct bloodline herself, Samuel Campbell's only child."

"She's a legacy in her own right." Thirty-five said, rubbing at his chin. "Not to mention, despite our attempts we cannot and have not monopolized all the information out there. I have no doubt that her circles and her family have their own array of books and methods with the supernatural that we do not."

Twenty-four stared at him incredulously. "So what are you suggesting? That we continue to allow this so long as we get that information?"

"It's not as if we are the first to decide to create an alliance in such a way." Thirty-five said. "An arranged marriage of sorts."

"You're suggesting that they marry? And what of children? Do you wish for that as well?" Fifteen demanded, not noticing how John tensed up at that. "To bring their damaged genes and blood into our ranks?"

"You're going off things you don't know, just because the Hunters are...of the unsavory type, doesn't mean that there is anything wrong with their blood. It is as red as ours." Thirty-five said. "The point of the matter is this, John Winchester is right, times are changing and we are suffering because of it. Either we change with it, or we perish."

"There are always other options than to have to go completely off the rails and allow just anyone to join." Forty-eight said. "Our brothers in England-"

"Our brothers and sisters in England have gone a completely different path, complete with entrapment and murder." Thirty-five injected. "We are above them. Europe...is not to be discussed here, nor the other branches of the world. What works for them is meaningless to us."

"I don't agree with it." Thirty-five added. "I also don't enjoy seeing the possibility of our ranks joining the hunters in such a way. But if we don't do something, we will suffer the consequences. If not John's generation then the next, I don't think I have to say that his generation is the most rowdy one we've had so far. How many of our former students didn't even make to their initiatives due to leaving? Some even joined the armies to fight in the governments wars. A handful have...killed themselves to get away from their responsibilities. We're losing more and more, we cannot survive doing what we've been doing."

Twenty-three heaved a giant sigh. "The biggest concern is children." he said, his voice tense. "There's no guarantee of children even if we allow this. For all we know the hunters are too damaged to do such a thing."

"The concern is not needed." John spoke, hoping that his voice wasn't shaking as much as he felt himself shaking inwardly.

Thirty-five sighed as well. "John, it is necessary for you to continue your line. It's one of the oldest, you cannot let it die out."

"When I say that it's not a concern, I mean that that's already taken care of." John told them. "Mary and I have had a son, and she's pregnant with another child right this moment."

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**I had a lot of fun with this chapter.**


	32. Chapter 32

John wasn't sure if he regretted saying those words or not but it was done and he couldn't take them back. He just straightened up and steeled himself for whatever was going to come next.

Fifteen was the first to speak, well less speak and more explode. "What the devil do you mean you and the hunter have a child?" he demanded in a loud shout that filled the room, halfway out his seat, hands banging against the table. "You mean to tell us all that you procreated with her?"

"John, when you say that she is currently pregnant with another child." Thirty-five said slowly. "Do you mean that the second child is yours as well?"

"Yes." John said, focusing on the man, it seemed like he was his only real other partner in this, or at least was the most open to the possibility of permissions for him and Mary to be together. "We are going to have two children together, one is already a child."

"And how old is this child?" Thirty-five asked carefully.

"He will be four years old soon." John answered, feeling his chest tighten at the thought of Dean and Mary.

"Four years old." Twenty-three muttered under his breath. "Over four years of this madness."

Thirty-five took his glasses off, rubbing at his nose. "Well...having a child and another on the way does work in your favor," he said carefully. "And Mary Campbell comes from a hunting family, has she started to train the child as a hunter?"

He felt his something in his stomach churn at the words, he was already on edge but something about what was asked, put him off more. "I don't know." he said carefully. "When Mary and I are together we don't talk about hunting or anything supernatural. We just focus on ourselves and the child."

"How quaint." one of them, he couldn't tell which one, snorted.

Thirty-five had a strange look on his face as he thought, fingers tapping against the side of his glasses. "Then...the second child," he murmured.

Before John could say anything else, protest them even thinking about the second child or about Dean, Thirty-five nodded and waved his hand.

"John please go to the other room, we need to discuss everything that has been said." Thirty-five dismissed him. "Feel free to use the bathroom but don't dawdle, you will be needed soon again."

John wanted to say something, anything, else but it was useless. He was being dismissed and as a result, they wouldn't listen to him again. He just nodded stiffly and stood, not bothering to say goodbye or keep his manners as he turned and left the room, allowing the door to slam shut behind him.

"What exactly are you thinking Thirty-five?" Fifteen demanded.

"I'm thinking that we have a very rare opportunity in our hands." Thirty-five said slowly. "Despite any lingering dissatisfaction with the hunting community, the Campbell family are a direct and pure line of hunters, even other hunting families cannot claim the infamy that the Campbells claim. Quite similar to the Winchester bloodline."

"There is a disconnect between our two sides, something that has never benefited anyone." Thirty-five continued. "Lack of communication, lack of information between us and them, it's gotten to such a degree that we are sending our initiates to hunt with others, as chosen by Samuel Campbell, Mary's father."

"The biggest concern was children, the continuation of the line." he went on. "But apparently...that is already taken care of. There will be two children as a result of their bloodlines."

"Two children mean that the two sides are already taken care of." Twenty-three said, slowly realizing what Thirty-five was saying. "A child for the hunters, and a child for us."

"But which one?" Thirty-five asked them. "Which child will be integrated into which organization?"

"The preference would be the first born son to become a Man of Letters." Twenty-three said. "I don't believe the hunters have any sort of beliefs in lineage as we do, so long as the child lives it will be a hunter."

"And that would depend on whether or not that first child is a boy." Thirty-five mused. "But regardless, if those two wish to have this relationship, then the children will have to be involved as well. Especially the first born boy."

Fifteen didn't look pleased but nodded. "Then, the provisions stand. The two communities will be brought together and we will each have a child. What if the hunters start to demand entrance into the bunker?"

"Depending on the hunter, we may need to allow them entry." Thirty-five said. "At the very least, the Campbells are going to be allowed by proxy."

"Would be nice to have both of the children." Twenty-three murmured. "We don't have that many siblings in the Letters, it would be interesting to see how the two would compare."

"As interesting as that would be, we have to at least pretend to be fair and leave the Campbells one heir." Thirty-five said. "Unless of course they have more children, in that case...we can argue for the third child to also join the Letters."

"For now, let us focus on the two that are. Or rather, the one that is and the one that will be." Twenty-three said. "We need to know more details about the children."

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	33. Chapter 33

They want Dean.

John couldn't wrap his mind around it, couldn't quite grasp the whole connotation.

They want Dean.

He wasn't going to deny it and say that a part of him didn't want that, he liked the idea of him and Dean working together, studying together. He liked the idea of working with his son, being the mentor to him that his father had been to him.

He liked the idea of their legacy continuing like this, the continuation of Winchesters becoming Men of Letters.

But at the same time, he knew that it was exactly the farthest thing that Mary had wanted for the kids.

There's no way he could tell Mary this, she wasn't supposed to be stressing about anything at the moment, or risk losing the baby. And this? This would stress her out completely.

He needed to talk to someone about this. Dimly he thought about Mary's parents, but then remembered the look on Samuels face when he learned that he was the father.

If he spoke to Samuel and told him what the other Letters had said, he was sure that he wasn't going to have to worry anymore. In fact, he wouldn't have to worry about anything, Samuel would kill him and salt and burn his remains.

So he diverted the course to go to his parents home instead, hoping that he could talk to them about the predicament.

His mom was outside on the porch, when he pulled into the driveway she looked up and smiled, although it looked a bit stressed.

"Hey, what's wrong?" he asked, coming out of the car and going to her to hug her.

Millie held onto him tightly. "Your dads not home yet." she told him, sitting back on the swing. "And I just worry whenever he has all these council and other business. I get it, it's all a big secret and no phone calls allowed." she shook her head. "Just with the whole thing, I'm a bit anxious to find out what's happening."

"Well I can tell you some parts of it." John sighed, sitting next to her. "Basically...they said they'll let me and Mary be together if they get Dean as a future initiate into the Letters."

Slowly John told her everything that had happened from the beginning, including the hostility and how basically, they wanted Dean and possibly any third child they were to have.

Millie had taken his hand in between two of hers, rubbing at his palm. "So Dean is going to grow up to become a Man of Letters." she said softly. "Not an easy road for him."

"Not in the slightest." John said just as softly, remembering his own childhood. Growing up with the other initiates, the constant scrutiny and learning, the stress that seemed to build with each and every day.

"Mary didn't want them to hunt." he said quietly, it was something that they had whispered about in the middle of the night when they couldn't sleep. "She didn't want them to be in the supernatural world at all, she said that she wanted them to have a normal life."

"Well then...that does put everyone in a predicament." Millie agreed. "What are you going to do?"

"I'd like to talk to her about this." John said truthfully. "It's just...I'm afraid to bring it up. I don't want to push her over the edge, she's...in a bag situation."

"And no stressing out." Millie recalled, nodding. "So...the next best thing would be her parents."

John thought to Samuel once more and blanched, making Millie laugh at his face.

"Yes I suppose that Samuel isn't the best one to talk about this with." she agreed. "But maybe Deanna, we had a very lovely, long talk together at the hospital while you boys were off doing whatever it was you were doing."

"I was being threatened by both Samuel and dad." John told her. "And using my son as a shield."

"Sounds about right." Millie nodded. "But in this case, if you want to talk to a Campbell, Deanna is your best option."

"She also knew about Mary and me, she was helping us with the whole sneaking around back then." John remembered with a smile. "Alright, I'll talk to her. Get a hunter and Campbells opinion."

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	34. Chapter 34

"When Mary and Samuel find out about what the other Men of Letters want, I'm sure that they're going to hurt you." Deanna told him plainly. "At the very least, Samuel is going to want someone's blood."

"Yeah that's what I figured is going to happen." John said, rubbing his eyes. "Any advice at all?"

Deanna thought for a moment. "Run fast and run hard." she advised him. "Samuel is fast despite his age so you're going to need a headstart."

"Mrs. Campbell, please." John requested. "I...I actually need some advice for this, I don't know what to do."

Deanna nodded, becoming serious at that. "I know that Mary has been whispering about wanting a normal life for the kids." she said. "But you can't avoid the supernatural completely, especially when you know it's out there and it knows you. In my opinion? Becoming a Man of Letters is a lot safer than ignoring everything else that's out there."

"Maybe." John allowed, staring down at the ground. "Just...how do I bring this up to Mary without her freaking out and stressing over it?"

"She's going to stress out no matter what, despite everything I'm sure she's stressing out right now about everything." Deanna told him. "I think you should talk to her just to keep her in the loop, that way she knows what to prepare for."

"And if it gets so hard for her to accept it that she has a miscarriage?" John asked, feeling the pit in his stomach grow.

He couldn't get the image out of his head, how blood covered Mary had become so fast, all the color leaving her face until she was practically see through.

Just how close they came to losing their baby.

"So Dean becoming a Man of Letters, that means that this baby is expected to become a hunter." John said, looking at Deanna. "And I know for certain that that's not something Mary wants."

Deanna nodded once more. "I don't blame her." she said simply. "Samuel and I had quite a few arguments about that, about raising our daughter as a hunter. Nothing breaks your heart faster than watching your toddler holding onto a weapon of some kind."

Despite himself John couldn't help but shake at that, his mind creating an image of Dean in that position. Soon to be four years old and learning how to kill monsters and sharpening blades.

He wanted to throw up for a moment and then thankfully it passed.

"So maybe both of them should become Letters." he offered. "Safer and the others can't argue against anything else."

Deanna shook her head. "It gives them too much power, too much of a hold over the family." she said. "All the children of the bloodlines as Letters? Destroys any chance at having Hunters and Letters working together, which lets pretend is what they really want and aren't using as a shield to hide what they really want."

"The whole thing about this, about you and Mary, about Campbell and Winchester, is that its two very different yet very similar sides finally coming together." Deanna told him. "And I get it, I do, doesn't mean that I have to like it. But the whole point of this is bringing the two together so that we can work side by side, not almost against each other."

"That's not something that can be done if both the kids are Letters, one of them has to represent the Hunters and the hunting side, while the other one represents the Letters." Deanna continued. "So while it does churn my stomach and I hate every last bit of it, it makes sense to keep one child on one side and the other on the other."

Deanna took a deep breath and stood, going to the kitchen and coming back with a large box. "Now, you're going to go to Marys and explain everything to her, be gentle and try to keep her calm. This is just a few more things for her, I know the girl doesn't really enjoy cooking so I'll be making sure to stock up her kitchen."

John stood up, taking the box from her carefully. "Alright." he sighed. "Thank you Mrs. Campbell."

"John, you are the father of my grandchild and my daughters boyfriend." Deanna told him firmly. "I think you can call me Deanna now." she moved up to kiss his cheek, patting it. "No matter what happens, I know that you and Mary can handle it together. And besides, if you need the help, that's what us parents are here for."

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	35. Chapter 35

Mary looked two seconds away from grabbing Dean and bolting right there, the only thing stopping her was how tightly she was grabbing the back of the chair.

She also looked two seconds away from picking the chair up and throwing it at him. He shifted from side to side, ready to bolt to the other room if she tried that.

Breathing out slowly Mary slowly loosened her grip on the chair, moving instead to sit down in it instead. She bowed her head until she could wrap her hands around it, he could see her breathing in deeply.

"They want Dean to become a Man of Letters." she said, her voice slightly muffled. "And this one to be a hunter."

"That's basically it." John said quietly, sitting in the other chair and scooting closer to her. He wanted to take her hand but settled for just placing his hand on her leg. "And because they now know about the kids...they're not going to be willing to change their minds, at least with Dean."

He felt her flinch at that and he couldn't blame her, Dean was napping in his room and he had glanced in on him when he had come over. The sight of their little boy, curled around his stuffed cat and deep asleep, the thought of training him to become a Man of Letters…

He didn't like what his mind painted for him.

"It's safe." John said softly, rubbing at her leg as best as he could. "The worst thing that we do at times is go to certain locations that require translations or warding or something like that. Dean will be safe."

"And what about the other one?" Mary whispered, bringing her head up to look at him. "All this means that the second one is definitely a hunter. I don't want that for them."

"They just have to be in the hunting world, it doesn't mean that they have to hunt." John said, already having thought of that. "They don't have to actually hunt just...be aware of it and participate in it."

"I don't think that'll be enough." Mary whispered, rubbing her eyes and then her cheeks. John got up long enough to just get her a glass of water which she accepted with a grateful nod. Sipping at it slowly she rubbed at her stomach, lost in thought.

"It doesn't matter." she said quietly. "We don't have a choice in this, not if we don't want to face any kind of repercussions."

She looked towards the direction of Dean's room once more, taking a deep breath.

"Alright, so Dean becomes a Man of Letters." she said, her entire body shuddered at that. "What and when does it happen?"

"Usually around five or six the lessons start." John said, remembering his own childhood. "At first it's nothing that big, mostly Latin lessons and multiple religious teachings. Every year more and more things are added, like exorcisms and spellwork. Once he reaches about twelve or thirteen, that's when it goes to lore and supernatural. We learn about the monsters out there and how to kill them."

He could hear Mary mutter something under her breath at that but couldn't make it out. She shook her head and drank the rest of the water. Leaning back in her chair, she placed her hand on her stomach, John couldn't help but copy her, just touching the small bump.

"How do you feel?" he asked, his thumb rubbing against her stomach.

"Tired, back still kinda hurts." she told him quietly. "And now, worried to all hell."

"You don't need to be worried, nothing is going to be happening today or tomorrow." John told her. "We have time to figure everything out. Just...please relax for now."

Mary nodded, entwined their fingers together over the small bump. "I'll try." she said, holding onto him tightly. "I just want things to be okay with all of us."

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	36. Chapter 36

Mary breathed out slowly as she leaned back in the chair, trying to ignore whatever the doctor was doing between her legs. John was beside her holding her hand and rubbing at it reassuringly.

It felt like the doctor was there for an eternity and Mary couldn't help but break the silence.

"I usually ask men to buy me dinner before digging up that high inside of me." she said, stubbornly not looking down. She had no desire to see what was exactly being done there.

She felt more than heard, and that was a weird feeling, when the doctor laughed and then straightened up, shaking his head.

"If I had a dollar for every time someone told me that, I'd have no more student loans." he told her, taking his gloves off and throwing them away before putting on another clean pair. "Alright so I checked the plumbing thoroughly, before I say anything I want to know more about how you're feeling."

Mary shifted a bit uncomfortably at that, looking at John who just smiled at her. "Not good." she finally admitted, she hated being honest about anything that was bothering her, especially if she was hurting. But it wasn't about her anymore, it was about the baby. "My lower back hurts a lot, my lower stomach is killing me most days, I eat but I'm not hungry, and I'm not sleeping that well."

"I give her massages for her back, her mom and mine make her a lot of bland soups and smoothies but she's throwing most of them up." John added. "Everything else I don't know how to deal with."

The doctor nodded at that, grabbing another machine and bringing it over. "Bring your shirt up, let's try to get a picture of the kid."

Mary did as he asked, pulling her shirt up and letting him spread the gel around her stomach. She bit down on the inside of her cheek at the small, barely there bump. "It's still small." she whispered. "Is that normal?"

"Every pregnancy is different." the doctor told her gently. "I've had some women that looked like they were carrying triplets only for one child. I've had one that didn't know she was pregnant until she was giving birth because she never gained any weight or showed. I'm focusing on other things, not just the bump."

"Well how are those other things that you're focusing on?" John asked, shooting him a pointed look.

The doctor just met his gaze head on. "I'll let you know at the end, I want to have all the details first before we discuss anything."

Mary squeezed his hand as best as she could, barely flinching when the doctor placed the probe on her stomach and started to move around, spreading the gel around as a result. Together they looked at the screen, desperate for some kind of an image.

"Alright so, we got the shape of the baby, its forming nicely for about twelve weeks." the doctor said, moving the probe around. He reached out to tap the screen. "There's the head, there's an arm, there's a foot."

It just looked like a grey blob to her, she squinted and strained and leaned forward, trying to see what the doctor was pointing out.

This wasn't that big a deal, she hadn't been able to see anything when she had been pregnant with Dean either, not until it was closer to her due date.

But it was different now. The baby was in danger and she needed to make sure that it was okay. She just wanted to make sure that it was okay.

"The placenta is a bit lower than normal but it's nothing I'd worry about just yet." he quickly added. "Just something to note for future visits. And I have a bit of a treat for you guys." he flipped a switch on the screen and a sound filled the room.

It was faster than expected and despite its muffled sound, it quickly and easily filled the entire room, bringing tears to their eyes.

"Is that...is that..." Mary tried to ask, her throat closing up. She felt a tear run down her face and when she looked at John, he looked like he was barely holding himself together, tears in his eyes as well.

"That's the baby's heart, strong and good." the doctor told them with a smile. "Regardless of your other problems, the heart is strong and the baby is stubborn as anything. As far as the baby is concerned, it's not going anywhere for another six months."

Mary let her head fall back, a choked sound escaping her as the sound of the baby's heartbeat surrounded her. She felt John shift enough to wrap his arm around her as best as he could. She turned so that she could bury her face in his shoulder, taking a deep breath to try to compose herself.

The doctor had looked away to give them a few moments of privacy, only getting up to snag the box of tissues and hold them to John who took them gratefully, tendering wiping the tears off of Mary's face and then his own.

"Alright, what else should we know about?" John asked, clearing his throat a few times to get the words out.

The doctor looked at the screen once more. "Well, I could tell you the gender of the baby."

Mary straightened at that, eyes widening as she looked at the screen as well, trying to see it. "You can?"

The doctor nodded, moving the probe a few centimeters to the side. "Oh yeah, the kids not hiding whatsoever."

She and John looked at one another, talking wordlessly before looking back at the doctor. "Alright."

The doctor smiled and turned to look at them. "You're having a son."

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	37. Chapter 37

"Looks like my dad gets his wish of his name being used." Mary tried to joke, succeeding in smiling and making John smile as well. She looked down at the black and white picture once more, trying to make heads or tails about it.

She could pick out...bits. If she squinted she could see that it was the shape of a baby that was slowly coming together to look like a human being.

Dean was leaning into her side as well, his head pressed against her stomach and staring at the picture in her hand. He reached out to gently touch it, finger moving along the white blob.

"Little brother." he mumbled, snuggling closer to her. Her free hand came up to stroke at his hair and just hold him, not wanting to let go any time soon.

Maybe it was the whole idea of him becoming a Man of Letters, or maybe it was all the fear of losing baby Sammy, they could call him that officially now because they knew what it was. But regardless, she just wanted to soak up all the cuddles that she could with Dean for as long as she could.

She still wasn't sure how to feel about it, she was trying to remain calm despite everything else and that involved trying not to panic about her son becoming a Man of Letters.

Maybe it was the part of her that belonged to the Hunters, even if she denied it it was in her blood and she was damn good at it. The whole animosity between the two had been a driving force between her and John's relationship, it had been exciting when they were teenagers, a secret entanglement that held a lot of repercussions if they were caught.

They just never thought that this was going to be the repercussions they faced, with two kids being taken into two very different routes.

Sighing Mary let go of the picture so that Dean could take it, shifting slightly to get a bit more comfortable. John came into the room with a plate of snacks for the three of them, sitting on the couch with her.

She wasn't really hungry, she hadn't been hungry for the past few days, but she forced herself to eat whatever it was that John gave her.

Her parents were going to come over later and apparently so was his parents. His parents had wanted to meet Dean officially as his other set of grandparents, and honestly it wasn't something that she could deny them, no matter how much she wasn't up to hosting or seeing anyone else for the time being.

At the very least she could just claim that she's tired and go to her room and just stay in bed. Take Dean with her for good measure so he didn't get overwhelmed and just cuddle him for hours.

That sounded nice.

But with everyone being together they could actually discuss the whole...everything. About her pregnancy, about the Men of Letters, about Dean and baby Samuel.

She was not looking forward to her dad and the whole thing about her and John and everything else.

"John, what was growing up like for you?" she asked softly, staring at the ceiling. She could see John look at her but she didn't move just yet.

"I don't really have that much to compare it to." John said slowly. "A lot of classes as I got older, a lot of restrictions that came as a teenager." he handed Dean a piece of the apples he had cut for them. "It's mostly a lot of learning and memorizing, it was only with us when we were teenagers that we were encouraged to get out a bit more."

"Guess they realized that being shut in all day with old books isn't really that good." Mary said, looking at him with a smile which he met.

"Guess so." John said, rubbing at her shoulder. "And there are tests that we had to take every so often and the higher the grade the better and the worse. When you got high grades you got a lot more intensive things to study but you also had a bit more freedom to do what you want."

"That kinda sounded like a double edged coin. More freedom but more things you have to study." Mary stated, fighting the urge to roll her eyes.

"And I'm waiting to hear the marvelous freedoms that was given to you as a hunter's child." John shot back, smiling despite himself.

Mary thought back to her own childhood, a lot of learning too, but also a lot of hands-on learning and being thrown into a hunt on her own for the first time when she was still a preteen.

She thought back to the calluses and cuts on her hands from handling various knives and machetes. About learning how to make silver bullets and witch killing bullets.

"It was fine." she finally said, looking away making John laugh at her.

"Yeah thought so." he said, shaking his head. Whatever else he was about to say was cut off when there was knocking on the door. "And there's my parents."

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	38. Chapter 38

Mary stared at the green smoothie in front of her, trying to gather the strength to drink it. She was aware that she was being laughed at, by whom she wasn't sure just yet and she would kick their ass later, but she remembered her own promise and slowly picked it up, taking small sips through the straw.

She heard her mom laugh, and she couldn't really kick her ass out of principle, it was the thought that counted.

"If I knew that this is what it would take for Mary to eat healthy, I would've pushed her to get pregnant a long time ago." Deanna jokes. Mary fought the urge to throw the smoothie at her, instead she focused on what she thought was maybe spinach.

She hates spinach.

It's only for six months. It's only for six months. Not to mention, it was for the baby. The baby, not her.

She really hates spinach.

"John was the same, I had to hide his vegetables in the meatloaf and covered in lots of sauce." Millie said, shaking her head with a smile. "Mary dear, are you alright?"

Mary was sure that her face matched the smoothie but she nodded, forcing herself to take another sip. "Fine. Just fine."

Samuel and Henry were sitting on opposite ends of her couch, the both of them looking stony faced and sullen. "Mary." her father strained. "How are you feeling?"

"Fine, I'm fine. Baby's fine." Mary said, running her tongue along the front of her teeth. She desperately wanted something to wash down the taste of the smoothie. "We actually got news about the baby."

At that her parents and his immediately came to attention, eyes on them. "Yes?"

Mary reached for Dean, who had been on her lap during this time, and gently took the picture from him, handing it to John so that he could spread it around. "Looks like he really is baby Samuel."

At that a grin broke on Samuels face and his entire posture relaxed as he quickly stood, going to the picture to look at it. "My namesake, I knew it."

Her mother was grinning as well, coming over to hug her as Millie and Henry shared a smile of their own. Henry shifted, looking at the picture as well.

"So I suppose that there'll have to be a third and fourth child if it means that Millie and I want to have our names used too?" he asked, trying to make a joke.

Mary thought about having a third and fourth child and blanched, shivering. "No." she said firmly. "Besides, Mr. Winchester. Dean's middle name is Henry."

Henry did soften at that, smiling. "It is?" he asked, his voice going soft and tender as he looked down at his grandson who was leaning back into Mary's chest.

Mary nodded, reaching up to place her hand on top of his head. "Dean Henry Campbell." she said, looking at John. "Winchester. Technically."

"Not according to that damned birth certificate." Samuel muttered under his breath, dodging Deanna's elbow as she tried to bury it in his side.

"Yes actually, that's something that we'd like to talk about." Henry said. Millie cleared her throat at that. "Something I'd like to talk about. We do want Dean and baby...Samuel to be a part of the family, we're going to need to take care of that."

"All it takes is going to a lawyer to get a legal document about that." Deanna told them. "And now that everyone knows about Mary and John, Samu-Sammy," she corrected herself. "Sammy can be named Winchester as well."

"Samuel Michael." Mary told her with a nod, seeing Millie smile at that. "Samuel Michael Campbell. Winchester."

"I heard that hesitation." John said to her, laughing. "Other than the gender, everything else is alright so far and we just need to keep a lookout."

"So should we talk about the other elephant in the room?" Deanna suggested, immediately putting Mary on edge. She put the smoothie to the side and wrapped her arms around Dean, pulling him in close. Dean looked up at her and she managed a small smile at him, just holding him close.

"We might as well." John said, looking at Mary once more before sitting in the other chair next to her.

Mary fought the urge to pick Dean up and go to her room, lock the door, and just bury the both of them in blankets. She was sure that Dean wouldn't mind.

"Fine." she said instead. "Let's talk."

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	39. Chapter 39

It almost seems like they've been talking about this for hours and Mary was more than drained and Dean was almost asleep on her lap.

"You are acting like it's the end of the world to be a member of the Letters." Henry half protested. "And quite frankly I have to say that it's a lot less dangerous than being a hunter."

"At least hunters are capable of defending themselves." Samuel shot back. "At least one grandchild is going to know how to handle a weapon."

"We are quite capable, we just choose not to." Henry defended. "Don't pretend that being a hunter is a safe occupation."

"It's not safe, but that's the whole thing, that we know what to do and how to handle it." Samuel said, fingers twitching slightly.

"Boys, time to zip up and relax." Deanna said, standing and moving between them. "This is just something we need to understand, Dean is going to become a Man of Letters, and Sammy is going to be a hunter."

"Wouldn't be bad to have both of them as hunters." Samuel muttered under his breath.

"Or both as a Man of Letters." Henry shot back at him, making Samuel start once more.

Everyone's voices started to blend together around her until it was all just an incessant humming surrounding her. All she could hear was her own heartbeat going faster and faster until it was overwhelming.

Feeling like she was no longer in control of her body, Mary just tightened her grip around Dean and held him to her, slowly moving towards her room. If anyone called her or called her name, she couldn't hear them.

She moved her and Dean to her bedroom, closing the door behind her, not sure if she had locked it or not. The both of them sat down on the edge of the bed, with her just staring off at some point in the distance.

All she could see is her Dean, getting farther and farther away from her. Becoming a Man of Letters and being initiated into it, having to follow their traditions and their customs.

All she could see was Sammy, baby Sammy that was in danger of not even being born. Her mind painted an image of him, giving him more of John's features than her own. All she could see was that child being raised the same way she had been.

Her children, her boys, her little boys. Being so driven and pushed into the supernatural with no choice. Having no other option, the exact opposite of what she had wanted.

She just wanted a normal life. She had just wanted to give her babies a normal life. No hunting. No Letters. No Supernatural.

Now she can't even do that. She doesn't even have a chance to give them a normal life. She's not even sure if she could even keep this pregnancy for the remainder of the time. She was a horrible mother and-

A sharp pain in her lower back cleared her thoughts just enough to come back to the present, bending over as her arms wrapped around her stomach.

"Mama?" she could hear Dean whisper to her, small hands touching her arm. "Mama?"

Mary breathed out slowly, looking down at her son. Dean looked worried and almost scared as he watched her. "Mama okay?" he asked her.

She wasn't even sure how to answer that, she wanted to comfort him and assure him but even she couldn't find the words to say. As she looked down at him, all she could see was him in the future. A Man of Letters, suited up and lost to her.

A whimper escaped her as she stared down at Dean who was starting to look more and more scared with each moment that she didn't answer. When she felt tears gather in her eyes she could see Dean start to cry as well.

"Mama." he whimpered, reaching for her. Mary immediately reached for him, holding him close, as close as she could. She could feel him start to cry and she rocked him back and forth, just holding him.

Gritting her teeth when another shot of pain rushed through her, trying to breathe through it. Letting one hand go she reached for her own stomach, trying to calm down for the baby's sake.

It wasn't working. Her heart was beating fast enough to shoot out of her chest and the pain was starting to grow. She couldn't breathe and her arms were starting to shake.

The last thing she saw before her vision went black was John coming into the room and rushing towards her.

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	40. Chapter 40

They ended up calling an ambulance for Mary and the baby, her condition was such that if something like this happened, she was to be taken to the hospital immediately.

Mary stared up at the ceiling, listening to the machines once more, she was too familiar with the whole thing now. All the patches that were attached to her and to her stomach, the beeping of the machines, everything about it was too familiar and drove her insane.

It was her fault that she was in this position again, that her baby was in this position again.

She wasn't a good mother, she can't keep Dean safe from the supernatural, can't keep him from the Men of Letters. She can't keep the baby in her belly without hurting him and this whole thing was hurting him.

She wasn't a good mother but she still had to try. She had to try something, anything to keep her sons away from this.

There had to be something that she could do, the Letters weren't all knowing as they claimed to be. They weren't all powerful as they thought they were.

Mary turned her head to look at the machines, trying to make heads or tails of what they were saying. She could hear John and her parents, and no doubt his parents, in the hallway talking to doctors in hushed tones.

She just needed to make sure that Sammy was okay, after that she could take any other step that was necessary.

She just needed to figure out what to do.

Breathing out evenly she slowly moved to sit up, pausing every few inches until she was sitting up completely. Leaning back into her pillow she looked up when the door opened and her mom came in.

"Hey." Deanna said, relief clear in her voice and face that faded quickly when she saw the look on Mary's face. She glanced back behind her and closed the door, crossing the room to sit with her, taking Mary's hand in hers. "What's wrong?"

Mary swallowed hard. "I can't do this." she whispered, feeling that her hands were clammy and shaking. "I can't do it."

"Sweetie, I know it's hard and I know it's scary, but you can do this." Deanna assured her. "Six months is not as long as you think it is, the time will fly by and Sammy will be here soon enough."

Mary shook her head. "That's not what I mean." she said. "I mean this whole Letters thing. The hunting thing. I-" her voice cracked and broke before she pushed on. "I don't want them to have anything to do with the supernatural. I don't want my sons to deal with this. I want them to be normal."

Deanna sighed, rubbing at her hand. "I know it's not ideal for Dean to become a letter," she said. "But it's not a bad thing either. And Sammy being a hunter, that's just continuing the tradition."

"But I don't want to continue that tradition." Mary told her. She could feel her chest tighten and her eyes water, anger filling her enough to make her hands shake even worse. "Mom don't you remember when I was a kid? You guys handed me a gun when I was five, I was learning how to make weapons when I was six. That's not normal."

"It's not normal because hunting is not the norm for people, but it is for us." Deanna said, shaking her head. "Mary, it's not ideal but it's something that needs to be done. I'm sorry, and I did try to protect you from the worst of it, but in the end. This is what we do. This is what Campbells do."

Mary just stared at her mother for a moment and then looked away, pulling her hand away from her. "Mind getting the doctor? I want to know that everything's fine."

"It is, we've already spoken to him." Deanna told her, trying to take her hand again. Mary pulled the blanket up instead to hide her hands under it. "You'll be released soon and be able to go back home."

"Good." Mary said, leaning back to lay down on the bed. "Can I just...be alone for a bit?"

"Of course." Deanna said, getting up and leaning over to kiss her forehead. "Mary, I know it's hard, but it's not as bad as you think sweetie. Trust me."

She didn't say anything.

The moment Deanna left the room Mary sat up again, reaching for the phone on the table next to her. She dialed a number she hasn't dialed in a while and waited with bated breath.

"Hello?"

"Hey Ellen." she said, looking down at her stomach and touching it gently. "It's Mary Campbell."

**I do not own Supernatural. **

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**I'm...not one hundred percent happy with this chapter. There is a chance I might change it, what do you guys think?**


	41. Chapter 41

Mary was quiet as John brought her back home, Dean in her arms holding onto her tightly. His little arms were wrapped around her neck with his face buried there. Her parents had gone home, they were called on a bit of an emergency hunting situation that they needed to take care leaving her to John's parents and John.

Millie had offered to take Dean from her so that she didn't have to carry him but she said no, not trusting anyone, maybe not even John, to have Dean away from her.

John was saying but she couldn't really listen, couldn't bring herself to listen to him. She was drained and at the same time wired, she was shaking slightly from an emotion that she couldn't name and didn't bother to try.

She moved to her bedroom, wanting to lay down for the time being. Not letting go of Dean she climbed into the bed, covering the both of them with her blanket. She had just laid her head down on the pillow when she heard someone knock at her door.

"Mary, dear?" Millie asked, poking her head into the room. She stepped in completely, keeping her distance as Mary slowly sat up to look at her. "Henry and I are going to leave soon, I just wanted to check on you."

Mary nodded, shifting Dean closer to her. She wasn't sure when he had fallen asleep but right now, he was deep asleep. She stared at John's mother for a moment, slowly remembering bits and pieces that she knew about her. "What was it like to have John become a Man of Letters?" she asked before she could stop herself.

Millie softened and closed the door completely, crossing the room to sit at the edge of Mary's bed so that they could actually talk to one another.

"Hard." she finally said, her voice soft. "For Henry it was expected, he knew what was going to happen from day one, he did it after all. But for me? It was a complete surprise and I had no idea what to expect."

"Henry and mine marriage is completely different from other Men of Letters marriages. He didn't hide anything from me, when we got serious enough that he was close to proposing to me, he told the truth about everything. About who he was, about what was out there, about all of it." she continued. "He said that if we were to be husband and wife, then he doesn't want to have any secrets between us."

"Watching John grow up as he did, I had to ignore a lot of thing for him." she went on. "He didn't go to public schools, he didn't have a chance to have a real childhood. Anything that I wanted to do with him I had to get permission. I wanted to take him to the movies, the movies were scrutinized to ensure that they were educational enough and most often it wasn't allowed. Clothes were only created with a group of tailors that worked with the Men of Letters. Toys weren't allowed because they were a distraction. All readings had to be approved. A whole list of everything that made me want to cry for how they didn't allow them to do."

Millie took a deep breath, smoothing out the front of her skirt. "I was an outsider from day one, no one really wanted to talk to me, it had to be through Henry. He had to be the one to talk to them on my behalf." she shook her head.

"If I had a chance to go back in time and do it over? I wouldn't, because I am very proud of my son and the man that he has become." Millie told her. "But I would've fought for more freedom for him and sneaked him out at times."

She looked at Mary, smiling as she reached out to pat her arm. "I know that I didn't do anything to reassure you right now, but I didn't want to sugarcoat it, it's not that bad, but it has its bad sides."

Mary nodded, staring down at the bed space between them. "I appreciate you being honest with me." she said. "Thank you."

"Of course dear." Millie said with a smile, getting up. "Do you need anything else?"

"Yeah, can you send John in here?" she asked. "I need to talk to him."

Millie nodded, turning to leave. She hesitated before she opened the door, looking at Mary over her shoulder. "You're a smart girl Mary, I know you'll figure it out."

She didn't wait for Mary to answer, leaving her room and gently barely closing the door behind her. Mary leaned back into the bed and waited, it didn't take long for John to appear, immediately going to her side.

Mary took a deep breath, looking him in the eyes. "We need to talk."

**I do not own Supernatural. **

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	42. Chapter 42

Despite being the one to call him into her room, she also wasn't in a hurry to start actually talking about it. She looked down at Dean asleep in her arms, making sure that he was comfortable and still asleep.

Taking a deep breath she looked up at John who had also been watching Dean but then met her eyes. He looked apprehensive at whatever she was going to tell him but waited patiently for her to start.

"I don't want Dean to become a Man of Letters." she told him. "It's not fair to him, that he's not even getting a choice in this. He's almost four years old and from what you told me, he's going to be forced to start learning next year."

"You keep talking like this is the worst thing to have ever happened," John said. "Mary, I'm a Man of Letters to be initiated, I'm happy with that and where I am."

"You were also ready to leave them and be with me and our sons if it came to that." Mary reminded him. "You've only changed your mind when those old fucks said we could be together so long as Dean became one of them."

John breathed out slowly, seemingly mentally counting in his head to remain calm. "Do you want to break up?" he asked tensely. "Because I don't know what else to do here."

"I don't want to break up, I love you, I just want our children to be safe." Mary told him. "I want them to have a choice. I want," her voice hitched but then she went on, "I want them to be safe and normal."

"Them being 'normal' was never going to happen." he told her gently. "Either your side or mine, and especially when it's combined, I don't think them being normal was ever really on the table."

"But that's why I want to put it on the table." Mary shot back. "Why can't you get it? I don't want Dean to be a Letters. I don't want Sammy to be a hunter. I want a simple normal life with taxes and a dog and the white picket fence but apparently this makes me the bad guy."

"This doesn't make you the bad guy Mary, but you need to understand." John said, trying to placate her. "We want to be together and as a result, we need to make some sacrifices."

"But we're not the ones making the sacrifice, the kids are." Mary injected. "We're sacrificing their childhoods and their future. They're not going to have a choice in this. What if Dean wants to go to college? Or what if Sammy wants to join the circus? They're not going to be able to because we threw their futures and choices away."

John had made a face about the circus and he had a point at that but she had just used that as an example. "We can deal with that when the time comes." he told her.

"That's a cop-out and you know it." Mary said. "I want to hear it from them, that if the boys want to change their minds or go on a different path or, I don't know, just decide to burn the bunker down that they can."

John breathed out slowly. "I can talk to them, but I'm going to be honest, don't get your hopes up that they're going to agree to it."

"So then why bother even asking them." Mary said bitterly, leaning back into the bed. "So that's it then, no choice whatsoever for the kids. Deans gonna be a Letter and Sammys gonna be a Hunter and that's it."

John sighed, closing his eyes and rubbing the bridge of his nose. "Mary," he said, trying to find the right words to say. "What do you want me to do?"

"I want you to protect our kids." Mary told him simply. "I want our boys to be happy and safe, away from the supernatural."

"Away from the supernatural is not an option, that's just something you need to understand." John said. "Everything else...I don't know. What do you want besides 'normal'?"

"A childhood." Mary said simply. "I want them to experience things that other children experience. I want them to go to school with the other kids, I want them to be on the record, with papers, and once they turn eighteen to be able to go to college if they want."

"Alright, they go to school, I'm sure they'll want to have after school activities, maybe a friend group or a sports team." John said. "Where does Deans Letters lessons come in and Sam's hunting lessons come in?"

"We'll control that." Mary told him. "We'll control it alongside their regular homework, increasing as they get older just like it was with you."

"You do know that the first lessons are the same subjects as any public school?" John asked her. "Because I think you believe we skip straight into Latin and lore."

"Wouldn't surprise me if you came out of your mom already ready to exorcize a demon." Mary told him. "But we'll be the ones teaching them and we'll decide how much or how little we should put on them. But school will come first."

"And it wouldn't have surprised me if you had come out of your mom with a machete in hand, poor Deana." John shot back at her. "Dean will be really behind compared to the other initiates."

"But he'll still be learning everything that he needs to in a timely fashion." Mary said, trying to keep any smugness out of her voice. "They want him to learn? Fine, but we'll choose his pace."

She could hear John breathe out through his nose. "I'll bring it up to them." he said. "Anything else?"

"Not at this moment." Mary said, staring at him. "You're acting like I'm the enemy that you're trying to negotiate with. Is what I'm asking for really that outlandish?"

"No, it's not." John conceded. He gave a heavy sigh. "I'll go talk to them, find out if there's any kind of spells that can help you to not miscarry while I'm there."

Mary nodded. "Alright." she said simply. "You know when you'll be back?"

"I'll try for tomorrow, if anything I'll call you." he said, leaning over to kiss her. Mary's hand came up to grip at the bottom of his shirt, letting the kiss linger for a few moments more before he pulled back. He reached out to gently touch her stomach and then to stroke Dean's face. "I love you."

"I love you too." Mary told him, falling back into the bed and holding Dean close to her as he left. She listened to make sure that he locked up and sighed, one hand going to her stomach and the other still on Dean.

"We're going to be okay." she told them. "We're going to be okay."

**I do not own Supernatural. **

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	43. Chapter 43

An hour after John had left, she had been watching the clock on her nightstand for lack of anything else, Mary then sat up, gently putting Dean down onto the bed completely.

She didn't have faith, that was the problem. She had no faith in that stupid council that John was going to speak to. They didn't want to deal with her, they didn't want to give her anything. The fact that she was demanding this wasn't going to work in their favor, she was sure they already hated her without meeting her, and just out of spite wouldn't agree to anything she wanted.

John could think whatever he wanted about her thoughts about the Letters and everything else, she knew that they held their own reservations and stereotypes about her and the other hunters out there.

Mary went into the kitchen, just staring at everything around her. Despite what they said, her parents weren't able to help her with this, they didn't like it but at the same time they weren't going to fight it. In fact they wished that both Dean and Sammy would be hunters, not just Sammy. They were disappointed that Dean was going to be a Letter and not a hunter.

She went to the refrigerator and took out a box of leftover pasta, eating it cold just to have something in her stomach. Once she was done she threw out the box and took a deep breath.

She had to prepare for anything at this point.

Going to the hallway closet she took out two pieces of luggage, leaving one in the hallway and taking the other to Dean's room. Slowly she started to pack away clothes and certain toys that Dean wouldn't miss for the next few days. The other things she could pack a quick bag for.

This is why she had called Ellen, she had started a small hideaway for her to get out if necessary. Ellen and her boyfriend Bill lived together in Nebraska. She could easily get to them, regroup herself, and then continue north to Canada, through South and North Dakota. She knew that the Men of Letters had hideaways all over the United States and as such, she couldn't remain there.

But Canada was a different story. The only Letters that were there were further north in the cold and they wouldn't touch her. She could claim some sort of reason to stay in Canada and have a life there for her and for Sammy.

She'd deal with it if it came to it. For now, she was just preparing for the need to quickly move in the middle of the night to start driving.

She'd never see her parents again most likely, and she'd never see John. Or at least until the boys were grown up and couldn't be forced to do anything that they didn't want to. It was going to be a lonely time but she could do it. For her boys, she could do anything.

A part of her wished that she could take John with her at least, that he would listen and work with her, but at the same time she knew, that he wasn't going to be willing.

He could say what he wanted, he was happy with the outcome. He was happy with Dean becoming a Man of Letters and the fact that he could be with his son and continue his legacy. She couldn't blame him for that, she did understand, but at the same time, she wasn't going to sacrifice Dean to this in any way.

Once she had finished putting his things into the luggage she put it into his closet, turning to look at the crib they had made for the baby. Was she going to be able to take it with her or was she going to need to get a different one?

Shaking her head she left and grabbed the second luggage, going into her room. After checking to make sure that Dean was still asleep she started to put her own things into it, making sure to rummage through all her drawers.

Once she was down she put the luggage in her closet, reaching down to grab her duffel bag that held all her weapons and placed it on top of the luggage. She stared at the two for a long moment before she swallowed hard and closed the door.

She had told Ellen everything, about John, about Dean, about the Letters, and everything in between. Her old friend had cursed at her for not keeping her in the loop for so long but immediately offered her home and whatever services she had to help.

Ellen was many things, crass and blunt and at times she had no problem slapping people around to get her point across. But she also had a heart of gold and once she was done yelling at someone, she'd move mountains to help them in anyway possible.

She knew that she could count on her when her chips were down.

But for now, all she could do is wait for John to come back and tell her whether or not the Letters would listen. All she could do is prepare for either outcome, either they said yes or they said no. She hoped that they would say yes, that she could stay here with John and their parents and be together.

But she was also prepared for them to say no and after that, she will immediately spring to action.

**I do not own Supernatural. **

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	44. Chapter 44

Mary just stared at the wall, not really seeing anything. Logically, she knew that she should get up and immediately start moving, start doing what she had planned to do.

What she had to do. For Dean. For Sammy.

She had planned, she had decided, she had made up her mind.

It was just...it was harder than she expected. Harder to realize that yes, she needed to do this.

_"Mary, hey, I just got back from talking to them."_

One step at a time. That's all she had to do. One step and then another. And another. And another. And another.

So she stood up from the couch. There, that was one step done. She took a step forward towards her room. That was another step done. She took another step.

Her hands went to her stomach, cradling the small bump as best as she could.

_"They said no, they're actually pissed off that we asked them about this."_

She finally managed to reach her room and went to pull out her luggage and duffel bag. She took out another bag and just went around the room to gather whatever she might've missed and anything else that she needed.

She then did the same for Dean's room, feeling her son's eyes on her as she moved around. From the corner of her eyes she could see that he was holding his stuffed kitty and was otherwise sitting quietly, just watching her.

She brought the luggage out to her car and put them into the trunk, making sure to keep the other two and a small bag of weapons next to her on the front seats.

She shook slightly, her legs shaking, and she reached out to grip at the car, giving herself a moment to steady herself before she went back inside.

_"Look, we'll get through this. We'll figure it out."_

She looked around the apartment, feeling a deep bone loss that she couldn't quite choke down. This had been their home, hers and Deans, ever since a couple months before he had been born. This is where she had planned to raise Sammy too.

This is where the possibility of her and John staying together was.

And actually leaving it...it was hard to really one hundred percent wrap her head around.

She closed her eyes and took a deep breath, going to Dean's room.

_"Let me just get back and we'll talk about this."_

"Mama?" she heard Dean call to her. She didn't say anything as she crossed the room and picked him up, just holding him close to her. He wrapped his arms around her, still holding onto his stuffed kitty.

"Mama?" Dean called to her again, curling in close to her. "Okay?"

"Yeah, yeah." Mary whispered, stroking his head. "Okay. Everything's okay baby." she kissed the side of his head, just holding him for another moment. "Everything is going to be okay."

_"Mary, it's going to be okay."_

Swallowing hard she started back towards the car, stopping for a moment to take one more look around the apartment, feeling something crack inside of her.

She turned away and locked the door, going to her car. She placed Dean into his carseat in the back, before she went into the driver's seat, just sitting there for a few silent minutes.

One step at a time, one step at a time.

_"Mary?"_

Mary took a deep breath and not letting herself think or look back, she turned the car on and got onto the road, driving straight towards Nebraska.

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	45. Chapter 45

Mary kept driving, not letting herself think too much about the whole thing. She stopped twice, once for gas and for the bathroom for them, and another time for lunch. They stopped at a small diner and Mary kept Dean on her lap the entire time, feeding him and taking small bites of her own meal.

She didn't have even a resemblance of an appetite but she had to eat. Dean was quiet, thank heaven for small mercies, but he kept looking at her for some sort of guidance, a clue of what she was feeling and how to react.

She managed to smile each time at him, pulling him close to her and just holding onto him. She tucked him under her chin and took a deep breath, sipping her water and nibbling at her salad.

She still hated salads.

Then they got back onto the road and kept driving. Once she entered Nebraska, she had checked and rechecked the maps to make sure they were going the right way, she finally spoke to Dean about Ellen.

"We're just going to visit a friend of mommy's." she told him, getting his attention from a small book he had been trying to read to her. "Her name is Ellen and she has a boyfriend, his name is Bill."

"Ellen. Bill." Dean repeated, reaching to grab his stuffed kitty once more. "Why?"

"Because we need to see them and after that we're gonna go somewhere else." Mary told him. "We're moving for a bit. We're gonna live somewhere else."

Dean blinked at her, his little brow furrowed. "Is daddy gonna come?" he asked. "Or meemaw, pawpaw?"

Mary swallowed hard to try to dislodge the lump in her throat. "I don't know." she said honestly. She didn't want to lie but at the same time she didn't want to get his hopes up. "But for now, it's just gonna be you and me."

"Me and mama." Dean repeated, hugging his kitty close to him. "Mama? Why did we gotta go?"

Mary tightened her grip on the steering wheel, trying to figure out the best way to tell him, or what to even tell him, how to explain all of this. "We had to go because," she took a deep breath. "Cause the people that daddy always goes back to? You remember him leaving and that he was going away? They wanted to take you too."

She could see Dean hold his kitty even closer to himself at that. "Me too?" he asked, his voice cracking. "Why?"

"Cause you're a special boy, cause you're daddy's boy." Mary told him. "So they wanted to take you so that they could have you and daddy."

Dean rubbed at his eyes at that, a small whimpering sound escaping him. "I don't wanna go to them." he mumbled.

Mary brought them to the side of the road, parking half on the gravel side and parked the car, turning so that she could reach out for him. Dean undid his harness in his car-seat and climbed the rest of the way over, all but falling into her arms and curling into her.

"I know." she whispered, rocking him back and forth. "I don't want you to go to them either. So that's why we left. It's why we're going somewhere else so that you and Sammy don't have to go to them."

Dean whimpered, burying his head in her chest. "But daddy…wants me to?"

"I don't know, he's a part of it and his daddy is a part of it." Mary said, omitting a part of it. She had a feeling that John had wanted Dean to become a Letter more than he was letting on but she didn't want to tell Dean that. "But I didn't want you to become a part of it."

"I don't wanna." Dean mumbled, clinging to her. "Is daddy gonna come with us? Doesn't he love us?"

"He loves us." Mary quickly assured him. "He does, and as soon as we move completely I'm going to let him know. But then he has to choose to leave the group and come to live with us instead."

"He's gotta." Dean mumbled. "He's gotta come with us."

At that, Mary didn't have an answer. She just rocked him back and forth, staring out the window and rubbing his back.

When Dean finally managed to calm down and she opened a bottle of water for him to drink from and clean his face, she kissed the top of his head and carefully put him back into the backseats so he could hasten himself in again.

"Alright, lets keep going." she said as she got them onto the road and back towards Ellens.

Driving past the fields and towns she managed to finally reach a large almost house, it was where Ellen and Bill had moved to, getting it on a steal according to her, and the first floor was completely open while the second floor had the bedrooms for them.

She had no idea what they were planning to do with the first floor, maybe a game room or something.

Parking outside she took a deep breath and looked back at Dean. "Ready baby?" she asked him softly.

Dean just held his kitty closer to him, gently chewing on its ear.

"Right." Mary said with a nod as she got out of the car and went to the backseat to take him out gently. Dean allowed her to move him and held him close, his hand coming up to grip at her shirt.

"They're nice, they're really nice." she comforted him as she locked the car and went up to the house. She shifted Dean to one arm and brought the other up, half knocking half banging on the door.

Mary stepped back to look around for a moment before the door opened.

Ellen stared at her, eyebrow raised. Despite drowning in, most likely her boyfriends, over-shirt she was still a presence to be reckoned with. When her eyes went to Dean who was half cowering in her arms her face softened.

"Hey there Campbells," Ellen said, stepping to the side to give them room to enter. "Welcome to the future Roadhouse."

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	46. Chapter 46

Ellen put down a bottle of beer in front of her and a bottle of water in front of Mary. Mary tried not to stare longingly at the beer, wondering if it would be weird if she asked Ellen if she could just smell it.

She opened her water bottle and sipped at it instead, hand going to her bump and rubbing it.

Six more months. Just six more months.

"So," Ellen said, putting her feet up on the future counter as she took a pull from her drink. "You're in a-" she glanced towards where Dean was with Bill, the older man was gently holding Dean's hand and showing him around. Thankfully Dean had easily warmed to him and was walking around the roadhouse in wonder. "-screwed up situation."

"That's still not a safe curse word." Mary told her as she drank her water. "But to put it gracefully, yes."

Bill came up to them, holding Dean to his chest almost like a teddy bear with stars in his eyes. Mary held her arms out for him, eyes narrowing when he didn't hand him over.

"I want one." he said with a smile, going to Ellen's side who just snorted at him. "Ellie, I want one. Let's have one."

"Tell you what, you can have as many as you want if you're the one pushing them out." Ellen said, poking him in the chest. "Otherwise, until that day, I decide on the when and how many."

"I'm sure that it's not that bad, I'm sure it was somewhat easy. Mary's doing it twice, I'm sure she would've done it a second time if the first one wasn't that bad." Bill tried to argue.

Mary felt her eye twitch, as much as she adored and loved both of her babies and would easily lay her life on the line for them, they weren't exactly planned pregnancies for either of them. And while Dean had been a bit easier to carry, the birth wasn't something she was looking forward to doing a second time.

Not to mention the possible miscarriages that she now had a history of just added to the stress while she wasn't supposed to be stressing.

"My previous statement stands, you give birth or you'll wait when I'm ready." Ellen told him. "Until then, just enjoy the time with him."

Bill looked like he was about to protest once more but closed his mouth, moving away. "C'mon Dean, let's explore more."

Mary watched him leave, tapping her fingers against the water bottle. "My baby." she said. "Since when does Bill want kids?"

"Since meeting yours apparently." Ellen said dryly. "I know he wants to put a ring on me first but I'm not giving birth anytime soon."

"Sorry about adding the pressure to you." Mary said, sipping her water. "So you want to make a roadhouse out of this place?"

"Yeah, make it like a hunter's gathering place or something." Ellen said looking around. "Beer, sports, and lore. What more do you need?"

"Nothing else." Mary agreed, smiling slightly before her smile faded. "Ellen,"

"Say no more, I did what you asked." Ellen injected, reaching under the makeshift bar and pulling out a folder which she slid to her. Mary caught it and opened it, staring at the papers inside.

"Apartment for sale, got you in, with a check underneath for a few months of rent." Ellen said. "You said you didn't want a new identity so I didn't bother with that. Reach out to a group of hunters out there that'll know to expect you."

Mary tenderly picked the check up out of the folder, sliding it back to her. "I can't take this part."

Ellen placed her hand on it and forcefully pushed it back to her. "Yeah you can. I owe you, remember?"

"And you've paid me back with all of this." Mary said tapping the folder. "I can't take money from you."

"Yes you can." Ellen corrected her before she smirked. "For Dean."

Mary paused at that, gritting her teeth. "You dirty playing bitch." she muttered as Ellen's smirk widened. "Fine. But I'll be paying you back."

"Sorry, return to the address." Ellen said, taking her beer and drinking from it again. "So, what are you going to do about that letter of yours?"

Mary carefully tucked the check back into the folder, taking a moment to answer. "I don't know." she said quietly.

"Are you going to let him know?" Ellen asked. "Or your parents?"

"I don't know." Mary repeated, unable to bring herself to look up at her. "Right now, I'm taking things one step at a time. Get Dean away from the Letters and out of their possible reach. After that...I don't know."

Ellen shook her head but didn't say anything, reaching down to grab another paper and pushing it at her. "Here's a map, outlined the best way for you to get to Canada." her finger followed the dark line she had made. "Two states only but they're big, North and South Dakota."

"We'll make it." Mary said softly, her eyes following the way and doing the math in her head. "Ten and a half hours, give or take. Might need to stop for the night somewhere." she rubbed at her eyes. "Wish I could just drive there straight."

"Why not? I know you've done all nighters before."

Mary's hand went to her stomach. "Need to take care of myself so that this one is taken care of." she said softly. "I'm not risking losing him."

Ellen nodded at that, sighting as she glanced at Bill who was explaining to Dean what each and every disc inside of the jukebox was. "Yeah," she said, her voice soft and fond. "I get that." she looked back at Mary and brought her beer up, which Mary copied and tapped against hers. "Good luck Mary.

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	47. Chapter 47

They got back onto the road and continued on, aiming to get as much distance done as they could before they'd have to stop to get some rest.

At least that had been the plan before Mary noticed there was smoke coming out from under the cars hood.

"Mama! Smoke!" Dean told her helpfully.

"I know baby, I see it." Mary said immediately going to the side of the road and turning the engine off. She reached for her bag, grabbing a bandanna and her gun. She wrapped the bandanna around the lower half of her face and tucked the gun under her shirt into her pants.

Taking a deep breath Mary carefully opened the top part of her car, stepping back and waving the smoke away from the engine as best as she could, wishing she had a magazine or something to use. She had to wait a few seconds before the smoke disappeared before she could look into it, shifting the bandanna more into place on her face.

She...didn't even have the first idea of what to do here. Staring helplessly at the engine and everything else, she tried to figure out what could be done. She needed to check the map and atlas, maybe there was a gas station close by that they could walk to and then find someone to call for help. There had to be some sort of mechanic around here.

Mary went back into the car, going to her glove compartment and pulling out the map and book, trying to figure out where they were exactly. She looked around them to see some sort of sign or tried to remember anything that they had passed to no avail.

"Mama?" Dean asked, leaning over the seats to look at the map intently as well. "Okay?"

Mary smiled at him, reaching up to stroke his head. "Everything is fine." she assured him. "Just gotta think for a bit."

She got out of the car again, holding the map in hand as she looked around, not even seeing a highway marker or anything that could tell her where she was. The last gas station she had passed was back in Nebraska about three hours ago so logically there had to be another one just upcoming that they could find a phone.

A truck was driving on the road and started to slow down, stopping a few feet away from her. She could see the outline of a man lean over to roll the window down, looking down at her. "You need some help ma'am?" he called out to her.

She leaned back enough to feel the gun tucked into her pants under her shirt and nodded. "If it's not too much trouble." she called back, shoving the map back into the car.

The man parked and got out, reaching to grab a toolbox from somewhere next to him, and went to her side as the two of them started to look into the car's engine.

She knew the basics about cars, she knew how to deal with the simple things. Anything that required a lot more work, she would usually go to a mechanic.

She needed a tow, that was she and the trucker, "Call me Kev ma'am," came to the conclusion. Someone with a lot more experience than the two of them combined with proper tools.

"I got a radio and I know the man for ya." Kev told her, straightening up and wiping his hands on the side of his pants. "I'll make the call for ya."

"Thank you." Mary said earnestly. She looked into her car to see Dean was halfway to hanging out the window with wide eyes as he stared at the truck next to them. "Dean."

Dean turned to the man with almost stars in his eyes. "Truck." he whispered in awe.

She heard Kev laugh at that, smiling and shaking her head. "You get that a lot?" she asked him.

"Mostly on the road, they do the," he brought his arm up, moving it up and down. "So that I sound the horn."

"Can you?" Dean asked excitedly, making her go around to him to lightly push him back into the car before he fell out. He fell back into his seat but then immediately got back up, looking out the window.

"Let me make the call and then I'll see." Kev said, smiling as he walked back around to the drivers side. She could hear a radio crackle and someone else answered, static crackling. Kev climbed back out and went to her side again.

"Alright, he said he'll be here in about twenty minutes." Kev told her. "Want me to wait here with you?"

"No, thank you for all of this." Mary said with a smile. "You have no idea how much I appreciate this."

"Not a problem ma'am." Kev said, nodding at her. He winked at Dean as he walked back to his side, getting in and closing the door. Mary watched Dean's face fall as the truck started to pull away.

When the truck got onto the road and was a few feet away the horn sounded, loud and blaring across the area. Dean laughed in delight, giggling and waving at the truck as it continued to drive until it was gone.

Mary laughed as well, it was a bit contagious and she needed to smile, and opened the back door so that she could sit and wait with Dean on her lap at least. She patted the spot where her gun was and tried to relax, just holding onto her son.

After what felt like an eternity, but looking at her watch told her that it was in fact only twenty minutes, there was another car coming towards them, a tow truck. She breathed out a sigh of relief and put Dean back down onto the seat, standing up and getting out of the car.

Mary lifted her hand to the tow truck and walked back to the front, glaring at the engine as if she could will it to be fixed with just a single look.

It worked with Dean, why wouldn't it work with the engine?

She heard the truck come up to them and stop, and then the sound of the driver getting out and walking towards her. She turned to look at him and froze, seeing the same look of stunned disbelief that she was sure was on her face.

"Bobby?" she exclaimed, feeling her chest tighten slightly.

Bobby Singer stared back at her in shock. "Mary."

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	48. Chapter 48

Mary was quiet as Bobby drove them back to his house that doubled as his shop, keeping Dean on her lap. Neither of them spoke and she swore that you couldn't cut the tension with the sharpest knife. She glanced up when they reached a mechanics yard, passing the sign that said "Singer Salvage."

He stopped the tow truck in place, not looking at her before he spoke. "You guys can get out here, I'll bring the car in more into the garage to take a look." he said.

Dean tugged at her shirt, getting her attention. "Mama," he whispered to her. "I need the bathroom."

She heard Bobby breathe a laugh at that. "You can go inside, bathrooms on the second floor, first door to the right."

"Thanks." Mary managed to get out, stepping out of the car. She held Dean closer to her as they walked into the house, swallowing hard. The house was a bit of a mess, papers and books placed haphazardly around. She stayed firmly away from the kitchen and went upstairs, following his directions until they reached the bathroom. She set Dean on the ground.

"Alright baby, remember to wash your hands." she told him as he walked in, closing the door for him.

Mary rested her head against the wall next to the bathroom, softly banging it against the wood. She closed her eyes and placed her hands on top of her stomach.

Why? Of all the places to stop, of all the places for her car to break down and the only mechanic in the next at least hundred miles, did it have to be Bobby Singer? In all of the United States, how did it end up that she was going to not only run into him but need his help?

She believed in karma and universal justice, she just never believed that she had done something that was deserving of it.

She took a deep breath and slowly let it out, moving away from the wall and straightening up just as the doorknob jiggled and she opened the door for Dean to come back out. She picked him up again and just held him, letting him curl into her as she came back downstairs, stopping when she saw Bobby coming in.

"Your radiator has a hole in it." Bobby told her, tossing aside a greasy stained piece of cloth. He still wasn't looking at her. "Left unfixed it'll get bigger until either your engine falls through or the smoke causes it to break down. A temporary fix will plug it for a bit, no telling how long it'll last."

"What about a permanent fix?" Mary asked him, marveling at how her voice wasn't shaking.

"Replace the whole radiator. That'll take a while, need to order a radiator that'll fit your car and then take out the old one and put the new one." Bobby told her. "It'll take at least a couple of weeks and your car won't run until then."

Mary swallowed hard, mind whirling as she tried to figure out what to do and how much time she had to spare and just how much of a distance they still needed to cross.

The answer was, not that much. And in terms of distance…

She was sure that there would be another mechanic on the way to Canada that she could stop at if she needed more work. She just needed to pay more attention to the signs she passed to know where she was.

And a communicative radio wouldn't be a bad idea either.

"Can you do a temporary fix?" she asked, wishing she had her hands free to fidget with her fingers. "We're kinda on a tight schedule."

"Yeah I figured as much." Bobby said much to her surprise. "Your dad called me to see if I heard from you lately 'bout an hour ago."

Mary breathed out slowly, tightening her grip on Dean. "Did he?"

"Yep, told him the truth, that we haven't spoken since that...I don't know if it can even be called a date, it was a lunch meeting." Bobby said, finally looking up at her. "You two running away?"

"Something like that." Mary said, this time breaking eye contact to look away. "It's a long story."

"It's gonna take a bit to fix the car, even if it's a temporary fix." Bobby told her. "We got time."

"How about you fix my car and as you do, I'll talk to you." Mary told him. "We're on a schedule."

Bobby stared at her for a long moment before he turned and walked back outside. Mary hesitated for a moment before she followed him, breathing out a small sigh of relief as he led them to his small makeshift garage where her car was. He grabbed his tool-belt and leaned over her engine, giving her a pointed look.

Mary sighed as she put Dean back into the backseat of the car, letting him go so that he could crawl over to his things and rummage through them for his book.

"It's about his dad." she said softly as she walked over to Bobby's side as he worked. She had no idea what he was doing but he seemed to know how to fix it, she was just going to have to take his word for it. "He's a Man of Letters, you know about them?"

"Mostly what I've heard from other people, not the best grouping." Bobby said, getting up to grab a silver bottle from the shelf, pouring it into her radiator. "How'd you get entangled with them?"

"We were the same age and we saw each other a bit." Mary said, glancing through the windshield to see Dean calmly sitting there reading. "Getting pregnant...was a surprise we weren't expecting."

"And then it happened twice? Or is he not the dad to this one?" Bobby asked her. "Is that why you're on the run?"

Mary felt like hitting him. "He's the dad to both of them." she said coolly. "And this one is as much of a surprise as Dean was."

She could hear Bobby mutter something under his breath but couldn't make it out, gritting her teeth. "The Men of Letters want Dean to become one of them." she told him after composing herself after a moment. "And the dad is on board so...we're on the run."

"And where are you going to go?" Bobby asked, giving her a pointed look over her engine. "This'll only take you so far and if you want to constantly be moving, that'll take a lot of money. And you've got another in the oven. Don't have that many options here Mary."

"We'll figure it out." Mary said, omitting the fact that she did have a plan. "We just need the car to get us where we need to go."

"And where's that?"

"We'll figure it out." she repeated firmly. "Just...please fix the car."

Bobby was definitely muttering something under his breath but he worked on her engine, falling silent.

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	49. Chapter 49

The good news just kept on coming.

"Radiator is rusted in, I can't get to it to fix it and I can't move it to get to the hole. Worst part is that the inside is all ruined, it's not holding anything and a patch isn't going to work." Bobby told her. "You're going to need a new radiator."

Mary stared at him as she processed the words, slowly moving to bury her face in his hands. "Don't suppose you can order a rush job."

"Could, but it'll still take at least three days." Bobby told her. "My opinion? Wait the three days and get a new radiator."

Mary looked at the area around them, eyes lingering on the vast amount of cars around them. "And you can't just get a radiator from one of these cars and replace it with mine?"

"Each one is different to the car model it's for, I don't have your model here." Bobby said. "Mary it's just three days."

"It's three days that we don't have." Mary said, running her fingers through her hair. "What's my other options?"

"You can buy a different car, I can't sell any to you but I know the man in charge of the used cars in town, he'll get you a good deal but it'll still be a lot of money." Bobby said. "Or if you know where you want to go you can get a train or plane ticket."

Mary swallowed hard and looked to where Dean was sitting among his stuffed kitty, book, and a small blanket. She tried to imagine getting through a train or plane with all their belongings and weapons without raising suspicion.

It didn't paint a pretty picture for her or for Dean.

She tried to figure out her money situation, she needed the check that Ellen had given her for Canada to get an apartment and live off until she could get another job, maybe longer depending on the baby. She was on her own for money and her savings didn't entitle her to be able to get a car, used or not.

She didn't have any other choice, even a rented car wasn't a good idea, she didn't want to leave some sort of trace and all her fake ids were back at her apartment because her parents and John knew every single fake name she used. She was going to have to wait for a radiator.

"Alright, point us in the direction of the nearest motel and order the radiator. Stat." Mary said with a sigh, rubbing at her eyes and standing up. Her hand went to her stomach and rubbed at it as well, hoping that the baby was okay.

"You don't need a motel, you and the kid can stay here." Bobby said quietly, staring at the ground. "If you want to. At least to save on some money."

Her pride wavered but if she had learned something in the past fourish years of being a mom, she needed to swallow her pride at times and do what was best for Dean and the baby.

"Alright." Mary agreed quietly. "Thank you."

Bobby nodded, muttering something about placing the order for the radiator. He turned to leave, hesitating for a moment. "There's a guest room upstairs, third door to the right. You two can stay in there for now."

"Thank-" Mary started to say only for Bobby to go into the other room without waiting for her to finish. "-you."

Sighing Mary went to get Dean from his place in the backseat where he had been patiently waiting for her to get him from his book. He looked up at her, holding his arms out so that she could pick him up. Hoisting him up he curled into her chest, small fists curling into her shirt.

"We going?" he asked her, playing with the buttons of her flannel.

"Not yet, car is broken so we gotta wait." Mary told him, bringing him back into the house. "Bobby is a car doctor so he's gonna take care of it and then we'll go."

Dean's eyes were wide at that, looking around in wonder at the other cars. "Car doctor." he whispered. "I wanna be a car doctor."

"Maybe you will be." Mary said, kissing the top of his head. "So we gotta be here for a couple of days while he fixes the car, alright?"

Dean nodded at that, transfixed at what he was seeing. "Car doctor." he whispered once more, curling back into her.

She'd come back for their things a bit later, right now she just wanted to hold onto her son for a bit and try to think things through now that there was this bump.

Maybe there was a library in town she could go to and find some phone books for Canada, start calling around to see if there were any jobs she could apply to.

Bobby's phone rang and between the second and third ring he answered, "Singer Salvage." he greeted, frowning at the voice on the other end of the line. "Afternoon Mr. Campbell."

Mary froze at that, slowly turning to look at him. Dean looked up at her as well, possibly from hearing her heart skip a beat at the mention of her dad's name.

"This is the second time you've called, is everything alright?" Bobby asked. Dimly she could hear her dad's voice, and that made her chest tighten at the sound, but she couldn't make out what he was saying.

Bobby listened to whatever her dad was saying, looking over at her for a long moment, a guarded look in his eyes.

"It's like I said before, I haven't seen her since we had lunch that one time." Bobby told him, and slowly Mary breathed out, feeling the knot inside of her loosen slightly. "But I'll keep an eye out and if I hear or see something I'll let you know."

Mary glanced at the watch on her wrist, counting off the hours since she had left. Ten hours give or take and already her parents were contacting people, of all people they contacted Bobby who they knew she'd only met once. She was sure that they had already called Ellen too, she had no fear that the other woman would cover for her, probably with a few choice words she couldn't use in front of Dean.

She wondered how long it would be until they bit the bullet and contacted the police. As hunters they only went to the police when it was the last thing they had with no other choice.

She heard Bobby hang the phone up and she could feel his eyes on her, questioning and curious.

"Just get the radiator here as soon as possible." she told him before going upstairs to the room he had mentioned.

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	50. Chapter 50

Turns out, Sioux Falls did in fact have a good library. The even better side was that it was connected to the town's college so they even had more card catalogs than a normal one would.

She borrowed a car from Bobby and went into town, taking Dean with her. She loaded up on children's books and a few phone-books for her. They sat at a table together and he giggled when she winked at him.

It almost felt like when she had done research with her mom when she had been a kid, role reversal right now, but at least nothing here was about the supernatural.

They worked together, with her writing in her notebook and Dean working on his reading abilities. The end result was three pages of phone numbers that she could call about potential jobs. They would all be temporary, or hopefully understanding about her pregnancy, but it was a start somewhere.

Staring down at her notes Mary took a deep breath, tapping her pen against the table as she thought. Even though they were on this road, every step she took just made it all the more real that they were in fact doing this. That the two, three, of them were running away from everything they knew.

It almost felt like she could still turn around and go back to Lawrence, like she could go home and tell everyone that she had just gone out with Dean for the day.

She looked at Dean, who was squinting at his own book as he tried to mouth the words, and felt her heart twist at the sight of him.

God she wished she knew what to exactly do. She wished to know if what she was doing was the right thing. If this what was best for Dean and Sammy.

Shaking her head she pushed her books away from her getting Deans attention on her.

"Mama?" he called out to her questioningly.

Mary just smiled at him, reaching out to stroke his hair. "You want to go eat lunch baby?" she asked, trying to figure out what they were going to do for lunch. She saw a McDonald's in town and also a diner, but Dean would be happier with the former.

Dean nodded, holding his book out. "Mama can we take this too?" he asked her.

The real answer was no, they didn't have a library card and even if they did she most likely wasn't going to remember to return them. She looked around them and took the book, sliding it into her bag. She held her finger to her lips and Dean grinned at her as she gathered her own notes as well.

"C'mon sweetie, let's get something to eat." she said, getting out of her seat and picking him up. They left the library and she paused at the massive rainstorm that had suddenly appeared.

"Well...that escalated quickly." she said, staring at the wall of rain that was coming down. She looked across the street to where the car was parked and then down at Dean who looked back at her.

Taking a deep breath she moved to take her jacket off and did her best to cover the both of them with it, and ran as best as she could to the car, fumbling with the keys before getting the both of them into the driver's seat.

Dean rubbed at his face at the spare drops that had managed to get on his face. "Wet." he mumbled. Mary smiled and turned the heat on, using her jacket to dry off whatever landed on him.

"We'll go through the drive through." she said to herself as she helped Dean put the seat-belt on as best as he could. She hadn't taken the car seat from her car so for the time being all he used was the seat-belt and she drove carefully.

She drove them to the McDonald's and got the both of them a meal, hesitating a moment before getting Bobby a meal too and not just to smell a hamburger in lieu of her salad. Dean was cheered up by the promise of chicken nuggets.

By the time they got the food through the window, the rain started to come down even harder, making her windshield wipers completely almost useless.

"Where the hell did this storm come from, is this normal for the north?" she muttered under her breath as she got back onto the road, driving as slowly as she could and dared to.

After what seemed like an eternity they finally managed to reach Singer's Salvage and she grabbed the bag with the food and everything else, helping Dean climb over so that she could carry him.

Just as she was about to try to run she saw a dark figure coming to the car and she unlocked the door, letting Bobby cover her with the umbrella in his hand as he reached for her and helped her out. He held onto her and the umbrella as they ran into the house as fast as they could.

Mary let out a deep breath as they finally came into the house, going into the kitchen so that she could unload the food out. "Is this normal, this kind of weather?"

"At least once a year, you just came into the bad end of it." Bobby said, shaking the umbrella to get rid of the water on it. "Roads are flooded out-state and the rains not gonna let up for at least two days."

Mary closed her eyes, already not liking where this is going. "So that means that…"

"The radiator isn't gonna come for at least a week now." Bobby said. "So, you're gonna wait a lot longer to get out of here."

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	51. Chapter 51

The rain wasn't letting up even the next day and Mary was starting to get cabin fever. She had taken to going out onto the porch that was covered just to get outside for a bit. Dean was mesmerized by watching the rain and the ground slowly fill with water.

He also wanted to go out and play in the water and mud but she kept a firm grip on the back of his shirt to make sure that he didn't run away.

Bobby came out, holding a small tray with three cups. "Made tea for you and hot chocolate for the kid." he said, handing the cups out. "Figured it must be cold out here."

"Thank you." Mary said, carefully helping Dean to wrap his hands around the cup. "Dean?"

"Thank you." he said, smiling widely up at Bobby as he sipped at his hot chocolate. She let go of him enough so that he could sit on the top step of the porch, just staring out and legs swinging out in front of him as he watched the rain fall.

Bobby watched him for a few seconds. "Easy to entertain, huh?"

"He gets into these kind of things like this, especially if we don't have it back in Kansas." Mary told him. "Like rain that lasts for days that rival Noah's arc."

"I already told you, this is normal up here." Bobby said, rolling his eyes. "You midwesterners see one drop of rain and panic."

"We got our guns, that's all we need." Mary said, adopting a slightly southern accent. She took a sip of her drink. "I just want to get moving again."

"Right. Your little road trip to nowhere." Bobby said, shaking his head. "You really don't have a plan on where to go?"

"I have a plan." Mary told him, not wanting to go into details with him. "I do, all I need is my car."

Bobby looked at her for a moment and sighed, looking away. "All I'm saying is, you need a hell of a lot more than a simple plan when it comes to bringing a kid and a soon to be infant with you."

"I have a plan." Mary stressed. "Were you ever able to get in contact with the company for the radiator?"

"Yep. They're not taking a chance to send out a car to deliver it so mails on hold for now." Bobby told her. "So I'm not sure when we're going to get it."

Mary closed her eyes and gripped her cup of tea tightly. Mentally, she tried to figure out how much it would cost to just rent a car to get to Canada. "And there's nothing else you can do for the car?"

"No. A leaking radiator is a ticking time bomb cause you never know when it's gonna just collapse." Bobby said. "Even if I do a wrap there's no telling how long it'll hold."

Mary shook her head. "Fine, we'll wait a bit longer." she said. "But...is there anyway that we can speed it up in the slightest."

Bobby gestured upwards to the sky. "Sure, go ahead and yell at the sky, see where that gets you."

Mary shot him a look but didn't say anything else, just keeping an eye on Dean and drinking in silence.

"So the daddy is a man of letters," Bobby started, making her tense up. "And you're running away from your family too. What happened?"

Taking a deep breath Mary moved her jaw from side to side before she spoke. "It was a secret relationship that we didn't think was going to go anywhere. But things escalated and eventually...it came out. So to calm both sides an agreement came, without my permission, that Dean would become a Man of Letters and this baby would become a hunter."

"And...you don't like that?" Bobby asked.

"I want them to have a normal life. Being a Man of Letters, being a hunter, means that all chances of normalcy goes out the window." Mary said quietly. "But no one seemed to get that. My parents thought that I was mad about Dean being a Man of Letters and not a hunter. And the dad didn't really see a problem with Dean being a Man of Letters. I think the old men in charge were upset that they couldn't get both of the kids."

Mary looked up at Dean who was reaching his hand out in wonder to try to grab the rain drops that were falling from the edge of the roof. "The second that I learned that I was pregnant, I knew that I didn't want the kid to be a hunter, I just wanted for my kids to have a normal life and go to school without bruises or tired because they were up half the night making witch killing bullets."

"Can't say I blame you, if I had a choice in it I wouldn't have wanted to be in this life either." Bobby said quietly. "So now...you're on the run with a kid and one on the way trying to escape your parents and the men of letters, that I've heard have fingers and connections all over the country and world."

"I have-"

"A plan." Bobby finished for her. "Yeah, you've said. But Mary...you're on your own essentially. Not your parents, not the kid's dad, no one."

"I'm aware." Mary said her voice tense.

Bobby stared at her and shook his head once more, clearing his throat. "So how's the pregnancy treating you?"

"Bad." Mary said honestly. "I'm actually on risk of having a miscarriage."

Bobby immediately turned to her completely. "What?"

"Apparently my body is trying to forcibly expel my baby from me six months too early." Mary said. "Had to be in the hospital twice already. I'm told to keep the stress down to a minimum as much as possible."

"And yet...you're doing all of this...now." Bobby said slowly. "When you're supposed to be resting and not...doing this!"

Mary just gave a thin and tight smile. "Yeah I know." she said. "So you can imagine how much I want my car back right now."

"Forget the car, you need to settle somewhere and just wait for that baby to come out." Bobby said, waving his hand around. Dean turned around to look at him and Mary raised an eyebrow, silently warning him to watch what he said.

He took a moment to compose himself. "Mary, as your friend, I suggest that you stop this road trip and...I don't know, just stay and wait!"

"Can't, won't. Car." Mary told him. "Besides, my parents know a lot of my places around the area that I was in and a few out there so I really can't stay for a while."

Bobby stared at her, taking his hat off and running his fingers through his hair. "Then…" he trailed off as he tried to figure out what to say. "You can stay here with me."

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	52. Chapter 52

Mary stared at him for a few silent moments, processing what he had said. She blinked and said, "No."

"Why not?" Bobby demanded. "I'm lying to your parents about you not being here. You said so yourself you need to relax and keep calm, no stressing. Mary, going out onto the road with a kid and uncertainty is kinda stressful."

A bit more than kinda she would admit to herself, but she did have an endgame planned. She just needed to get to Canada and after that they'd be fine.

"Bobby I appreciate this." Mary said softly. "But this really doesn't...you don't have to offer that."

"Yes I do." Bobby shot back. "Mary you're my friend and you're in a really scr-" he glanced at Dean. "horrible position."

"And I'm dealing with it as best as I can." Mary said.

"No you're not!" Bobby cut her off. "I'm offering you help! I'm offering you a chance to relax and take it easy until that baby is outta you."

"Six months is a long time for you to put me and my kid up." Mary reminded him. "Because I'm only at three months."

"Six months isn't as long as you think it is." Bobby shot back.

"I also need to be in touch with some sort of doctor about this." Mary brought up. "I have to have a lot of appointments to make sure that the baby is okay."

"As if we don't have any doctors and have to mosey into town that takes a three day horse ride." Bobby said sarcastically. "We have one of those women doctors and word in town says that she's a good one."

Mary resisted the urge to throw her cup of tea at him. "Bobby-"

"I don't believe in god anymore, if he exists then I don't give a damn." Bobby cut her off once more. "But there was no coincidence that your car broke down right where I live. I'm supposed to help you Mary and I ain't just talking about your car."

They heard the phone ring from the inside and the both of them turned to look towards it. Bobby shot her a look before he went back inside, talking to someone in a low voice.

Mary sighed, rubbing at her eyes as she looked at Dean who was staring back at her curiously. He sipped at his hot chocolate. "Mama?"

"Yes baby?" Mary said, managing a smile at him. She set her cup to the side on the porches wood and held her arms out to him. Dean quickly scurried to her, putting his cup next to hers so that he could climb up onto her lap and curl into her chest.

Mary wrapped her arms around him and tucked him under her chin, just holding him close.

It was appealing, what Bobby was suggesting. Staying in one place like this, away from anyone that might know her, just wait for Sammy to get here and then move on with the three of them, no longer afraid that any wrong move would end up in a miscarriage.

But she couldn't bring herself to say yes. She couldn't ask that of Bobby, all that stress on him and all that responsibility, because no matter what he was going to have a responsibility.

Despite what he said, six months were still a long time, even longer when you were waiting for something especially as important as a baby.

But she was also dependent on him for her car. She needed him to fix it and she had no qualm in believing that he'd refuse to because of this.

Once again she debated to just go into town and find a way to rent a car, trying to figure out how much that would cost her and if it was worth it.

She can't even cut her food budget, Dean was not negotiable in not eating and she had to as well for the baby if not herself.

Watching the rain fall from the porch, Mary tried to figure out what to do. Staying with Bobby...it was helpful. If she didn't and tried to get to Canada, there was no guarantee that she'd find a job soon, especially with the list of necessities that she needed. Time off and understanding of medical appointments. Her previous job was good in that it was a part time job where she could move around shifts with a few other girls.

The check that Ellen had given her would only go so far and she had been planning to use it mainly for rent and not have to worry about that for a bit while she got settled.

All of this was stress upon stress, none of which she could afford to have on Sammy.

If motherhood had taught her anything, it was how to swallow her pride and concede when someone else had the better idea.

That didn't mean that she had to like it.

Bobby rejoined them, thankfully not saying anything more when he saw that Dean was curled up in her lap. Mary rubbed Deans back, just holding onto him as she tried to get her tongue to unstick and speak.

This was for Sammy, if she could eat nothing but greens for another six months she could do this too for him.

"Six months." she said. "I'll stay here for six months and the day after...or maybe the day after the second day, we're gone."

She remembered giving birth to Dean and she had just wanted to curl up and not do a thing other than cuddle with her new baby. She needed to give herself some time to recover before getting back onto the road and away to a new life with the both of them.

Not that having an infant would be any easier in any sort of way.

Bobby nodded rapidly at that, holding his hand out. "Six months and a handful of days." he agreed. Mary stared at him for a long moment before she reached out with her hand and shook his.

Six months. She could do this.

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	53. Chapter 53

When she went back into town to see the doctor she left Dean back at Bobby's place. It had taken a few more days for Dean to really get used to Bobby but slowly he started to leave Mary's side to watch curiously as Bobby fixed her car and others.

Bobby, on the other hand, seemed to be hesitant to have anything to do with Dean. it was clear that the older man had no idea how to handle a kid, especially a kid that was starting to trail after him wanting to know all about being a 'car doctor'.

In all honesty Bobby looked terrified of a barely over three foot tall kid that weighed just under forty pounds. Combining that with Dean's innocent face that looked up to him in question just made her want to laugh at the look on his face.

Regardless of whatever Bobby had about children in general, because Dean was a darling and you had no choice but to love him, he was at the very least able to keep Dean alive and safe long enough so that she could see a doctor.

She would've taken Dean with her but she just...needed to be alone for this just in case the doctor told her bad news. She needed to be alone for that time, should it come, to compose herself before facing her son.

Her books said that she shouldn't be thinking negative thoughts like this, only happy thoughts for baby Sammy. Good thoughts brought good things, bad thoughts brought bad things.

Those books were garbage and she was very happy that she had read those books at the library when she had been pregnant with Dean and not wasted her money on them.

Being in the waiting room Mary glanced down at the notes she had jotted. She had left her medical records behind when she had left so whatever else she could remember she wrote down for the new doctor.

The important thing was this, that she was in danger of having a miscarriage, had already bleed twice due to it and was in pain pretty much every day in her lower back and body. She tried to remember her last bloodwork and what the numbers were but was coming up blank.

Her hand went to her stomach, just stroking the small bump. At the very least she was coming up on four months which meant only five months to go.

Five very long months to go.

"Mary Campbell?"

Standing up she grabbed her bag and followed the nurse, or whoever she was, into the back where the official offices were. She changed into the thin backless paper gown and threw her clothes into the chair next to one she was supposed to climb into.

The leg harnesses were already out and Mary threw them and the instruments on the counter a dirty look as she climbed onto it, already putting her legs in the stirrups just to get it over with.

There was no dignified way to do this, even the so-called gown wasn't long enough to cover what needed to be covered before the doctor had to look.

The nurse/assistant/whoever she was took her blood pressure, made noises about weighing her later on, and Mary handed her her notes, laying back down at the chair just wanting to get to the good part where she was told that her baby was okay and she could go back to Bobby's house.

The room was freezing and that was just another thing that they had in common, she was shivering when the doctor finally came in with a smile.

Mary greeted her and then fell silent as the doctor read the history notes she had written. She didn't like the look on the doctor's face as she turned to face her, it was one of those fake smiles that people wore when they knew something bad and were trying to hide it.

"Alright, so you're in a real big pickle." she said, clapping her hands as she reached for her machines. "And just to confirm, are you in pain right now?"

"Yes." Mary said. She never really talked about it but the pain was constant, to the point that it had just become a part of her life that she managed to put out of her mind.

"Okay. Anything else?" the doctor asked as she reached for the gel she needed to put on her stomach. Mary opened the gown to show her stomach, staring down at the bump.

"Not that I can think of." Mary said, letting the doctor spread the gel around on her stomach, staring at the machine. She leaned back in her seat and tried to relax as the doctor took the probe and started to move it around her stomach for a few moments, not saying anything.

The doctor's frown deepened and she gestured to the other woman, talking to her so quietly that Mary couldn't make out a single thing she said. The woman nodded and didn't look at Mary as she quietly slipped out of the room.

Mary watched her leave and then turned back to the machine's screen, trying to figure out what the doctor had seen. "What's going on?" she demanded, trying to remain calm.

"I'm just trying to figure something out." the doctor said, moving the probe around her stomach, pressing down a bit harder. The other woman returned and she was holding onto a few pieces of paper and pamphlets, just standing to the side for the time being.

"Either tell me what's going on or I'm going to do something you'll regret." Mary warned her.

The doctor looked at the other woman and then sighed, pulling the probe back away from her and quickly wiping down her stomach.

"I'm referring you immediately to the gynecological unit at the hospital, it's just a ten minute drive and I'll call the doctor there to let them know about you." she told her. "I can't find any readings on the baby."

Mary stared at her, a freezing cold going through her that had nothing to do with the chill in the air. "What do you mean?"

The doctor took a deep breath. "There is no fetal heartbeat." she told her. "So you need to get to the hospital immediately."

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	54. Chapter 54

"Your baby is still alive." the doctor told her firmly. "The heartbeat is faint but it's there."

Mary just stared at him, she hadn't really heard a word he had said after 'Your baby is still alive,' because honestly, that was all she cared about.

"I'm guessing that the previous doctor just wasn't able to pick it up, I'll admit I had trouble too, but there are readings and they all line up with what you have about your possible miscarriages. Unfortunately this does mean that your risk is higher." the doctor continued. "You're having a very dangerous pregnancy here Ms. Campbell."

She couldn't pay attention to a single word or sound he made, she knew that she should; she just couldn't, her hands were around her stomach and that was all she could focus on. Her baby was alive. Sammy was alive. He was okay, he was alive, he was still there.

"Considering everything, I'm going to need to put you on severe bed rest for the rest of the pregnancy." the doctor told her. "And I'm going to want to see you at the very least every two weeks. If you feel anything, and I mean anything, change at all give my office a call and come in, I'll make sure to see you right away."

He was saying things, things she should be paying attention to. His words sounded like they were coming in from a long fogged over distance. She tried to force herself to pay attention, tried to focus on his words but she couldn't. All she could focus was the small bump in her hands.

Sammy.

The doctor was staring at her in sympathy. She wasn't even aware of the tears that were falling down her cheeks as she shook. He placed the box of tissues in front of her but she couldn't even bring herself to take a tissue.

"How do I stop this?" she whispered. "How do I keep my baby? What do I do?"

The doctor hesitated, taking a deep breath. "Ms. Campbell...I'm going to be honest right now. I am going to do the best that I can and all that I can, I'm even going to give you my personal office number and my home number should anything happen in the middle of the night. But...at the same time...I think you should start to prepare for the real possibility that you will lose this pregnancy."

"No." Mary said firmly. "I'm not...that's not happening...it can't. I can't."

"Alright." the doctor said softly, taking a pad of paper and starting to write. "First and foremost, you need to go on bed-rest immediately. No picking anything up that's even close to five pounds. You said that you were doing a healthy diet and that needs to continue. And like I said before, I want to see you every two weeks."

Mary took a deep breath, looking around as she tried to focus and clear her mind. Whatever adrenaline she had before was gone, now all she had was her unending fear for her Sammy.

She had no idea how she was going to explain this to Dean or to Bobby.

God she wished that her parents were here.

She wished that John was here.

"So...bed-rest and...that's it? That's all you can tell me?" Mary asked. "No medications? No possible...anything?"

"Unfortunately not." the doctor told her. "Miscarriages are such a thing that we can't really do anything to prevent it. Your body is in such a position that anything could tip the scales."

Yeah, she's heard that before.

"Mary, I'd like to know what kind of support you're getting at home." the doctor said, taking out her notes once more and looking them over. "You didn't put down a home address or phone number, you're unmarried, and you said that you already have a child that you're responsible for."

"...I'm currently staying with Bobby Singer." Mary said quietly. "He's...a family friend."

The doctor made a face that he quickly tried to smooth over. "Bobby Singer." he repeated. "And...do you feel safe there?"

There was a story there that ordinarily she'd want to know but she couldn't give a damn about right now.

"Yeah." Mary answered. "I'm safe."

The doctor didn't look like he believed her but nodded. "Alright. Do you give permission to...Bobby Singer to talk to me and vice versa? I think it would be better for someone else to know about this and have a second opinion and another pair of hands."

Bobby said that he'd help, that he'll be responsible and help her out in whatever way she needed him to. She just didn't know if this was something she could ask of him as well.

"I don't know." she said quietly.

"Talk to him and if the both of you agree for him to be the second person, just give my number a call and I'll talk to him and bring him up to speed, I'll tell him so you won't have to." the doctor told her.

"Alright."

"Mary, I know that this all seems very scary. But we're going to do everything in our power to make sure that your baby is alright." the doctor told her. "Your health is our primary concern as well."

"You're going to get through this Mary, everything is going to be alright."

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	55. Chapter 55

She could hear Bobby talking on the phone but she couldn't make out what he was saying. She just curled deeper into the couch, one hand holding onto the blanket tightly while the other held onto Dean who was buried deep into her side.

Coming back from the doctor was a blur, she couldn't really remember getting back or even driving at all. She did remember coming back to Bobby's place and thrusting the papers into his hands before going to lay down on the couch. Dean had immediately come to her side and clung to her while Bobby cursed under his breath as he read the doctors notes.

Bobby then made the call to the doctor to talk to him, Mary had to speak on the phone to give him permission to talk to Bobby, but after that Bobby just spoke in the kitchen after covering her with a thick blanket.

Dean didn't really understand and honestly, she didn't have the energy to explain to him what was happening. All she wanted to do was lay there and hold Dean to her and just...not do anything.

After what seemed like forever Bobby came back out into the living room with a grave expression on his face. When Dean turned to look he tried to school his expression to not worry him. He sat down on the couch at Mary's feet and took a deep breath.

"Alright, so now we've got this." he said. "But it goes back to what I was saying. That you can't leave, especially now."

Mary just nodded, pulling Dean closer to her. Dean didn't put up a struggle, just curled more into her side as much as he could.

"So now...you're on bedrest for the rest of the pregnancy, doc doesn't even want you to move around to get food, I'll bring it to you or the tyke will." Bobby continued. "Sorry to say it but he doesn't even want you to drive around so, for the time being, it's bed and couch only."

Five months. Five months. She can do five months of this.

"I'll bring you books and the radio and stuff so you got things to do. And everything else I'll take care of." Bobby told her. "And I'll drive whenever you have to go to the doctors, won't go in if you don't want me to."

"Should, need someone else there." Mary mumbled.

Bobby nodded. "Alright." he said simply, rubbing his hands on the side of his pants. "Want something to eat or drink?"

Mary shook her head at that, turning onto her side as best as she could and holding Dean to her. "I'm good. Thanks."

Bobby nodded once more, just watching her a bit helplessly. "Mary," he said gently. "It's going to be alright. Your baby is going to be alright. It'll be a bit boring and drive you crazy but you're just gonna have to take it easy and relax. Everything is gonna be alright."

Mary closed her eyes and just held onto Dean, her mind felt simultaneously blank and running a thousand miles an hour.

She had no idea what to do and how to handle this. Especially if...if the unthinkable happened.

If that happened...what was she going to do? How would she handle it? She would still have Dean, and Dean needs her no matter what.

If...if it happened...she didn't have any other choice. She'd have to keep going. She'd have to keep going to Canada with Dean and create a life for the both of them there and deal with what had happened for the rest of her life.

Mary swallowed hard, letting go of the blanket so that her hand could go down to her stomach. She felt the bump there and pressed against it, trying to let its mere presence calm her down. She felt Dean shift against her and could feel his eyes on her.

Finally, she opened her eyes to look down at her son. Dean's eyes were reddened and full of tears as he looked up at her. He didn't say anything, just tightened his small fists into her shirt.

Mary reached out and gently touched his cheek, using the pad of her finger to wipe away one of his tears. Dean closed his eyes, rubbing at his eyes.

"Why is mama sad?" he whispered, coughing a few times. "Mama?"

"I'm sad...because Sammy is sick." Mary told him. She heard Bobby's sharp intake of breath at that but...she needed to tell Dean something. "Sammy is really sick."

Dean whimpered at that. "So you gotta go to the doctor." he told her, reaching out to touch her stomach as well on top of her hand.

"I did. The doctor is trying to make Sammy be better." Mary told him, reaching up to stroke his hair back, it was starting to get a bit long, she was gonna have to cut it. "But it takes time."

"But Sammy is sick now." Dean insisted. "He's gotta get better now."

"He will be." there was no other option, he was going to get better. "He will be baby." Mary reached for him and wrapped her arms around him, moving enough so that he could wrap his arms around her neck. "He's going to be okay."

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	56. Chapter 56

Mary closed her eyes and breathed out slowly, shifting slightly on the couch before letting her head fall back.

She was two and a half weeks into her bed rest and honestly, she was starting to lose her mind.

True to Bobby's word he tried his best to keep her busy, there was a large pile of books to her side and a radio plugged in that was just less than an arms length away from her. A bottle of water on the floor next to the couch and a constant delivery of food that either Bobby or Dean would bring to her.

Dean didn't leave her side, barely made it to use the bathroom upstairs. He had set up camp right next to her couch with his toys and books and stuffed kitty, reading his books to her as best as he could while she corrected his words as necessary.

It was a lot harder than she thought it was going to be to not be able to walk around, her limbs felt like they were made of lead and at times she felt like she was becoming a part of the couch itself.

She took her time when she went to the bathroom, relishing each and every step that she took as she reminded her body how to move. Even when she took a shower, warm not hot anymore, she had to sit in the shower. Bobby had gotten her a chair to keep in the bathtub so she could wash herself and Dean and not strain herself.

Bobby didn't really cook that much she learned. He was able to make basic dishes and anything else he ordered or went into town to get.

Not that she was any better, she was willing to put money down that between the three of them, Dean would be a better cook than the two of them combined.

It was discerning but something she had learned to accept at this point.

Dean was still a kid and no matter how much he loved her and wanted to help her and Sammy, he still wanted to move around and about and the living room only gave him so many options.

So, much to Bobby's hidden fear and reluctance Dean would trail after him as the older man worked. Whether he was working on cars or at the desk with the supernatural lore or cooking, Dean had all but imprinted on him and followed him around constantly asking questions about what he was doing.

With cars he told the whole truth, about the supernatural he told a very abridged version of what it was. Either way Dean was intrigued and toddled after him with question after question.

And Bobby? He looked terrified every single time he turned around and realized that Dean was staring up at him with another question.

It was still funny mainly because she'd take her amusement at this point wherever she could.

"Have you been hunting?" Mary asked him at some point. "How long have you been doing this?"

"Couple years." Bobby muttered, glancing at Dean who had fallen asleep by her side. "Why?"

"Because if this is how you look at a four year old kid I'm terrified to think about how you look at a vampire." Mary retorted. "He's just a kid and you look like he's worse than a supernatural being attacking you."

Bobby let out a small breath, gaze lingering on Dean before he looked away. "Actually...he's a hell of a lot scarier than any monster." he confessed. "Kids...they scare me."

"Why?" Mary asked, looking down at Dean. He always looked like a darling but especially in his sleep, his mouth was slightly open as he breathed and he was just a sweet innocent child, it's why she didn't want him to have anything to do with the supernatural; all that innocence would immediately be destroyed.

Bobby stared at them helplessly, rubbing at his face. "Kids and I...we don't really get along." he finally said. "It's...complicated."

Mary nodded at that, staring at him and lost in thought. "Can I ask you something?"

"Sure."

"When I saw the doctor in the hospital, I mentioned that I was living with you." Mary said. "He didn't really...seem pleased about that."

Bobby looked like he had swallowed a lemon, looking away. "I got a reputation in town." he finally said. "Not that many people like me."

"Why?" Mary asked, making a face of her own. Bobby was a bit surly and kept to himself but nothing that warranted a reputation of some sort.

Bobby sighed, running his fingers through his hair. "It's about how I got into the life." he muttered. "Didn't get in the best of ways and well...I've learned that people talk and gossip like a bunch of schoolgirls, specially when they don't know the full story but fill it in themselves."

"I'm sorry." Mary said softly. "For whatever it was."

Bobby nodded, looking away from her. He tried to move his arm a bit inconspicuously but she saw him brush it against his eyes to try to hide tears.

She didn't say anything about them.

"I'm gonna check on the soup." he muttered, immediately leaving to go back to the kitchen.

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	57. Chapter 57

Mary turned onto her side, curling up as best as she could, trying to breathe through the pain, clenching her legs tightly together.

It had started in the morning, had been just her normal amount of pain that she had gotten accustomed to. But slowly throughout the day it started to get worse and worse until she could barely move.

The past almost three months had gone by faster than she thought it would. She was almost at seven months of her pregnancy and quite frankly, her doctor was honest with her and had confessed that he didn't think she would've made it this far.

She didn't physically flip him off but she did in her mind and that still counted.

But in all fairness, the doctor was a godsend. He was patient with her and with Bobby, even the few times that they had to call in the middle of the night due to some reason, like more pain or the fact that there were times she didn't think she could move her legs.

Everything was fine, or at least as fine as it could be, but he never held it against them that they called and always comforted her.

She saw him in his office every two weeks as requested, Bobby was diligently taking notes about everything she felt, ate, and did and would give it to the doctor. At first the doctor was very apprehensive about talking to Bobby about anything but Mary had stood by him and slowly, the man warmed up to him.

And she listened to everything that the doctor told her to do. She laid in bed and on the couch, even when she went outside the few times it was short and most of the time she would end up laying down on the backseat of her car in lieu of anything else.

Her car was fixed, Bobby had fixed it a week after she had been put to bedrest, and it's the one they used to go to town to go to the hospital. At the very least, that was something that was working.

Dean was torn and confused, alternating between spending his time pressed up to her and following Bobby around the house and yard in fascination. He was incredibly curious about the cars around them and would watch as Bobby fixed them. He had even been delegated helper in holding the wrench and was over the moon about that one job.

He asked about John a lot, curious as to why they were here without him or his grandparents. Mary struggled to answer that, trying to find the best way to explain to him why they were, technically, hiding and running away.

She knew that she didn't describe it in the best way and Dean was still confused but slowly stopped asking.

She didn't know what it meant that he stopped asking. He was a very intuitive child despite his young age so maybe he knew that asking wasn't going to give him any good answers.

Or maybe he was just trying to understand everything in his own way. Most of his focus went to the baby in her stomach regardless of anything else. He knew that Sammy was still sick and if she used that as a distraction, well...

Only Bobby was around to judge her and he wasn't.

She heard a noise and slowly opened her eyes, watching Dean dragging her blanket from their bedroom towards the couch as best as he could. Most of it was on the ground as he moved it.

She didn't even have the strength to say anything to him or tell him that she didn't need the blanket. So eventually he managed to get it to the couch and tried to pull it up to cover her.

Breathing out slowly Mary reached out and took his hand in hers, squeezing it slightly as she tried to ride out the pain like she had for a while. Dean moved around her and curled into her as best as he could, holding onto her hand.

She could hear footsteps and the rest of the blanket was properly placed around her and Dean. She looked up at Bobby who was staring at her in slightly fearful that he was trying to hide.

"Need to call the doctor?" he asked, swallowing hard when she nodded. "Anything else I should tell him?"

"It's getting worse." Mary managed to whisper to him. "A lot worse."

Bobby nodded at that, reaching out to squeeze her shoulder before going to the kitchen where after a moment she could hear him talking to the doctor slowly.

When he came back he had a bit of a grave expression on his face. "Doc says he wants you to come in immediately." he told her. "Wants to make sure that you're okay. You up to that?"

The very thought of moving almost made her want to cry but she gritted her teeth and slowly moved to sit up, breathing as evenly as she could and shaking. "Okay." she said slowly. "Let's go."

She was in her pajamas and no bra, because her breasts were too sensitive for that right now, but the idea of moving more to change her clothes made her want to throw up. She wasn't in her best appearance but the doctor had already seen up inside of her so she had a feeling that they had passed that stage of appropriate dressing.

Bobby reached down and carefully picked her up, carrying her to the passenger seat of her car as Dean followed them. It was a warm May day, May second if she remembered correctly and thankfully she just needed her sandals which Bobby helped her to put on once she was in the car.

They drove quickly to the hospital and she wasn't sure where Bobby had gotten it but he had managed to get her a wheelchair. He picked Dean up and quickly brought them into the doctor's office where she was immediately taken in, at this point all of the office knew her story and knew to let her go in the second she came in. Within seconds she was on the table and attached to multiple machines.

The doctor glanced periodically at the machines that were on her stomach before taking her blood pressure, feeling around her stomach as another shot of pain went through her.

He looked at the screen once more before turning to the nurse and nodding before gently taking Mary by the arm and bringing her over to the bed so that she could lay down.

"What's happening?" Mary demanded, shaking as she looked at the machines as she tried to make heads or tails about what the doctor saw.

"You need to lay down and get ready." the doctor told her as he gently pushed her onto the bed as the nurses placed her legs into the stirrups. "You're going into labor."

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**To everyone talking about John, don't worry he is coming into the story very, very soon and we'll be getting a deep view into everything that has been happening with him between Mary leaving and now.**


	58. Chapter 58

Mary stared up at the ceiling as she tried to focus on her breathing, winching as another contraction shot through her. It was different than how it had been with Dean, a lot more painful, and they couldn't give her an epidural.

She was also alone as the nurses and doctor brought her into the delivery room. Bobby had to stay back with Dean to make sure that he was okay, she couldn't and wouldn't leave him alone.

So, that meant that she had to deliver Sammy with just the doctors and the nurses around her.

Even with Dean she at least had her parents, mom had stayed with her in the delivery room to comfort her and let her squeeze her hand.

She closed her eyes and pressed back the tears as best as she could, taking another deep breath. She could hear everyone around her murmuring and talking to one another about things she couldn't hear about.

It didn't matter, she just needed to focus on the delivery and on Sammy, everything else could be taken care of at a later time.

She reached out to grip the edges of the bed, wrapping her hands tightly around the metal bars, as the doctor peered between her legs.

"Mary, you're almost at ten centimetres." he told her. "You're going to have to get ready to push."

Mary didn't answer, just nodded as a nurse gently placed an oxygen mask on her face to help her breathe.

She wished that her parents were here.

"Alright, Mary you're going to feel a bearing down feeling, that means you need to start pushing." the doctor said, settling between her legs. "We're going to count down from ten and on one, start pushing."

Mary nodded, staring up at the ceiling as she listened to the nurse next to her counting down. Someone dabbed at her forehead with a wet towel and she swallowed hard, tightening her grip on the bed.

This part was familiar enough at least. The pain she had been feeling faded away to make room for the need to push.

She breathed in deeply, shaking as someone placed something under his hips to lift her up a bit more. There was someone next to her, rubbing her back and wiping her face periodically.

She wished that John was here.

Compared to everything else that she had gone through the last few months, all the pain and physical agony, this was actually the easiest part. This she was familiar with and was able to get through. It still hurt and it was making muscles she usually didn't have control over flexing and moving.

She took one more deep breath and pressed down, teeth gritting as a mess of noises came out of her as she felt her baby come out completely, a whimper escaping her as she fell back onto the bed.

Everything fell silent as she panted, grateful for the oxygen mask helping her as her entire body felt sore, feeling as if she was melting into the bed and-

It was silent.

The realization made her open her eyes and despite the oxygen mask she couldn't breathe as she struggled up onto her elbows to try to look around. Someone tried to gently push her back onto the bed which she batted away, trying to look.

The baby was supposed to cry, the baby was supposed to come out crying but she couldn't hear a single thing. There were the low murmurs of the doctor and the nurses and everyone else but no crying. No sounds of the baby.

She tried to claw her way out of the bed, some of the orderlies held her down onto the bed, telling her something that she didn't care about and didn't listen. She could see a bare glimpse of her baby before he was placed into a bed and wheeled away.

"Where are they taking him?" Mary tried to demand, her voice coarse and rough as she was being held back. "Why isn't he crying? What's wrong?"

"They're taking him to the NICU, he's going to be alright." someone told her in what she believed they thought were a comforting tone. But all she could hear was the accusations, the firm truth.

She was a bad mother. She couldn't even do a single thing to keep her baby alive. It was all her fault.

"Why isn't he crying?" Mary whispered. "Why didn't he cry?"

"He's fine, he's going to be alright." was repeated to her until the words lost meaning. Nothing that they said meant anything.

Mary stared through the glass, hand on it as she watched her baby Sammy in the incubator. There were machines, too many machines, attached to him and the small hat that they gave to the newborns was too big. It kept slipping down his head a bit with every breath he took, that another machine helped, and why weren't any nurses around to push the hat back up? Didn't the comfort of the baby matter? How could a nurse just let a hat slip around on the baby's head like that and not give a damn?

She didn't feel the tears welling in her eyes or how they fell, she didn't really register anything else but baby Sammy. Alone in the incubator with a tube up his nose and parts and pieces of machines on him. She watched him give a small snuff and cough and felt her heart twist.

She was prepared for a lot of things. She had been prepared to possibly lose her baby from a miscarriage. She had been prepared to have the baby, rest up, and then go to Canada and start a new life for the three of them.

She hadn't been prepared to have the baby and then possibly lose him.

She swallowed hard, pressing more onto the glass as she didn't even dare to blink.

He...he was just so small.

Mary leaned until her forehead was pressed into the glass, fogging it over with her breath. With a great deal of strength she forced herself to pull away from the window and make her way down the hall, wrapping her arms around herself to try to stop herself from shaking.

It wasn't working.

She finally reached the payphone and picked up the receiver, pressing zero first and then waiting for the collect call to answer her as she dialed in the phone number. She had to lean back against the wall as it rang, feeling like she was about to break into pieces.

"Hello?"

"Mom, it's me." Mary said, not giving her a moment to talk. "You guys need to come to Sioux Falls Downtown Hospital."

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	59. Chapter 59

Once she had finished the phone call, not saying anything else other than where she currently was, she went back to the window of the NICU and just stared at Sammy, willing him to be okay.

At some points a nurse came to her to talk to her, tell her that she should go back to bed because she just gave birth. She ignored them and just watched as Sammy wiggled slightly in the bed.

Her doctor came to her as well, wanting to talk to her about Sammy. He was small and premature, his lungs weren't working to their full capacity, he was small; just a little over two pounds, and he wasn't taking the few bits of milk that they were trying to give him. He was going to be on twenty-four hour monitoring for an indefinite amount of time.

Unfortunately they can't go in and hold him or even hold his hand, he has to remain in a sterile environment. They would appreciate it if she could try to pump breast milk for them to give Sammy a try to give him some sort of connection and build up his immune system.

She just nodded, not looking away as Sammy slowly moved his hand, it was curled into a small fist. She had read somewhere that a person's heart was as big as their fist and Sammy...

She felt like sobbing. He was so small that she was afraid that if she blinked for too long he'd disappear somewhere among the wires and blanket.

There was someone tugging at the end of her hospital gown and she finally tore her eyes away from Sammy to look down, feeling her heart clench when she saw Dean staring up at her pleadingly. She swallowed hard and leaned down to pick him up, holding him close as he curled into her chest, gripping at her tightly.

Mary cleared her throat and took a deep breath, turning Dean around enough so that he could see through the glass. "There's Sammy." she whispered. "There's your little brother."

Dean blinked and leaned in as close as he could, pressing up against the glass with both hands. "Sammy?" he asked. "Why is he there? Can't we cuddle?"

"No, not yet." Mary said, holding onto him. "He's still sick so we can't go near him yet."

Dean whimpered, pressing up against the glass as much as he could as he stared down at his little brother. "Why isn't the doctor making him better?"

"He's trying, but it's hard." Mary said, seeing from the corner of her eyes that Bobby came up beside her, reaching out to gently touch her shoulder. She looked at him, feeling the tears in her eyes. Bobby looked a bit lost, whatever tentative relationship he had had with Dean, it was completely different with Sammy who was a baby.

"I called them." she whispered to him, seeing his eyebrows raise. "I just...I can't handle this anymore. Bobby...you've been a big help, it's just..." her voice cracked and she closed her eyes. "I need them. I'm sorry."

"You don't need to apologize, I get it." Bobby told her. "You just...I don't think they'll be happy so you gotta prepare for that."

"I know, I am." Mary said looking at Sammy again. "I'm sorry you got caught in this."

"I'm happy that I was able to help you." he said simply, hesitating for a moment before he reached out and wrapped his arm around her. Mary couldn't help but press into his touch, moving so she could place her head on his shoulder. "And listen, if I've learned anything it's that you're a fighter and so are your kids. The little one is gonna be fine."

Mary smiled and nodded, holding Dean closer to her, he had started to talk through the glass to Sammy; all about them and who they were and everything that he couldn't wait to show him outside.

Mary didn't want to leave the window, and neither did Dean, even if they couldn't be in the room with him they didn't want to leave Sammy alone. Even when Mary couldn't stand anymore, her legs were weak so she just sat down on the ground with Dean on her lap. Bobby had gone off to get back home to grab some more things for her and Dean to change into leaving just the two of them with Sammy.

Her whole body hurt but at least this pain was a bit more familiar. She felt sore and abused in a way but paid no attention to it, just leaning against the wall under the window and waited. She wasn't sure what she was waiting for but she didn't have anything else to do.

After what felt like hours, people kept walking through the hallway; some of them tried to talk to her but she ignored them, Dean had fallen asleep curled up in her arms against her and she had her head bowed, not falling asleep but not wanting to deal with the rest of them world at this moment.

She could hear more people walk past her, some of the people talked to one another in low murmurs that she ignored. One pair of footsteps stopped next to her for a moment and she tensed up, feeling her heart beating rapidly in her chest as they reached out to gently touch her shoulder.

Bringing her head up, feeling the tears that had been welled up finally fall slowly down her cheeks. She swallowed hard, a choked sound escaping her.

"John." she whispered, her voice cracking.

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I do take requests so if you have requests you can send them to me.


	60. Chapter 60

Mary felt something crack inside of her as she stared up at John. He leaned down and carefully picked her up, taking care not to jostle Dean too much. She could feel him take a deep breath and that broke her, turning her head to bury into his chest as she shook and quietly sobbed.

"It's alright, it's alright Mary, I got you." John murmured to her. "It's going to be alright."

Mary shook her head, bringing it up to touch the glass once more. "There's Sammy." she whispered, feeling John's sharp intake of breath. "It's Sammy and he's there and-" her voice cracked and she clung to him once more. "Sammy is..."

"He's going to be fine." John told her, slowly carrying her away and back to where the rooms for the patients were. "But you need to look after yourself too."

"I don't matter right now, all attention needs to be on Sammy and making sure that he's okay."

"He's going to be okay." John repeated. "Mary, you're important too. Please, for Dean, he needs you too."

At the mention of Dean she looked down into her arms at her son and pulled him in closer to her, curling simultaneously into John's embrace.

John walked them back to her room and gently set her in the bed, bringing the thin covers up to cover her enough. He grabbed the chair at the side and picked it up, setting it next to the bed before sitting in it, just staring at her silently.

Mary swallowed hard, taking a deep breath. She procrastinated looking at him or talking by looking over Dean, shifting him so that he was a bit more comfortable on her and still asleep.

"If you had asked...I would've gone with you." John told her, making her close her eyes.

"No you wouldn't have." she told him. "You're too entangled with the Letters and everything else. I needed to get them out of there."

"And I would've gone with you." John repeated. "Mary, you and our sons take priority. Over anything else, over the Men of Letters, over everything."

"Well you had a very interesting way of showing it." Mary told him, trying to keep her voice leveled even when it shook. Her hand came up to wipe at her eyes. "You talked a big game about being with us, about being on our side, but the second you realized that Dean was going to be forced to be a Letter, just like you, you jumped on that and gave me a show about trying to be fair."

She took a deep breath. "This whole fucked up thing about forcing Dean to become a Letter. Forcing Sammy, who wasn't even born yet, to be a hunter. Not giving them a choice, not even giving them an option. And no one saw it like that, no one saw that forcing these children into this was screwed up and wrong."

"They deserve to live normal lives, they deserve to have the right to choose." Mary continued. "And I don't give a damn about what a bunch of old, stick up the asses, old-fashioned, fucks have to say or want. Who the hell are they that they get to decide what our kids get to do or not to do?"

"Just because they're your sons means that they have to be Letters? Just because they're my sons means that they have to be hunters? No. Fuck no, I refuse. I've hated all of this, I've hated hunting and being terrified. I've hated being shown how to make salt shotgun shells and learning Latin frontwards and backwards when I was four years old. I've hated my parents for putting me through this and I hate the idea that my children have to as well." she paused to take a deep breath, chest heaving. She stopped when John reached out to take her hand in his, squeezing it tightly.

"The one good thing in my life that came from hunting...was you." Mary told him, staring down at the sheets. "That I got to meet you. That we started a relationship of some kind and now we got them." her free hand went to Dean, stroking over his head. "I don't want him to be a Letter, I don't want Sammy to be a Hunter."

"Yeah, I've gotten that." John said softly, bringing his other hand up to hold one of hers between them. "For now, lets focus on you and Sammy, everything else can wait."

"For how long?" Mary asked, shaking her head. "Because as far as I can see, we're back at square one."

"For as long as needed." John said. "And besides, your parents want to see you too."

Mary looked up at that as the door opened and she felt like sobbing once more when her parents came into the room. John stood up, after squeezing her hand once more, and then let go so that Samuel and Deanna could come to either side of Mary and hug their daughter, which she returned. He watched them for a moment before he quietly left the room. Once he was in the hallway he hesitated but then slowly started to go back to the NICU window.

**I do not own Supernatural.**

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	61. Chapter 61

John walked slowly to the NICU, almost counting his steps to try to keep his mind off of everything. He breathed out slowly, keeping each one in sync with his steps before he was finally in front of the window once more. He swallowed hard and took the last few steps forward, staring through the glass at the small life in the other room.

He felt his chest tighten at the sight of his son amidst everything else that was currently helping him stay alive. Sometimes he would move around, his little limbs sliding around. His mouth was slightly open as he breathed and when he coughed, his entire chest moved making John jerk forward wanting to go to him.

"Hey Sammy." John whispered, reaching up to touch the glass. "It's...I'm your dad. I'm John."

He took a deep breath as his eyes moved over Sammy, taking his fill in of his second son. A son, that if he was going to be honest, he didn't believe he'd ever get to see.

The first fear had of course been because of the constant threat of miscarriage. He never said it to Mary but it was something that he was told by the doctor to be prepared for. He had constantly been on the edge with Mary, feeling like anything would be the thing to push her body over and lose the baby.

And then she disappeared.

John closed his eyes, taking a deep breath to try to calm himself.

At first he had thought that Mary was just ignoring him and his calls, something he wasn't surprised at considering that he had told her that the Men of Letters don't want to work with her demands.

But when he came back to her apartment he felt that something had been off. He thought that maybe she and Dean went for a walk or something, she needed the time and the distance. He didn't make a habit of going through her things but when a few hours passed and it got dark and they still weren't back, he got worried.

The things Mary had taken were simple and easy to miss, some clothes and some toys. She left behind a small mess in the sink as if they had just eaten. He didn't know where she kept her luggage so when he saw the empty spots in the closet he didn't think too much of it.

When it got late and they still hadn't come, he had called her parents with the hopes that they were there. Despite everything she was close with her parents and they adored Dean so maybe she just wanted to be with them.

But then Samuel and Deanna had said that they hadn't heard from her since the day before and immediately came over. They knew her apartment a bit better than him, especially in the case of where she kept her weapons.

Despite what she said, she was raised a hunter and still had that mentality.

So when they discovered that her weapon bag was gone, that was the little bit that her parents needed to confirm that Mary wasn't just out for a walk, she was gone without intent to come back.

And that's when they started to call people to hear from them. Samuel was adamant that her old friend Ellen would be the one to help her but Ellen denied any sort of involvement, saying that she hadn't spoken to Mary in months and Mary owed her a drink in apology before she'd help her.

They called other hunters that Mary was familiar with to no avail. Samuel then called Bobby Singer, twice, because he had a feeling that Singer was hiding something.

But both times the man denied anything, saying that the last time he had seen Mary was their date.

And he knew that he didn't have the right to get jealous about that, the date had happened before they officially-unofficially got together. But he pushed past that to try to figure out where she was.

And getting that phone call from Mary, learning that she had been in Sioux Falls where Samuel knew that Bobby lived, the man had spent a majority of the ride over here ranting and raving and ready to destroy the other man.

And it took almost four months. Four months of no contact, of not knowing if her and their sons were okay. Four months of sleepless nights in which he just prayed for a postcard to know that the three of them are okay.

Under his parents' encouragement, he didn't tell the other Men of Letters. He had no desire to hear their displeasure and he had no idea what they would do if they found out that Mary had run away with the child they had been expecting to be theirs.

He knew that if he brought the other Men of Letters into this they'd be able to find Mary within a day or two. There were tracking spells and locating spells that they could use and find her no matter what she tried to use to hide herself.

But he also knew that if they knew that Mary had taken Dean and ran away, they would take that as an excuse to take Dean away from them so that there wouldn't be that possibility again.

He meant what he said, that if Mary had asked him he would've come. Now. After living in fear of the unknown for four months he was prepared to do anything he had to to keep his family together, to not lose them again.

But back then...Mary had a point and it was something he'd been avoiding thinking for the whole time. He didn't have a problem with being a Man of Letters, he enjoyed it in fact. There were very few things that he had a problem with, the control and the council mostly, but ultimately they never really had much to do with them. The only reason he was in so much attention with them is that he was going against the grain so much.

It was nice to work with his father like the other Letters, spending hours talking and researching and working together. It was something he realized that he wasn't going to get with Dean but then the council decided to try to force it to happen and he couldn't help but be relieved and try to work towards it.

But now, at the cost of everything, he was ready to set it all to the side if it meant keeping his family together.

A part of him was angry, very angry and pissed off at the whole thing. A part of him wanted to yell and hit the walls and do something.

But mostly he was tired, he just wanted his family together. He just wanted to be able to live with Mary and their sons.

He was so damn tired.

A man walked down the hallway, he obviously wasn't a medical professional, but stopped in front of the window as well. Staring at Sammy and shaking his head. John glanced at him and then back at Sammy, feeling his hackles rise as the man continued to stare at his son.

"I'm guessing you're John." the man finally said, looking at him. "I'm Bobby Singer."

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	62. Chapter 62

John slowly turned to look at the other man, Bobby Singer, completely. Bobby did the same, straightening up slightly when he realized that John was sizing him up.

He held a bag out to him. "I got some of Marys and Deans things, so that she doesn't have to stay in that stupid hospital gown."

John felt like snatching the bag from him, Singer had no right to be holding any of Marys or Deans things, but forced himself to reach out slowly and take it from him instead.

Bobby stared at him for another moment before he turned back to look at Sammy, he didn't seem to be in any rush to say anything else.

"I can feel you drilling holes into my head." Bobby remarked. "So get it off your chest already, it's annoying."

"You hid her. You hid Dean." John finally managed to say. "You had no right to do this."

Bobby rolled his eyes and John felt his fingers twitch in the desire to punch him. "Yeah cause there were a lot of choices there." he said. He turned to look at John once more. "Mary meeting up with me was an accident, she was running away and her car broke down. By luck it was in my area and I was the one called to get it."

He ran his fingers through his thinning hair. "I don't have to tell you that it's been a hard pregnancy so I managed to convince her to stay until the baby was born. That's it."

Despite how little the Men of Letters had to do with the hunters, they kept track of supernatural beings and attacks.

Especially demons.

So he had read Bobby Singer's name before, and had seen his name in a report that transcribed a possession, by his wife Karen Singer. A hunter by the name of Rufus Turner had come to exercise the demon but as a result, Karen Singer had been killed.

"Or maybe you saw an opportunity." John couldn't help but spit out. "A woman that needed help and a kid with a heart as big as anything."

Bobby's face smoothed over but his fingers twitched. "Mind your tongue." he said lowly. "I'd be careful about what you say right now, very careful."

"I know all about you, I've read what happened." John spat out at him. "I know exactly what happened to your wife and that you had gone on a date with Mary. and now all of a sudden this window of opportunity comes along and you just-"

He was cut off when Bobby reached out and grabbed him, turning him so that he could half slam him into the wall and not the window. John glared at him as best as he could, the back of his head smarting from the hit.

"Don't you dare talk about her, or me, or think that you know a damn thing about me." Bobby warned lowly. "Or I'll be putting you in this hospital."

He let him go after a shake, stepping back and shaking his head. He glanced at Sammy once more and moved away. He muttered under his breath about coffee and after shooting John one more warning look walked away.

John took a moment to straighten himself and his clothes out before he pushed away from the wall, looking into the window once more to make sure that Sammy was alright. The baby was alright, barely moving as he laid there oblivious to what was happening around him.

"God this is a mess, isn't it Sammy." he murmured. "Hope you didn't hear any of that kiddo."

There was no answer, of course there wasn't an answer, but nevertheless the silence was just a bit calming.

"I'll be back soon Sammy." he promised his son softly before tightening his grip on the bag and started back towards Mary's room, unsure of what he was going to find there.

What he found was Mary alone, he had no idea where her parents had gone but judging by the look on her face he could guess that they had an argument of some kind. She looked up at him, eyes going to the bag in his hand. "Bobby was here?"

"Yes." he said simply, not wanting to say anything else about the other man, putting the bag on the bed for her to rummage through. She pulled out a stuffed cat that John recognized as Deans favorite toy to cuddle, and set it beside him as he lay sleeping beside her.

"So, where do we go from here?" he asked, crossing his arms over his chest. He saw her tense up but she kept her gaze on the bag, looking through it. "What do we do now?"

"Now, I just want to be able to take Sammy out of the hospital without the risk of losing him." Mary told him. "And then deal with everything else after that. I don't give a shit about anything but the kids right now."

That was convenient and truthful, he had to agree with that, but at the same time; the longer they were together like this, the more they had to talk about this. This elephant in the room, the growing gap between them.

"Are you going to run away again?" he asked instead, watching her get more tense with each word. "What was even the plan with that? Run away to Bobby Singer? Or run away to somewhere else?"

"Stop bringing Bobby into this, him being a part of this whole damn thing is a coincidence." Mary told him. "I had to stay with him due to circumstances, he didn't ask to get dragged into this."

"A big coincidence, especially since apparently you've gone out with him." John said, unable to keep the bitterness out of his voice. "Really convenient."

He knew that he was being ridiculous, he knew Mary enough that she wouldn't do this to him, or if not him then at least Dean, knew that he was taking things a bit too far.

But at the same time, he was tired and pissed, anger growing with each remark and protective word that Mary was saying. He was grasping at straws, being completely absurd, but combined with everything, as well as the notion that Mary hasn't yet confirmed that she wasn't going to keep running with Dean and Sammy, he couldn't help it.

Mary slowly brought her head up and glowered at him, her gaze pinning him in place. "Nothing about this was planned and even thought about with Bobby." she said. "It was just the time and place where it happened and he wanted to help me. End of discussion."

Whatever he was about to say about that was cut off when Dean shifted on the bed, hand coming up to rub at his eyes. They slowly opened and he smiled when he saw his stuffed cat next to him, reaching for it and wrapping his arms and body around it. When he sat up Mary wrapped her arm around him, holding him close to her side.

He rubbed at his eyes once more, leaning into her and holding onto his stuffed cat before he looked around the room, eyes widening when he saw John.

"Daddy?" he asked incredulously.

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	63. Chapter 63

Before either of them could say anything, not that they knew what to say, there was a knock at the door and it opened to reveal her doctor. He glanced at the both of them. "Is this a bad time?"

Mary reached out to Dean and drew him to her, he went willingly and easily, curling into her side clutching his stuffed kitty. "No, it's fine." she said. "How is Sammy?" In between everything she had managed to shakily sign the birth certificate, Samuel Michael Campbell.

She had been asked about putting a name down for the father, even an offer of putting Bobby Singer in that section if only to not leave it blank.

But in the end, she did leave it blank, just like with Dean's birth certificate.

She'd deal with that fallout later.

The doctor glanced at John for a moment. "Are you alright with discussing your son with him in the room?"

"I'm the father." John said bristly, tensely.

Mary nodded at that. "He's the father." she confirmed. "You can tell him too."

The doctor nodded and looked down at his notes. "The biggest issue Sam is facing is his breathing, his lungs aren't fully developed and as such he needs to remain on the ventilator. He's underweight but he continues to spit up the milk that we give him so another priority is him gaining a few pounds." he glanced up at them. "We may have to do a nasal drip to ensure that he doesn't have a chance to spit it out and that it will get into his system if he doesn't stop."

John looked at Mary and then nodded when he saw the look on her face, she could barely bring herself to speak as she listened to him. "Alright." he said simply. "Is there anything that we can do?"

"Well, other than Mary trying to pump some milk for him, not really." the doctor said. "All we can do is wait and if you're religious enough, pray."

Mary couldn't help her scoff at that, something John barely bit back himself. "I think we'll focus more on what you and the rest of the staff can do for him."

The doctor nodded and then glanced down as his beeper notified him. He glanced at the screen and then back at them. "I'll still be around for a few hours and after that I will be on call, Mary has my number if she needs to reach me." he said. "We're going to do everything we can for you boy." he nodded at them and left, already talking to a nurse that had been waiting outside the room.

Mary breathed out slowly, hand coming up to rub at her sternum, holding Dean to her with her free hand. She felt his eyes on her and she looked down, smiling as reassuring as she could.

"Is Sammy gonna be okay?" he asked her, curling more into her side.

"Yes." Mary told him, stroking back his hair, it was getting a bit too long. "He's going to be fine, just needs to get a bit better."

Dean rubbed at his eyes and gave a very put upon sigh, sitting up and looking at John as he bit down on his lower lip. "Daddy." he whispered.

"Hey buddy." John said in a quiet voice, smiling slightly at his son. He walked over to sit on the edge of the bed, reaching out to gently stroke over his head. "Missed you."

"Missed you too." Dean replied, leaning into his touch. "Are you gonna stay?"

Mary looked away and John didn't look at her. "I hope so buddy." was all he said.

Dean looked a bit troubled at that, leaning more into Mary's side. He held his stuffed kitty closer to him and just nodded, his thumb sliding into his mouth as he stared down at the bed. He closed his eyes and shook his head slightly. "My head hurts." he mumbled.

Mary turned back to him and reached out to gently stroke at the top of his head. "You want something to eat?"

Dean shook his head, moving down so that he could lay down. He turned so that he could curl into a small ball, just holding onto his kitty and almost ignoring the both of them.

Sighing softly Mary stroked over his back. "It's been...a bit of a stressful time for him." she told John softly.

"I bet." John said briskly. "What did you tell him?"

"As much as I could, which wasn't much." Mary said honestly. "I told him that the group that you always went back to after being with us wanted him too."

"So you tried to turn him against me." John said, staring at her. "You tried to make him think that I was the bad guy."

"Now you're putting words in my mouth." Mary shot at him, turning her head so that she could glare at him. "What was I supposed to say?"

"The truth, that mom got scared and decided to leave even when dad was going to work with her." John told her. "Or maybe you just shouldn't have run away at all."

Mary forced herself to take a deep breath and slowly breathe out. "I know you're hurting right now," she said tensely. "And I know you're lashing out, but that doesn't give you the right to talk to me like this and especially about things you clearly don't understand."

"I don't understand?" John repeated. "I understand plenty, you got spooked and decided, instead of staying and facing things together, that you'd just pack up and run away. Where were you even going? Did you even know what you were going to do or were you just going to wing it?"

"I knew enough." Mary told him. "Stop talking to me like that," she gestured with her head towards Dean who was starting to tremble, tucking himself onto his body as much as he could.

For a moment it looked like John was about to keep talking but then she could see how he practically physically reined himself in, letting out a deep breath as he tried to calm himself down.

"Right now our main concern is Sammy." Mary told him. "After that comes everything else. I would like to at least hold him before we deal with anything else, including this and us."

"And when that time comes what exactly is going to happen?" John asked. "Because the way I see it the same thing is going to happen again. Only this time instead of just one kid, you'll run away with two."

"I'm doing what's best for my children." Mary said through slightly gritted teeth. "I'm doing what's right for them."

"They're my children too Mary." John shot back at her. "Not just yours, mine too."

"Then act like it." she half snapped at him. "Act like they are your children and do what's right for them."

"What's right for them is not having their parents split up." John said. "What's right for them is to give them a family."

"And I'm the one trying to rip that family apart." Mary said with a snort.

"Your words, not mine."

Mary fought the urge to throw something heavy at him. "I think," she said slowly. "You should take a nice long look at who is really trying to tear this family apart and then realize who's side you should be on." she shot him one more glare and then turned back to Dean, stroking over his back. "Before it's too late."

**I do not own Supernatural.**

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**Trouble in paradise.**


	64. Chapter 64

John just ended up taking watch up outside the window of where they were keeping Sammy. He leaned back against the opposite wall and just stared at his son, watched as he slept or moved around, watched as the nurses fussed over him and the doctors checked on him. It was oddly peaceful to do so, just watching a sleeping babe.

So long as he could ignore the wires and machines attached to him, it was peaceful. And peaceful was what he needed now more than anything to try to help him think.

He had no idea what to do, didn't even have the slightest thought in what might be the right way.

Logically, he just wanted his son to be alright and breathing on his own. Logically, he just wanted his family together again. Him, Mary, their boys.

He had to think about this in the right way, no real emotions attached like it had been the moment Bobby had come into the picture, literally.

He knew that he was being ridiculous, he knew that he was over exaggerating the whole thing with Bobby and Mary. He just couldn't help it, the whole notion hurt so much that he found himself lashing out just to try to get rid of the bone deep aching feeling in his chest.

But he had ended up hurting Mary in the process, and that was the last thing that he wanted to do.

But he was so angry. Angry at her, angry at the other Letters.

But most of all, he was angry at himself.

Angry that he let it get to this point. Angry that he hadn't fought for his family harder. Angry that he allowed the older Letters to dictate what they were going to do.

Angry that he brought Mary to the point that she felt like she had no other option but to run away.

He just had no idea what to do or how to do anything or even what was worth doing.

The number one priority right now, was Sammy. Making sure that he was okay and could be away from the machines.

Problem was, there was nothing he or Mary or anyone could do. It was all in the hands of fate and whether there was a god.

And he had no idea about that one. He knew that the men of letters had sightings of angels, even allegedly had angel feathers in their deepest storages. And logically it meant that there had to be a creator of some sort.

But personally? He didn't believe. There was no point in believing in a giant man in the sky looking over them when there was so much bad happening in the world.

No matter what train of thought his mind went to, it always came back around to the same question that was ringing in his head.

What now?

They were back to square one, back to a place where neither of them were willing to budge, he knew Mary and he knew that come high heaven or hell she was going to stand her ground so long as she thought she was doing what was best for the kids.

He couldn't blame her, he was doing the same thing.

The problem was, what they each thought was best was the complete opposite of one another.

He breathed out slowly and tried to think, tried to think outside of the box and what he wanted, what Mary wanted, and tried to see the whole thing from an outsiders point of view.

Mary's biggest thing was that she didn't want the boys to be in the supernatural life. Even in the relative safety of being a Man of Letters she didn't want. She wanted them to have an ordinary life without being touched by the supernatural.

He didn't think that it was possible no matter what side they remained on. Whether it was Letters, Hunters, or normalcy. The threat of the supernatural was always there and it wasn't something that they had the privilege to ignore.

Especially because they both had history in the life. Campbell and Winchester, those names were known not just to people in the life but to the monsters as well.

Which meant that they would be safer with wards and most likely in the bunker with all its protection.

But that would mean that Dean, and most likely Sammy, would have to be sworn in as Men of Letters, only those who are sworn in can choose to live in the bunker full time. Even he wasn't at that stage just yet.

He breathed out slowly, just staring at Sammy, lost in his thoughts as he tried to figure out what to do.

At some point Mary came by, holding Dean close to her chest in her arms. He was tucked under her chin and his eyes were reddened over as if he had been crying. Wordlessly she sat down next to John, facing the window where Sammy was, holding Dean to her and not saying a word as they watched their second son.

After what seemed like forever, Mary let out a deep sigh, curling over Dean as best as she could, just holding him close to her. She almost seemed to hesitate but then moved, delicately placing her head on his shoulder.

John was stiff in place, barely moving, almost like a soldier the entire time. He didn't acknowledge her as she moved, just staring straight ahead at Sammy.

But slowly he brought his arm up and around her shoulders, wrapping it around her, and bringing her close to him. Despite everything else, he could feel the both of them relax against one another as Dean looked up at her and then him. He could see from the corner of his eyes as Dean then turned back to Sammy, leaning back against his mom as he stared at his brother.

It was going to be hard and he knew that there were a lot more things that needed to be said and done before reaching any sort of conclusion.

But he also had a feeling that...they were going to be okay.

They were going to be okay.

They had to be.

**I do not own Supernatural.**

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	65. Chapter 65

It took a lot of convincing but Mary was pulled away from the hospital long enough to go back to Bobby's to take a shower at the least. She didn't like it but Bobby and her parents at least remained back to watch over Sammy. They all said the same thing, that she needed to get out of here just for a little bit. She, and Dean, couldn't stay there the whole time.

So John was driving the both of them back to Bobby's place so she could take a shower, give Dean a bath, and try to make herself feel human again before going back to the hospital.

She leaned back against the window, Dean asleep on her lap as they drove through the town. She had already given him the directions that he needed and they drove in silence.

Finally they reached Bobby's house and wordlessly the three of them went inside, her holding Dean's hand in hers. She looked down at him; he rubbed at his eyes, noting that he was just a bit dirty.

Bath. She'd give him a bath and then focus on everything else.

"C'mon baby, bath time." she murmured to him, guiding him upstairs to the bathroom.

Mary was quiet as she washed him, thankful that he seemed to be mindful of everyone else and stayed quiet. Her touch was gentle as she used the shampoo and conditioner. Before they came up John had offered to do this and she had been tempted to take him up on it, she was still sore from giving birth, but she had no desire to let Dean out of her sight any time soon.

And this way, she could feel as if she was some sort of use. She can't save Sammy but she could give Dean a bath.

Once the water turned cold she turned it off and toweled him dry, redressing him and going back to the living room. John was there on the couch waiting for them, looking up as they entered. He moved his jaw from side to side for a moment before he spoke.

"Feel like eating?" he asked, his voice rough.

Her stomach clenched at the reminder that she had no idea when she ate last. Dean pressed into her leg but she could feel him nod.

"There's food in the kitchen." she mumbled. She wished she could pick him up but she wasn't strong enough yet. Carrying him before and bathing him had taken most of her strength. She simply placed her hand on top of his head and led him into the kitchen, hoping that there was something quick she could make.

Bobby had made sure to keep the kitchen stocked to a degree for them so thankfully there were a few jars of peanut butter and grape jelly as well as some apple juice for Dean. Staring at the bread, however, she realized she had no idea if she could cut the crusts or keep them on, she couldn't remember what Dean liked, and when she tried to remember what her mom used to do, she couldn't.

Taking a deep breath she left the crusts on and placed it all on a plate, helping Dean to sit in the chair and placing it on the table for him to reach.

Dean stared at the sandwich for a moment before he reached out and ripped the crusts off, letting them fall onto the plate before he started eating.

Because he didn't like crusts, of course he didn't like crusts, he hated the rough texture and how chewy it was.

Mary turned away, feeling the pinprick of tears in her eyes. She couldn't even get a sandwich right for Dean, couldn't help Sammy. What could she do? What was she even good for?

A part of her knew that she was being ridiculous; it was just a sandwich that she was looking too deep into. But another part felt like it was so much more than a sandwich; it felt like one giant symbol of how bad a mother she really was.

She pressed the heels of her hands into her eyes and took a few deep breaths to try to steady herself. She had to remain strong.

For her sons.

She brought her hands down, she could hear John talking to someone on the phone in the other room, and rolled her shoulders back a few times before she made a simple peanut butter sandwich for herself to quickly eat, she didn't feel hungry in the slightest but it gave her something else to focus on.

Swallowing half a glass of apple juice she almost felt human and ready enough to go back to the hospital.

Her stomach clenched once more at the thought of Sammy in the incubator but swallowed another gulp of juice to bring down the bile.

John came into the kitchen, softening at Dean who was quietly finishing his sandwich. "You wanna rest or you want to go back?" he asked, not looking at her.

She wanted nothing more than to crawl into a bed and go to sleep, and wake up when things would be alright again.

Instead she took a deep breath and said, "We should get back." she said, looking at Dean as well. She didn't want to keep dragging him back to the hospital but she also didn't want him to leave her sight. "I don't want to be away from him."

She quickly gathered a few more things, changed both hers and Dean's clothes, and grabbed a few toys for him to play with at the hospital. She glanced at John a few times but didn't say anything, but she did give him the bag she was filling when he held his hand out for it.

They were back on the road soon enough, with Dean on her lap once more. She just wrapped her arms around him and stared out the window once more, eyes widening as they drove by something she had seen countless times but never really realized it.

There was a crossroads just barely outside of town, close to the hospital.

**I do not own Supernatural.**

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	66. Chapter 66

Mary couldn't get the image of the crossroads out of her head. All she could see was those roads promising salvation and life for her son.

At the cost of her soul, in ten years time to be dragged down to hell

She swallowed hard and looked through the window where Sammy was laying, she wasn't sure if he was asleep or just lying there amidst all the wires and machines.

It wasn't a way for a baby to live. She remembered Dean as a baby, wiggling and moving around and always reaching. Reaching for his toys, for his blanket, for her, or John or her parents.

Watching Sammy like this, unable to really move even if he wanted to, dependent so much on the incubator to keep him alive was hard and made her heart clench.

She had no idea what else she could do. Waiting was their only option and it almost felt like things were getting worse the longer she waited.

The image of the crossroad flashed in her mind once more.

She knew exactly what ingredients she needed for this; a picture of herself, some graveyard dirt, and a bone from a black cat. If she wanted to strengthen the summoning she could add dead yarrow flowers.

She also knew that she had everything that she needed back at Bobby's house.

It would be easy. She technically semi-lived at Bobbys and she knew where everything was in his so called organization. She knew what to do and how to do it.

The question was, would she be willing to do it? Would she be willing to damn herself for her son, to ensure that he would live and that he would be okay?

The answer was clear and instant, yes. She'd do whatever it takes for her children, even if it meant sacrificing herself if it meant that they would be okay.

Mary breathed out slowly, the breath fogging the window for a moment before it faded. Dean was in John's arms now, she couldn't hold him up for too long, but he also seemed almost...uncomfortable, like he had forgotten how to properly be in John's arms. He kept shifting and moving around, mostly focused on Sammy through the window.

Dean let out a sigh, it sounded so put out and adult that despite everything Mary couldn't help but smile slightly at the sound. It was completely out of place on Dean but seemed to fit the situation at hand.

She wrapped her arms around herself, leaning against the wall for a bit of support. Her legs felt weak and she wanted to sit but she didn't want to leave the window. Even if Sammy didn't know they were there she didn't want to leave him alone for a second more than she had to.

God she was tired.

Ten years was a long time, wasn't it? Ten years would mean that Dean will be fourteen and Sammy would be ten. And it would be worth it in the end, wouldn't it? It meant that her boys would be alive and together, with or without her.

But where would they end up?

The obvious answer was John, he was their father after all. But not according to their birth certificates, on those there was no father listed at all. By law John had no right to them, so that meant that...they would go to her parents.

And immediately placed in training to become hunters.

What was the other alternative? Being with John meant that they would both be placed into Men of Letters training.

At least being hunters would give them some sort of freedom and independence. At least they wouldn't need to ask permission to go see a movie.

She had no idea what to do. Had no idea what the next step she should take.

At some point their doctor joined them to discuss Sammy's progress.

Or lack thereof.

He wasn't doing any better but he also wasn't doing any worse, he was stable and that was both a good thing and a bad thing. He was still having trouble breathing on his own, still had trouble taking the milk that they were trying to give him. But otherwise his vitals were all the same, nothing had changed.

Nothing had changed.

So that meant that...something had to be done. Something, anything. If it meant saving Sammy...she would be willing to do it.

She closed her eyes and slowly breathed out, tearing her gaze away from Sammy to look at Dean. He was leaning back against Johns chest completely, eyes withdrawn as he took his little brother in.

Her heart clenched and she swallowed hard.

There was always something that could be done. Provided that you knew exactly what to do and where to find it.

Or, in certain cases, know how to summon it.

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